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I pressed myself into the shadows outside the healer’s wing and drew in a deep breath. What had I been thinking? She’d had her life turned upside down. She was in shock and afraid, mostly of me. Yet every time I opened my mouth to her, nothing but belligerent alpha nonsense came out.
And then I went and touched her. By the Goddess. Why did I do that?
I don’t think the Goddess herself could have stopped me, though. My Sol was beautiful. I had known she would be. When her body went limp and I caught her in my arms on the landing, I held her against my chest and felt the rightness of her there. The curves of her that fit exactly to mine. Then her scent hit me, and I knew I was done for. She seemed so small when I laid her on the bed, but Goddess, she was strong. I could feel it, her strength of will.
Her hair was still pure sunshine, and those green eyes that lived in my memories all those years were just as knowing as they had seemed back then. Except now they were filled with fear and disgust. Yes, there had been lust there, too, but that didn’t matter when she looked at me like I was the one who had destroyed her world.
This would kill me.
The Goddess would never give us more than we could handle, though, right? My mother always whispered so under her breath when she was angry at my father. But they weren’t ryder and dragon. They were both dragons.
And she didn’t hate him. At least not when they met.
I found myself faced with the impossible task of trying to train my ryder, and quickly, when she wanted nothing to do with me or this life. I had to suspect she would reject her magic, too, because it went against all she knew. How did you make someone want what they never knew existed and accept something they were programmed to reject?
An impossible feat.
Blasphemy sat at the tip of my tongue.Why had Kalilah done this to me? I would have words for her when I met her in my afterlife.
I ground my teeth, keeping back the curse I wished to scream at the heavens. It wouldn’t change my stars.
It was all made worse by the torrent of free-flowing thoughts that poured from Zaria’s mind unchecked. They were messing with my head. It had to be that. I had to help her get that under control quickly for both our sakes. Although…knowing the places her mind went when she was backed into a corner was very enlightening. But, fuck. If I’d had to listen to much more of it, I couldn’t have been held responsible for slamming her into a wall and devouring that pretty, vicious mouth of hers.
I smacked my forehead and raked my hand down my face.
“Going well, I take it?” Kol’s voice came from deeper in the shadows.
“Fuck!” I jumped half out of my skin.
Kol’s gravelly laugh came from the darkness, but my eyes shifted without a thought, revealing everything the darkness shielded from most eyes. “You might be the Dragon of the Night, but you are not the only dragon of the Asra line in the palace. Beware the shadows, brother. You know better than anyone. That’s where you’ll find me.”
I could usually feel him approaching in my mind. I couldn’t let myself be so unguarded again. I rolled my eyes and walked over to where he was reclined against the plinth of our father’s statue. It was an eyesore, appropriately situated in the shadows of the palace walls to honor his service and his sacrifice to the kingdoms. I hardly noticed it anymore, so of course, Kol hung out there.
“You need to see someone about your skulking tendencies,” I grumbled, taking a seat beside him.
“I was merely waiting for you to finish…” He waved his hand in the air, leaving the possibilities unspoken.
I scowled, not taking his bait. He had no clue what had just happened, and it was going to stay that way.
“Did you fuck it up already?”
I shot him a look.
“Oh, calm down. Your glowy-eyed, Dragon of the Night bit doesn’t work on me.”
I scoffed. “You used to cower when Father did it.”
“Pft! It wasn’t me who pissed himself that time he?—”
“Yes, yes.” I waved him off. “The general was a scary bastard. But you could show me the courtesy of being equally afraid of me once in a while, you know.”
“You were born six minutes before me, not six decades. We shared a womb, so your firstborn shit doesn’t work with me, either.”
“I beat you out, though, didn’t I, little brother?” I nudged him.
“That great big head of yours was blocking the exit!” He nudged me back.
I laughed and shook my head. I always thought I needed to be alone with my thoughts, but Kol was always there to remind me that what I really needed was this.
