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I had farewelled Elanil in my own way. I had left my brother without saying a word because he would have taken it in the worst way imaginable if I had given him my farewell.
But the reality that I’d never see any of them again only crashed onto me now.
When my closest friend turned his back to me.
My bottom lip trembled and my eyes stung, my fingers quaked and my chest clenched. “A—”
“Go, now,” he said, this time his voice tight like stretched fabric. “Go before someone sees.”
My hand moved, but he stiffened before I even touched his skin.
“I’ll stand guard, so leave!” His shoulders rose, body hunched as if it pained him to be near me now.
I jerked forward and coiled my arms around his waist, plastering myself to his spine and clutching him tightly because I didn’t want to let go of that warmth and kindness and gentle protection.
“This is the last of my selfishness,” I choked when he whimpered, pushing myself closer, holding him securely, closing my eyes and carving him into my memory because this was the last time. The last time I’d ever see Ayen. The last time I’d ever hear Ayen. The last time I’d ever be protected or comforted or encouraged by Ayen.
This was the last memory I would have of Ayen.
“Don’t forget me,” I pleaded, biting my tongue when my voice broke, my breath catching in my throat, my chest pinched tight.
He laughed, but it was the most strained and agonised I’d ever heard from him. This laugh was like boiled honey; sweet but unbearably warm, and it burned and stung and left an ache that perhaps would never go away.
Bittersweet.
“You’re so selfish,” he whispered. A drop of moisture splattered on my skin, and then his warm hand rested on top of it. He squeezed my palms, the last bit of support he’d ever give me, and I held on to it just that little bit more before he drew away.
Farewell, dear friend.
“Remember me.” The smooth kindness in his voice forced another wave of tears and quivers. I nodded my head frantically, brokenly mumbling that I wouldnever, everforget him.
I took a step away and turnedmyback to him, my eyes heavy.
And almost as if I’d never been there, I vanished from my world.
40
Despite having visited the land of Spiders many times in the past, stepping onto it this time was… different. I was more aware of everything. The stillness of the trees and the silence of the night because this was the time when the beasts on the ground came to life. This was the first time I’deverstepped onto this world so late.
I was all alone in a foreign land that would soon become home, and my mate wasn’t within sight.
Everything was dim and eerie, the distant rushing of water the only thread of peace I felt as I took small, hesitant steps forward, eyes scattering around me, ears twitching at every rustle and creak and squeak.
This place was so different when it was nighttime. During the day, it seemed beautiful and surreal. During the night, it seemed like a scene out of a nightmare.
Somehow, I’d made my way to the familiar black cliff without any issues. I clawed my way up quickly—as quickly as I possibly could with my small, delicate claws. They were not made for breaking into tough objects. There were a few instances where I came close to falling; I kept losing my balance, and I noticed the reason was all those new spiderwebs that hadn’t been there the previous times I’d been here.
With a heavy gulp, I continued up until I made it to the ground on top. Until I was all alone again, but this time there was a sense of security.
Vyrin cooed on top of my head, stomping her tiny feet in a hurry.
“It’s all right,” I reassured, lifting my arms up and offering her my fingers to stand on. When she did, I lowered my hands so I could look at her enchanting eyes. A blue dove with orange eyes. As bizarre as it was, she was stunning.
I smiled, trying to be as bright as I could when I was a little shaken myself. “This is home now.”
She protested, bobbing her head this way and that before she puffed out her feathers in a display of silent rebellion. Keia shrieked from my left shoulder, puffing out her own feathers in a way of aggression.
“Enough, you two.” I shook them both away, mildly satisfied by their startled squeaks. “Vyrin, this was originally your home. Ease your fear and accept it.”
