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Green. She looked green and small.
“K-Keia?”
She squeaked to that as Ayen bumped his nose against mine with a smile, his palms gentle on my face.
“Where’s the dove?”
“She m-moved to the left as well.”
My breathing calmed a little, soft gasps mixing with sniffles as the pressure in my chest eased. Ayen closed his eyes before his hands moved down to my back, gently pushing me towards him. His skin was warm and soothing, a welcomed relief against the sudden chill that shook my spine. I curled my arms around his waist and listened to his steady pulse, finding refuge in its calm.
The chatter and laughter from outside never stopped.
“Do what you feel is right,” Ayen murmured near my ear, smoothing my hair with one of his hands.
My arms tightened around him as I gulped down the heaviness that began to constrict my throat again. “I-I don’t want to leave.”
“I know,” he whispered, but there was a strain in his tone.
Even though I didn’t want to leave, a time would come when I’d have no choice but to do what I didn’t want. I would have to leave my old life behind in order to start my future.
It never occurred to me how difficult it would be to… move forward. I always thought I’d be able to come back and visit like Pyria and her mate sometimes did. They would often step into our world so she could see her family again, even though it was very brief because her home was where her mate was.
If I was to leave, I’d never be welcomed here again because I’d be the mate of an enemy. I would become a traitor, an outsider.
No more family, no more friends.
No more Amnestria’s flower.
No more Faelyn.
No more Ayen.
I’d have to give up everything—absolutelyeverything—and settle in a land where I’d have no one of my own kind to help me when I needed help, to guide me when I was lost.
I didn’t want to leave.
But this place no longer felt like it was mine.
34
Never in all my existence had I ever not wanted to participate in the honouring of the elements, the night of the Blue Moon. Never had I ever not wanted to celebrate the fact that I was born and alive.
I felt abandoned. The people who I loved and cherished no longer seemed like my people. I felt like a stranger in my own home—the place I previously called home. These people wouldn’t be looking at me so warmly and smiling so sweetly if they found out I yearned for the enemy.
Children ran about with bright smiles and vibrant clothes while the adults stood around in various circles, conversing and waiting for the feast to commence. We couldn’t begin that extravagant, mouth-watering feast without that prominent tribe of Elves joining us—we were still waiting even though the Blue Moon was nearing its peak.
In contrast to all that joy, my eyes were watering. My teeth were clenched tight as I tried suppressing a sniffle, and my hands shook even when I folded them over my stomach.
A hand touched my bare upper arm. I jumped, a gasp losing its way in my throat as I looked at the owner with wide eyes.
Ayen was scowling, his green eyes accusatory. “Are you wishing for a disaster?”
I gasped again, this time offended as I stepped away from his touch.
“I’m serious,” he said with a glare. “Lighten up.”
“I’m here against my will and I have to greet guests I couldn’t care less about,” I defended bitterly. “How in Heaven’s name could I lighten up?”
