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She wanted to laugh, that much was obvious, but she was being considerate of my feelings.
“Anyway, remember that part. But, given your different natures, I will tell you now that you may find yourself fighting your mate for dominance.” The amusement in her brown eyes turned grim. “I sincerely hope he will never force you into anything, especially submission, but if he does…” She held my face between her hands, her eyes holding a fierceness I never saw from her. “Use your claws and fight,” she said, her voice low and firm. “Do not hesitate to defend yourself and fight back if you have to.”
I gulped and nodded, my spine straightening as I clasped her wrists with my palms. “What if…” I licked my suddenly dry lips and peeked at her hesitantly. “What if I submit to him after resisting?”
“That means your spirit recognises him as a predator instead.”
Coldness shuddered under my flesh. A predator? To think of my own mate as a predator?
“Fight back.” She leaned closer, resting her forehead against mine, watching me with troubled eyes. “Even if a little, but if youwillinglyyield, acknowledge and accept it, or it’ll be a nasty experience.”
I gulped again, clenching my teeth to still the small wobble in my jaw.
“Do you understand?” she repeated, gripping my face tighter as she made me meet her gaze. “Realise when you’re backing down willingly.”
“I’m scared,” I answered instead, holding on to her wrists tightly because I didn’t want her to leave me alone just yet.
Elanil sighed loudly, closing her eyes and shaking her head before opening her eyes to stare at me with a funny expression.
“I was like that, too, but then I became needy and suddenly I was on your brother and—”
“Elanil, what in damnation?!” I shrieked, shoving her away from me with frightened eyes. Her guffaw bounced across my room, eyes crinkled and shoulders shaking.
“All I’m saying is that I can tell you what to expect so you don’t become spooked like I did on my first night—”
“Enough, please!” I covered my face with my hands, barely managing to hide my burning cheeks before she broke into another roaring laugh. “Shameless female!”
“Hey!” she said, once again dragging my arms away from my face to force our eyes to lock. “Faelyn said he loved that daring side about me because—”
“Get out!”
“I apologise, I’ll stop!” She giggled, pulling me into her arms and holding me tightly. When I tried to fight my way out, she tightened her arms around me andshushedme, as ifIwas the one making such a ruckus.
I gave up with a huff and let her hold me, listening as Elanil’s heartbeat slowed down and her breathing steadied.
“Don’t go,” she whispered, her arms stiffening and stretching to draw me closer to her; if it was possible, she would have pulled me inside her chest and locked me away in her rib cage. “Don’t leave.”
My throat narrowed, and when I spoke, my voice came out small and feeble. “I have to.”
“You don’t,” she countered with a voice so thick and heavy it sounded choked. “You can visit him whenever you want. I can help you!” She pulled away but kept her hands on my shoulders. “I-I can cover your tracks while you visit, and I can keep Faelyn occupied! I can do that!”
I shook my head, biting the inside of my cheeks when my chest pinched. “I don’t want that.”
“Please!” Her hands on my shoulders squeezed just as her eyes became misty. “Please, stay and choose Aias instead. I’m begging you!”
“I don’t want that.”
“Please,” she repeated, furiously blinking her brown eyes when a tear dropped. “Don’t go.”
I swallowed again and reached up to cup her face between my smaller hands, my fingers carefully wiping the wet tracks she ignored. She shuddered and closed her eyes, and I knew then that she realised it was all useless.
There was no easy option here, only a less painful one. I had two important paths before me, and whichever one I chose, the other would be lost forever. The tracks would fade, and I would no longer be able to find the place I would have to leave behind.
It was either them or him.
And even if the choice warranted my death, even if we were not meant to be, even in my next life and the life after, I would choose him.
Because where they were my past and my present, he was my future.
