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“I didn’t come here because of superficial reasons. I came here because Gabe and Gin are my safe place. They feel like home to me. They always have. You know that. I’ve always been honest about how important they are to me. It’s why I insisted they both be in the wedding.”
“I should have known then. Really, I suspected, but I didn’t want to seem jealous. If only I’d known…” He stands abruptly.
“I’m so sorry I hurt you, David. I didn’t mean to. If I could go back and do it again…”
“You’d never have been with me in the first place? The last two years were a complete waste. Thanks, Aurora. Just what I want to hear right now.” He swipes at the tears on his cheek, a derisive laugh as he moves to get around me.
“Is there anything I can say?”
“No. Coming here was a mistake. I just… convinced myself that maybe you just had cold feet. But I can’t compete with him. Obviously.” David brushes past me then, headed for the stairs.
“David… please. I’m sorry.”
He turns back. “Just write those apology letters. I’ll do what I can in the meantime. Good luck with him. I hope he does right by you. That he doesn’t abandonyoufor something better.”
His words cut like he intends, and he’s in the rental car and backing out of the driveway before I can think of a response. I sit on the porch for a long while, feeling hurt. Feeling guilty. Wondering if David isn’t right about Gabe being able to do better. The tears come and go. Not marrying David is the right thing. I know that. But it doesn’t change the fact that I wish I’d done so many things differently.
CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
Gabe
She’s outside so long that I’m sure by the time she gets in, she’s going to tell me that they’ve reconciled, and she’s going back home with him. That she might not make the wedding tomorrow, but they’re going to reschedule. This whole thing between us will just be a blip.
I can’t really believe it. Not after last night. But given how long it took us to get here. How impossible it seems that it’s finally happening? I feel like I’m just waiting for something to tell me I’ve been dreaming the entire time.
When I see her come back in the door looking fragile and shaken up, I cross the room to meet her. Her eyes are red, and I can tell she’s holding back tears. I feel awful for wanting things from her that she probably doesn’t have the capacity to give right now.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. I’ll be fine. Just a tough conversation, you know?”
I nod, and we walk to sit down on the couch together.
“Is he staying in town or?” I don’t know how else to ask what their future holds.
“I doubt it. There’s nothing left to say, and he’s understandably angry with me.”
I slip my hand around her and rub her back in slow circles.
“I’m sorry. I know none of this is easy.”
“I just feel guilty for screwing up his life and wasting so much of his time. He wasn’t a bad guy, you know? He just wasn’t right for me. I wasn’t right for him. I tried to point out that it was better now than after we got married, but he wasn’t wanting to hear it.”
I nod along and she sniffles a little, leaning against me.
“I’m sorry. I doubt you want to hear about all this.”
“I’m good. As long as you aren’t telling me you’re running off to get married—I’m good.” I give her a half smile to reassure her.
“No…” She returns it. “I need to know though… I don’t want to rush you. This is all really new, and the last thing I want is to fuck anything up here. It doesn’t change anything about how I handled things with David, but it changes whether I go home tomorrow or not.”
“What’s that?” I feel the anxiety creep up my spine.
“This week… Us. What is it for you?”
I take a deep breath, and my hand slips down her back. I stare at a spot on the rug, and I try to decide how much to tell her. If I confess everything now or try to hold back to give her time. I feel like there’s probably a right answer, and I have no idea what it is.
“It’s okay if it’s just a one-time thing. It won’t change our friendship. I love you and Gin no matter what.” She says the words, but the slight waiver to her voice and the look in her eyes betrays her.
