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“I was seventeen when Sheila came into my life. She was this bubbly, vibrant blonde who promised me the world and then some. I had my sights on New York City even then. I had visions of being on Broadway. I’d been in all the school musicals, and my teachers thought I was good enough to get into a top school and make my way to the stage. Sheila thought different. She had dreams of back to Ohio, of starting a business, and of starting a family. She wanted simple stability in a hometown she was attached to. I, at that time, wanted her and only her. I let her talk me into it, and in the process, I let her talk me out of my own dream.”
“I’m sorry,” Rachel replied, seeing the hurt on his face. She knew what it was like to sacrifice a dream for someone else. She knew that all too well.
“I moved to Ohio with her, and we both got into the same college. She talked me into being a finance major so we could run a business together. I was miserable, but I was blinded by my love for her. So I went with it. Fast forward three years into our master plan, and I walked into our apartment after getting out of a class early. That’s when I saw her with some guy from her class. She was in his arms, and the way she looked at him—it told me everything I needed to know. Within a month, she’d left with him for California, and I was left behind, living a dream that was someone else’s with no money or motivation to get on a different path.”
“That’s terrible. How could she do that?” Rachel asked, floored by how some people tampered with hearts so easily.
“It sucked, and I spent quite a few months in a dark place. But eventually, I dug myself out of the funk and decided to start over. I got a new dream, this time chasing down a second passion, which was teaching. I got my degree in special education, deciding I’d missed the boat on Broadway. I tried to talk myself into a more conventional life, tried to convince myself I could find happiness. But I guess a piece of me also clung to the old dream, which was why I moved out here to the city. If I couldn’t be on Broadway, I at least wanted to be around it. I got my job, which I love, I do. And I promised myself I wouldn’t let anyone screw up my life again.”
“I’m glad you didn’t let her hold you down. It speaks volumes that you could pull yourself out of that dark place and build something wonderful. You’re amazing, Zander.”
“Well, I guess I’d like to think I’ve left it behind, that I’m strong. But when it comes to love, she just sort of ruined me, you know? She showed me that even the most steadfast promises can be broken. I have a hard time trusting. I haven’t had a serious relationship since her. Up until meeting you, I didn’t think I ever wanted one.” He tucked his hands in his pockets, rocking on his feet as he blew out a deep breath.
Rachel took a step forward, closing the small gap between them. “I understand why you reacted like you did. I get it now. But I’m not her. I’m different. I wouldn’t dream of getting in the way of your passions. I wouldn’t do that to you. And listen, I’m scared, too. This whole thing, whatever it is, it took me by surprise as well. I wasn’t looking for love. I definitely wasn’t looking for a relationship. I know what it’s like when your heart gets in the way of your dreams. I don’t want to do that again, either. I almost lost this dream because of some guy, so I understand. But we’re different, Zander. We’re not those same people we once were. We’re different, and we’re different together. Let’s just promise to remember that.”
“I think that’s a promise we can keep,” he said.
“It is. Look, we don’t have to take this thing anywhere. We can take it slow or not at all. The truth is, I just like being with you. I like you, a lot. It scares me crazy bad, but it also excites me. Let’s just promise to see this thing through, wherever it might lead. And let’s promise that no matter what, we won’t burn each other like we’ve been burned in the past. Okay?”
“Okay,” he whispered, leaning in to take her mouth with his.
They sealed it with a kiss outside of Broadway, the crowd thinning around them but still ever present.
They headed out into the New York City night, two vulnerable people terrified to let go and love—but also realizing that sometimes it was more terrifying to not try at all.
