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Thirty-Two
Cash
“About damn timeyou show up. Honestly, this new generation. Do any of you know the first thing about work ethic?”
The man rubs his graying moustache as he hobbles inside the door of his apartment, holding open the door just wide enough for me to sideways scramble into the place he calls home. His face seems permanently frozen in a scowl. I carry my sad excuse for a toolbox, hoping I can remember the steps that Levi had walked me through over the phone.
“And don’t you think for a second I’m leaving you alone. I’ve got plenty of valuables in here, so don’t get any ideas.” The man practically barks the words at me as he shoos me towards the back room where the broken washer rests. I inhale. This is going to be a long, long, long afternoon.
Thank goodness I’ll be going back to Texas, away from this phony career and miserable life here. Thank goodness I’ve regained my wits and haven’t let my heart dictate my future. Right?
I shove down the pangs of guilt and heartbreak that have been keeping me up at night. I shove aside the image of Sage’s smiling face, the thought of her body moving under mine in perfect harmony—
“Well, boy, hop to it. I don’t have all damn day to watch you fart around.”
Back to reality it is.
I sit down, reminding myself to stay calm and confident. I am a brilliant lawyer who passed the bar. I can handle a messed-up hose in a washer, can’t I? I try to walk back through Levi’s instructions. Why hadn’t he just come over and taken care of it? That’s what he should have done. In a few weeks, he’d have to take care of it, anyway.
I set to work removing the cover, listening to Mr. Crenshaw bark orders and complain and swear at my incompetence.
And that’s when it happens. The water sprays everywhere when I loosen the hose much too quickly, getting Mr. Crenshaw soaking wet. I sit there, confused about what to do next, and convinced that it’s all just hopeless. Hopeless indeed.
* * *
“Don’t worry,brother. We can’t all be expert handymen like me,” Levi teases as we head back to my office after he came in and saved the day with Mr. Crenshaw. The washer was mercifully fixed, and all is right again.
Except my pride.
“That man’s a nightmare. How do you deal with him?” I ask. The cantankerous renter apparently had been living in the apartment since Grandad first bought the place.
“Well, I feel sorry for him, actually,” Levi murmurs as we walked into the office.
“Why?”
“Grandad said he’s lived alone all those years. Never married. No kids. Just all alone. I think it’s made him sort of grumpy.”
I look at Levi to see him giving me a matter-of-fact look.
I exhale loudly, heading to the window. “Go ahead. Say it, brother.”
“Say what?”
“You think I’m being a fool.” My hands are in my pockets. I stare out over the lawn of the apartment building, looking into the vast ocean view in the distance.
“Hey, I didn’t say it.”
“You don’t have to,” I respond, turning to look at my brother’s know-it-all face.
“Well, if you don’t need someone to say it, then it must mean you already know it’s true.”
“What am I supposed to do, Levi? Give up my career, my life in Texas for a girl I just met? Who is a player? What if it doesn’t work out?”
Levi grins, readjusting his hat. I think about chucking it out the window, I hate it so much.
“Here’s the thing about that question, Cash. There’s always another side. Because what if it does?”
What if it does. It’s a thought I’ve been tossing around since Sage stormed out of the Coffee Hole, since I realized exactly how she felt and what she was thinking. Not that I’d admit that to Levi.
But love is complicated. It’s why I’ve always avoided it. And two players can never really play for keeps, can they? Not with distance and different careers and doubts between them.
I was always meant to go back to Texas. This was never permanent. I was never meant to settle down.
These are the mantras I chant to myself as I head back to my place for the night, thinking about how empty the bed is without her—and wondering if I’m making the biggest damn mistake of my life. Wondering how it will feel to go back to my bachelor pad in Texas, alone with booze, women, and a broken heart bigger than Texas.
