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Chris opens my door and I push myself out before Clay talks me out of it. And with the way I’m feeling, it won’t take much to change my mind. Not that I’ll let Clay know that. We all know he doesn’t want me here today.
“What if I fall?” I ask Chris.
“Stand up straight and don’t put your weight into the sticks. You’ve got this.”
I’ve got this.
My family starts to gather around me. No one speaks. They all wait for me to make my first move.
“Clay Shawland, this is a surprise.” I look over to see Clay shaking a man’s hand before looking over at me. I vaguely recognize him, but I can’t put a name to him.
I take this opportunity to walk ahead. Chris keeps up with me, and my mom and dad and the rest of the guys follow. I know the minute Clay catches us up, because his hand rests on the bottom of my spine. It’s a comfort I relish in. Tingles shoot up my spine, covering me with goosebumps.
An elderly lady steps in front of us up ahead. She smiles warmly at me, but I can feel Clay and Chris tense beside me. This is what it’s going to be like today; everyone is on high alert.
“Hi. Shay?” She steps toward me slowly. She looks nervous about coming too close. I’d be terrified by the size of Clay and Chris.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I’m Joanie, Josh’s mom. That’s my husband, Berrie, over there.” She points over to the side and I follow her gaze to an elderly man sitting with his head down.
I can’t help but look at the man and feel terrible for everything he’s going through. Josh should be here with me. He should be getting his medal too.
“I…” I shake my head. I hold out my hand to the lady and she takes it and squeezes it warmly. “It’s so nice to meet you. I just want you to know that Josh is the true hero today, and these guys are going to do everything to get him home. I promise.”
Joanie looks up and down at Chris and nods. She smiles weakly and takes in a deep breath. “Thank you, son. I just want my boy home, dead or alive. I need to know that he’s resting in peace, not rotting in some ditch.” She addresses Chris.
I can’t help but think she has addressed the wrong Shawland brother, because Chris is a man of few words to strangers, but he shocks me. He rests his hand on Joanie’s shoulder and bends down to her height.
“I promise, hand on heart.” Chris places his other hand over his heart. “I’ll get Josh home to you. You have my word.”
I gaze over at Clay and Caleb, and even they look shocked that Chris did such a thing. He’s not an ogre, but he’s the big, brooding type. I want to squeeze the life out of him for what he said to Josh’s mom. I can imagine any hope is better than nothing.
“Thank you. The unknown is the hardest of all. I just wanted to make myself known. I’m glad you got home, my dear. I hope you continue to make good progress.”
“Thank you, Joanie. Please, don’t be a stranger. I’d like to keep in touch with you.”
“I’d like that very much.” She reaches into her purse and pulls out a card with her details on. “Contact me anytime. It will be a great comfort to hear all about the different situations you guys got in to.”
“I’m sure it will be.” I smile.
Joanie walks back over toward her husband and sits down. I’m transfixed on the couple. The pain is rolling off them in waves. It’s palpable to anyone they meet. Now I know how my family must have felt, and that just stabs at my heart all over again.
“Let’s get a seat, babe,” Clay guides me down to the front of the outside seating area that’s reserved for us. I can feel all eyes on me. I’m on edge. I don’t know if that’s because people are looking at me, or because a threat could be hanging over our heads. Now I know what Joanie meant when she said the unknown is the hardest thing to deal with.
“Clay Shawland.” Another gentleman in full colors walks toward us and holds his hand out to Clay.
Clay only offers his hand once he knows I’m seated safely.
“Lucca Langland. Long time no see.” Clay straightens up and shakes his hand. “How’s it going?”
“It’s going, buddy. Shay, good to see you home, soldier.” He salutes.
“Sir.” I nod.
I know I should stand to attention back to him, but that’s the last thing on my mind right now. Sitting on a seat in one piece is the top of my to do list.
“Sad time for the army. We’ve lost so many decent soldiers.”
