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I didn’t think getting my body and brain moving would make me feel better. I’m afraid of the thoughts. My body aches as much as my heart. I’m not saying I’m healed; I’m saying I’m trying to heal. I’m trying to be the man Hayley deserves, even if she never wants me again.
After a couple days of consideration, I connected with an old fraternity brother of mine and Eli’s. Decker Lourde has the NYC wired. Within half a day, he already lined up four showings for me. I need to be moving on. I just wish Hayley was looking at the listings with me.
Every one of them was beautiful, just not quite right. The last option happens to be within walking distance of Eli’s. We haven’t lived near each other since college. I know I want him to be close to my child. I’m hoping this will work out.
The minute we enter the apartment, I know this is the one. The floor-to-ceiling windows in the shared space show off the city in the best way. There’s a full bedroom and bathroom just off the common area that will be a hybrid office and guest space.
The smaller third bedroom, next to the master, will make a fine nursery. Hayley would freak over the closet space and the ridiculous walk-in shower. This place is fucking it. I ask Decker, “Where do I sign?” He stares at me like I’ve got three heads. When he sees that I’m dead serious, we put in an immediate offer and list my current condo. We might be initiating one of the fastest closing turnarounds ever. I want to be in the new place in two weeks.
I end up back at Eli and Dylan’s that same evening to tell them all about it. They think I might be moving too fast figuratively and literally, but it’s what I need. I have to leave the old apartment if I have a shot of pulling it together. I don’t have any more excuses to stay at Eli and Dylan’s, not that I’d need one, or stay with my parents. They know things are tough. Unless I know it’s over-over, I don’t want to have those conversations. Talking about it will only make it more real than it already is.
A quick overnight emergency trip back to Seattle for business is both a blessing and a curse. Garrett got a concussion in a preseason game last night. I made the arrangements last night and set off for a cross-country flight at five in the morning. The long flight made it easier to sleep, along with the long nights prior.
Luckily Gabrielle was able to pick me up at the airport and take me to his house to check on him before heading to our main office for all-day meetings. I had a meeting with our boss set up for virtual today before this trip came up. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about the outcome.
I quickly button up my jacket before I knock on the door. “Hey there, Taylor. Come in. Close the door.”
Greg Sullivan is one of the biggest players in the game. You name a championship team in any sport the last decade and he’s had a client or two on every one of them. He knows how to negotiate a deal like some can fix any car with an ear and a toolbox. The deals are perfect, ironclad, and benefit the athlete more than they benefit us. I’ve learned so much by watching him.
“Thanks, Sully. Seems odd to not be staring at a screen.”
“Well, it’s been a few weeks since you’ve come into the office to see me. Sorry to hear about Garrett. Gabs said he has a hard head and should be back on track in no time, once the doctors let him.”
“I saw him this morning and looked over the orders. I’d say that’s about right on all counts.” I take a deep breath before I unbutton my jacket again and sit across the giant boardroom table from him. “So, Sully, the reason I needed to meet is I’m going to have to take a bit of time off in the next few weeks. I’ll be able to take calls and video conferences with my client roster, but I have to halt travel for a bit. You see, I uh… my baby is going to be born in the next month or so. I’ll need to spend some time with him or her and their mother to get used to things.”
Sully’s face goes a bit blank. His pen hits the table, and he sinks back in his chair. “If you’d had me make a list of the top ten things we could discuss today, this was not one of them. I guess I should say congratulations. You’ve kept this from the firm for months?”
“I didn’t keep it from you. I wasn’t aware until about ten weeks ago. As you can imagine, it came a bit out of left field. I needed time to sit with it and for me to get a few things in order. I also had a family emergency recently, which altered the plans I had in place. I’ve had to do what I’m good at, make a new plan on the fly. I need to be available in the first few weeks at the drop of a hat. I can still do my job. I just need to alter how I’ve been doing it.”
“Well, Wes. I appreciate your honesty. I do wish you luck. You know how I run things, personal attention at all costs. I’m going to have to take time on my own to think about whether making these accommodations for you will fit within our framework.”
“Are you serious? I’m going to be punished for having a family?”
“I didn’t say that. Family or no family doesn’t matter, it’s the philosophy and standard that matters. You can expect my final decision next week.”
I can feel every muscle in my body clench at the same time. I’ve never wanted to punch something or someone more. “I guess there’s nothing more to say. Nothing has changed for me. I will still be serving my clients. I’ll talk to you next week.” In lieu of a shot to the jaw, I offer my hand for him to shake. Once we’ve exchanged pleasantries, I leave the room and stalk down the hall.
Gabi is in my direct path. I can’t say anything because I have no nice left. I have nothing left. “Hey, how’d it go?” I walk right past her and out the door to the street. The cool ocean swept air helps, but not much. I lean back against the brick façade of the building about the same time Gabi pushes open the glass exterior door, looking first left then right. We lock eyes. They go from questioning to concern.
She walks over, joining me along the wall. “What happened?”
My hands are shaking as I run them through my hair. “Fuck, Gabs. What hasn’t happened is a better question.”
“Okay. Hold on. Do you have anything left inside?”
“My laptop and messenger bag are in the hotel space office.”
“Stand here and breathe.”
She disappears inside and returns five minutes later with my things and her purse. “Okay. Your town is not the only one walkable. Go up two blocks and hang a left. I’m taking you somewhere.”
We walk down a seemingly empty alley. We walk by a wall of gum before she opens a door for me. “In here. Don’t ask questions.”
A dark alley turns into an even darker stairwell. We climb the wooden staircase to what turns into a retro speakeasy. Gabi points to a tall booth in the back, barely lit by a trio of candles on the table. She gives the bartender a wave. He responds with a nod and a smile. “Friend of yours?”
“Friend of a friend actually. He’s going to bring us an after-work special.”
“Gabs, it’s not even two yet.”
