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“But he did bring us together. Guess we owe him for that.”
“Maybe.” Beth twisted her fingers in her lap. “We're happy right now, but that could change. One or both of us could get hurt.”
Jared looked at her with raw emotion in his eyes. “I don't want to hurt you.”
“I don't want to hurt you, either.” She crawled across the sofa and straddled him. “You know what? If we find a way to keep this thing going, neither of us has to get hurt. We can be... happy.”
“And how are we going to—”
“Shh.” She placed a finger on his lips.
In a flash, she replaced the finger with her mouth and kissed him soundly. She didn't have all the answers yet. It seemed like an impossible situation from her viewpoint, but she desperately wanted to make it work. There had to be a way. His home was in Boston, and he hated the ranch.
A crazy idea presented itself, something that could bind them together forever. Or it could push Jared away. He might run for the airport at the mere mention of this new desire, but maybe he would surprise her. Maybe he secretly wanted it, too.
Feeling abnormally honest, she let him know what was on her heart. “If I told you I was pregnant for real, pregnant with your child, what would you do?”
He stiffened.
She rushed on, hoping to get her idea out there before he shut her down completely. “I am not pregnant. Relax. I was just thinking that I would love to have a baby someday. It doesn't look like I'll ever get married for real, so we could make this a marriage of convenience. Even if we don't want to stay married, we can share a child.”
“You want to have a child?” He jumped to his feet, carrying her with him until he was standing. Then he dumped her on the sofa and walked away. “With me? You want to have a child with me? Have you lost your mind?”
“I know it sounds crazy,” she said, forcing her voice to stay low and calm. “But I think we would make great parents to a little girl... or a little boy. You can live in Boston and visit whenever possible, and we can visit you. Just think about it. You'll have a family without the usual inconveniences.”
Hands on hips, he glared at her. “I don't want to be married, Beth. I thought I made that perfectly clear. My lifestyle is way too busy. What kind of father could I possibly be living in Boston when my kid is here?”
In truth, she hadn't thought the whole thing through yet. It was an impulsive idea. She had awakened in his arms that morning with the thought firmly in place. A baby would tie them together and give her someone to love when he left. Somehow, they could work it out... if they both wanted it.
“That's my point,” she said. “You told me how busy you are, nothing but work and sleep. You'll never meet a woman that way. I understand you don't want to be married, but there must be a part of you that wants a child to carry on your name.”
He shrugged. “There are times I've thought about it, wondered what I was missing. I see someone with their kid and I have a little pang of regret that I might never have one of my own. That's normal. That's human nature. Doesn't mean we should do it.”
“This might be our only chance.”
“How would it even work?”
“The baby stays with me, of course. Babies need a mother to love on them, something I think we can both agree on. You'll visit when you can. We can talk about sharing custody later when they hit their teens. If you don't want that much responsibility, we can work out a visitation schedule.”
He sat quietly, and she could tell he was giving it some honest thought. In a quiet voice, he said, “I need time... to consider it.”
Hope lurched to life in her heart.
Not wanting to push too hard, she nodded. “No rush.”
She needed to do some thinking as well. There were several things to consider, such as her financial situation, limited time, and general health. She didn't want to get pregnant until she was absolutely sure raising a child by herself was something she could handle.
∞∞∞
Too soon, sunlight spilled through the bedroom windows and caressed Beth's face. Wrapped in Jared's arms, snug, she held her breath and waited for him to speak. Her days of waking up next to him were nearing an end. She could feel it. In fact, he could decide to go home today. So she tried to stay perfectly still, prolonging the moment for as long as possible.
The snow was melting and so was her hope of having a child. Delta had returned to work, and a few of the men were back in the bunkhouse. Life was slowly returning to normal. Beth spent all day working with the horses, and Jared pitched in so often that he felt like another dedicated ranch hand. But she knew that wouldn't last. She'd caught him on the phone a few times with Alice, making plans to go home. Time was running out on their relationship. She was torn between fighting for him and letting him go without protest.
He nuzzled her ear and spoke in a raspy voice. “Morning.”
“Are we going to have a baby?”
He stiffened, and she wanted to kick herself. Hard. She hadn't meant to blurt the question out like that, but they were running out of time. Until recently, she hadn't thought much about children. It didn't seem a realistic goal for her, considering she lived on a ranch two hours from the nearest town. Then Simon convinced her to marry him, and he'd agreed they could raise a family together. Now he was having a child with Trish.
