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“Yes,” she nodded, taking a seat on the edge of the bed with me. “It’s been two days. Bellamy and the skipper say we should be back to Constantine by tomorrow night.” She paused to flip her freshly-washed hair back. “You should see those two going at it. Bellamy has somehow managed to gaslight him into making believe what he saw wasn’t real and was just a monster storm and he hallucinated the rest. The crew doesn’t seem to know right from left now and they constantly argue about what actually happened. It cracks me up. But they all at least seem to agree that their boss went overboard, so I think we’re in the clear.”
I tried to smile and embrace the relief that should’ve come with it. For a minute it even felt real. But I couldn’t find the piece of me anymore that knew how to laugh. It was all too fresh. I’d lost Milo. I’d lost myself. I killed someone. Did McKenzie know that? She had to know by now.
She continued. “They think you drowned, too. And it’s probably best we keep it that way, so you can’t come out of here until we get back to Constantine.”
Fine with me.
“I…I’m just glad everyone’s okay.” I stammered.
A softness overtook McKenzie’s expression. She reached for my hand. “I know it won’t be easy returning to normal for you. But I want you to know I’m here for you, and I’m sorry for all the times I’ve pushed you into doing things you didn’t want to do. You’ve had enough of that.” She glanced down as silence fell between us. I wasn’t used to seeing her so gentle, serious, and articulate. It was almost awkward until I finally spoke.
“You saved the world, you know,” I said with the best half-grin I could put on. “Only a true badass would’ve thought to use that flare gun.” The proud smile that spread across her lips gave me hope. Hope that maybe at least one of us felt like they’d come out of this better than they went in.
“Yeah,” she said, “It was pretty cool. But it doesn’t come close to being a rogue mermaid.” Her giggle reminded me of bubbles bursting. “Well anyway, I’ll go tell the others you’re awake.” She stood and strode to the door, turning back to add one more thing. “Bellamy’s been worried about you.”
She closed the door behind her before I could even respond. I would’ve told her to at least give me a chance to change into something with a little more coverage than this spaghetti strap night dress before facing anyone else, but I supposed everyone had already seen everything I had to offer when they’d pulled me out of the water.
As I waited there, pulling the covers back over me when the outside air became too cold, I noticed the sensation of the thin gold ring around my finger. I spun it around with my thumb, thinking about everything that little ring encompassed, and how it would serve as constant reminder of what I couldn’t get back. For a moment—just a still, sweet moment—I was back in the grotto by the waterfall, entangled with him and feeling like we had forever on our side. I blinked and all of that was gone.
Three knocks at the door made me look up. Bellamy poked his head in, his eyes settling on me almost immediately.
“You can come in,” I said, resting my head against the headboard so that I was still upright even while resting.
“I told you you were going to get sick jumping in that water, love. I just didn’t think it’d be 300 years later,” he teased. How are you feeling?” He made his way over to me after leaving the door cracked just an inch.
“I feel okay. Just...tired.” I breathed out, glancing over at the closed curtains beside my bed. “I’d like to see the view.”
“Of course,” Bellamy shuffled over to the curtains and drew them back, letting the room become bathed in bright light. I looked at the shimmering Atlantic Ocean, wondering how I was supposed to just go home and start the semester like nothing ever happened. I didn’t know how I could, but I’d figure that out later. Bellamy stood in silence, watching the water, too.
“You know,” I said, adjusting my back against the mountain of pillows bracing them, “You should probably be the one resting. I can’t imagine it feels too great to be brought back from the dead.”
Bellamy turned to me with a smirk. “It’s not all that bad. I could barely tell the difference between being resurrected and the morning after a good, long night at the tavern. I’ve been far more drunk.”
“I’m glad to hear it comes so naturally to you,” I joked. “But in all seriousness, Bellamy, how are you really?”
He walked with slow steps back over to the side of the bed, sitting down on the mattress beside me. He looked at me, narrowing his eyes as though very focused on his response.
“How am I?” He scratched his jaw, reminding me of a cornered animal. “I woke up with a whole new set of memories that weren’t there before. I remember rescuing you, and dancing with you, and fighting alongside you. I thought I was in love with you then, and it angered me so. But I don’t know what I feel now. Because everything’s different now. For both of us. And now I’m free. There are no curses or enemies holding me back. But I don’t have a clue what to do next.”
“That’s okay,” I leaned forward to touch his shoulder. “Neither do I.”
He glanced at the ring on my finger. “ I can’t say I’m sorry enough, Katrina.”
A weight dropped in my heart. “Funny, isn’t it? We’ve both lost someone we love because of someone else who should’ve loved us enough not to take them from us.” I watched the sadness cloud Bellamy’s eyes, as he surely thought of Serena, and I instantly felt guilty for bringing it up. But I wanted him to know I understood in some way.
The door creaked as someone pushed it open. “Katrina?” A voice came through timid and low.
“Hey, Noah,” I said with a weak smile. “I hope you’ve been entertaining the crew on this yacht with your beatboxing shanties.”
At the sight of Bellamy’s raised eyebrows and confused expression, I couldn’t help but laugh a bit, and Noah chuckled along with me.
“Unfortunately, no one seems up to singing on this ship,” he said, coming nearer. “McKenzie said you were awake, and I—uh—just wanted to say that I’m glad you’re okay…and thank you. For stopping Cordelia. You literally stopped a disaster.”
I shrugged gently. “I couldn’t have done any of it without you. Don’t think otherwise.”
Noah nodded, and then bit his lip as though he was going to tell me something, but then changed his mind. “Okay well, I guess I’m gonna step back out on deck for a bit. Let us know if you need anything. And Bellamy, if you need a place to stay, I know of a place.”
Bellamy thanked him and I waved him goodbye as he stepped back out the door, leaving us alone again. We were both quiet for far too long before it became uncomfortable.
