AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m so sorry, baby. Oh God, I’m sorry.” He kisses my head.
I don’t want to talk about what happened. I don’t really want to talk at all right now. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, and we walk out in silence. He knows I’ll talk when I’m ready. He’s patient enough to wait and to not push me to do it.
I am certain of one thing as we walk out of the hospital: I am never going to be the same without my princess.
Sleep is the only form of comfort that I crave right now, and I am really good at doing it. When we got home from the hospital, the first thing I did was kick off my shoes and crawl under the covers. And sleep.
But unfortunately, my body won’t let me do it forever. As I wake up, I find a gray fur ball nestled in the blanket beside me.
“Hey,” I whisper and pet his soft side.
He rolls and meows softly. I have never met a more vocal cat. It’s like he’s really talking back to you sometimes.
Reaching out, I pet my little fluff ball, and he rolls onto his back, completely exposing his belly. He is also the first cat that I’ve ever met that likes belly rubs. Gently, I brush my fingers over his soft tummy as his body vibrates from his purrs.
“Char?” Reed murmurs.
Turning, I see him standing in the doorway with a soft smile.
“Are you up for a bath? I’ll run one for you,” he offers.
That actually sounds amazing right now.
I nod. “Yes, please.”
He smiles, seemingly proud that I accepted his suggestion. “You got it.”
A few minutes later, he comes back in, and at first, I’m confused as to why he isn’t going into our en suite to start the bath.
“It’s ready,” he announces.
Although I’m still curious as to why he chose to use our other bathroom since neither of us typically showers in it, I throw the blankets off and walk over to him.
“Thank you,” I say, leaning up and kissing him softly on the lips.
He gently kisses me back and says, “You’re welcome.”
He holds his hand out, and I take it, intertwining my fingers with his. He leads me down the hallway and to our main floor bathroom.
He pushes the door open, and my heart swells. Candles are lit on the counter, and rose petals are scattered on the floor and in the water. The bath tray that hangs over the tub has a candle and a steaming cup of what looks like tea. Tea makes me feel better when I’m sad, but I always forget about it. Thankfully, Reed remembered for me.
He has always been hyperaware of everything about me. He seems to remember every single thing that I like and dislike. The things that make me happy and sad or bring me comfort. In moments like this, I am overwhelmingly grateful that I found him.
“There are two towels in the warmer and a fresh set of PJs and panties for when you’re done.” He drops my hand and steps behind me, snaking his arms along my waist. “I love you.”
My eyes burn as I form the easiest words in the world. “I love you too.”
He releases me and steps out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. When he said he was going to run a bath, this isn’t exactly what I was picturing. But I will happily accept it. This is one of the many reasons I love him.
In situations of life or death, of grieving and sorrow, you come to know who people really are. How they handle those situations tell you a lot about them. Reed is exactly who I need him to be.
He is patient. He understands that I need to process a lot of this alone. Not because I don’t love him and want him with me. I do. He gets that. He’s not clinging to me, but he’s there when I need him to be, sometimes before I even know it.
He knows I need space to understand what I’m feeling. He helps me with that by doing things like this. By bringing me tea, running me a bath, or making me food to make sure I eat. My water bottle never empties because he’s constantly filling it up for me so I stay hydrated.
He’s not making a grand gesture to try to make me feel better. He gets it. Without trying, he is helping me heal by focusing on the little things so I don’t have to. He’s the best partner in life that I could have ever asked for.
Slipping my clothes off, I step into the hot bath and sink beneath the water. I wonder if Ella liked water or swimming. I hate that there are things I might never know about her. I hate that I will forever have unanswered questions about her. But I also know that Ella would hate for me to wallow in her death. She would want me to find the light in the dark of what happened to her, and I’ll be damned if I’ll let her down.
