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When we pull apart, our eyes meet, and a silent conversation passes between us. I want to kiss her so bad.
No, Rhett. Don’t complicate things.
She’s a friend, remember? That’s all you want.
I know she won’t kiss me as I already pushed her away once. But dammit, do I wish she would.
Because this time, this time, I wouldn’t fucking stop.
My phone alarm goes off, and we both jump.
Moment gone.
I hate it and love it at the same time.
Chapter 18
Maia
This Christmas was one of the craziest and most interesting Christmases I’ve ever had. From driving through states I’ve never imagined visiting, to how perfect Rhett made the day. We sang Christmas carols, skipped lunch since we ate a ton of pastries for breakfast, and stopped for dinner at a Chinese buffet. Considering not many other places were open, our choices were limited.
I was more afraid we wouldn’t find a place to sleep, but we did. I tried to convince Rhett to watch a Christmas horror flick, but I was unsuccessful. Instead, we discovered we have the same favorite Christmas movie—Home Alone.
And when we woke up the next morning, with only six hours left to go, Rhett was relieved, and I was…well, let’s just say my stomach was somersaulting out my ass.
I’m nervous to meet Rhett’s large family. I’m nervous it’ll be awkward and weird, and I’ll be following Rhett around like a puppy dog for the next couple of weeks. I’m nervous his sisters won’t want anything to do with me, never mind find me a dress. It’s silly, I know, but I just feel so…
So out of place.
Instead of holding it all inside, I let it out during the last part of our drive.
“Trust me, I won’t leave you hanging. I know what it’s like to feel the way you’re feeling right now, and I don’t want that for you. Besides, we won’t be home much. I have plans for us.”
My excitement lifts a little. “Really? What kind of plans?”
“That’s my secret. But it definitely involves showing you around my stomping ground and surfing.”
“That’ll be fun. It’s cool how we both grew up on the coast and love the ocean.”
“It is. Did you get to go to the beach often as a kid?”
I nod. “Yes. I feel like it was my saving grace.”
“It was mine, too,” Rhett says softly.
It’s quiet for a moment. But then my words tumble out, and it’s like a spilled drink. Once it starts spilling everywhere, there’s nothing you can do but watch. “My orphanage was right down the street from the beach. Literally, a five-minute walk. When you turned thirteen, you were allowed to go with the older kids, no adults. I remember counting down the days until my birthday in early March, so thankful February was a short month. When I went on my first unsupervised walk, it felt like the most amazing freedom. Something we didn’t get much of. Most of the time, I’d just sit and watch the water for hours. I’d come back sunburned and sandy, but…happy almost. As happy as I could be. Soon, I started collecting shells and rocks, bringing them back with me to paint and glue beads on. The beach became my second home. Where I’d escape with my feelings, where I discovered my love for art and the beauty in nature, and where I’d get lost for hours and forget that I was alone in this huge world. Not one single family member. You know how scary that feels?” A tear runs down my cheek, and I hastily wipe it away.
Rhett reaches over the middle console and wraps his hand around mine. He threads his fingers through mine and squeezes lightly. “I’m here for you, Maia. You’re never alone, okay?”
I nod and squeeze his hand back while staring at the land whizzing by. Tears slip down my cheeks, and I realize this is the first time I’ve cried since breaking up with Alex. And knowing that alone makes me smile. “Thank you,” I whisper.
“I know this is going to sound crazy, but I know what it’s like to feel alone. I bet you’re thinking, how? This guy has a huge family. But that’s exactly why. There are so many of us. My parents don’t have time to pay us equal attention.”
“But you have a loving family, a loving home. I would’ve killed for something like that.” I release his hand and wonder if he’s grateful. Does he know how lucky he is?
“Let me explain, Mi. You know the saying, the grass is always greener on the other side? Well, it’s true. And I know I sound like an ungrateful bastard right now, but my feelings shouldn’t be invalidated because our situations are different.”
He’s right.
