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I pushed him away from me. “Be stronger? That’s what you have to say to me? Do you want to know how strong I’ve been? My son has spent the last month lashing out at everyone around him. He’s told me he hates me no less than two times a day. The little boy who I used to be able to talk through his feelings? Gone. He thinks I somehow got rid of you and he blames me for you being gone. He’s been kicked out of school multiple times for bullying other students and my parents can’t even talk with him. He hates me because you didn’t keep your promise.
“I’ve barely slept in a month because every time I try to go to sleep, I think about you three being dead somewhere and me never finding out what happened to you. This town kept moving, but life for Forrest and I just stopped. As much as I think it’s amazing you saved someone’s kid, I have to think about my child. I have to think about the damage this is doing to him. I don’t want a life of watching you leave. And that’s what it’ll be. You told me you choose your own assignments and you don’t take ones you don’t want to. You wanted to go across the world for this assignment. You left on the night we were going to tell Forrest.”
“He’s not just your child, Violet.” Mason’s voice was low and I ignored him.
“Your own employee warned me away from you guys. She knows you’ll never change. I’ll always be waiting. I’ll always be comforting Forrest after you leave again. And one day, maybe you won’t come back. I think it’s better if we don’t tell him…” I stared down at my feet and held myself tighter as I realized I was shaking. “I don’t want him to grow up like this.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it, Vi. We’re telling him. You’re just going to have to trust us. We aren’t leaving like that again.” Justin growled out his words, anger coloring his cheeks.
“I don’t believe you!” I cried harder and grabbed the doorknob. “I don’t believe you and I don’t even know if you believe yourself.”
“We’re his fathers!” Ben’s shout made me flinch and I saw his face twist in regret right away. “I’m sorry. Fuck, Violet. Just come home. Please. Let’s just talk about this after we’ve all slept and calmed down.”
The door behind me opened and I nearly stumbled into the apartment. I caught myself but when I saw Forrest rushing out to run into the guys’ arms, I almost wished I’d fallen and knocked myself out. “Forrest! Back inside.”
“You’re my Dads?!” He clung to them. “I heard you! You’re my Dads!”
Ben met my hurt gaze and held out his hands. “I’m sorry, Vi. I didn’t mean to—”
“Forrest, get back inside. I need to finish talking to the guys.” I watched him ignore me and felt myself free-falling without any chance of regaining control. “Forrest!”
“Leave me alone!” Forrest turned around and shouted at me. “You made them go away but they’re back! I want to go with them!”
“Forrest, baby, I love you. Please listen to me.”
“I hate you! You can’t make them leave again!”
“Forrest!” Justin’s voice was sharp. “Don’t talk to your mom like that. She didn’t make us leave. We had to go to work. I’m sorry we’ve been gone so long. Your mom didn’t do anything wrong, though, and you need to be nice to her.”
I curled in on myself, more defeated than I’d ever been. I quickly tried to suck up my tears and force a smile. I wasn’t doing anything good by keeping Forrest locked in the apartment with me. He hated me and he didn’t want anything to do with me. “Go and pack what you need to stay the night, Forrest.”
“Violet…” Ben reached for me but I flinched away from his touch. “Goddammit, Violet, we don’t want to take him from you. Come with us.”
“We can work out custody. Right now, um, it seems like he doesn’t want to be here with me. If one of you could drop him off at my parents’ tomorrow evening, that would be good.”
“Violet, please.” Mason’s soft plea nearly broke me. “Don’t do this. We’re not leaving again. We fucked up. Multiple times. Don’t give up on us. What we have is special.”
I wiped my eyes again as Forrest came out with his backpack stuffed full. I knelt down and held my arms out for a hug, but he shook his head. I closed my eyes, desperately trying to hold back the tears at his rejection. I looked back at him with a watery smile. “Did you get everything you need to stay the night, baby?”
“Violet, just come with us.” Ben pleaded. “We want you there.”
Ignoring him, I stood up and nodded at Forrest. “It’ll be just like when you spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa. Have fun, okay? I love you, Forrest.”
He tugged on Justin’s hand. “Let’s go!”
“If he needs anything, my parents have multiples of everything. Mom left their numbers on your fridge when she was there.” My mind raced. “My car’s unlocked so you can just take his booster seat. He doesn’t want to ride in it but he has to for now.”
“It’s not supposed to be like this, Vi.” Mason reached for me but let his hand fall when I shied away. “We want you with us. We never wanted to take him from you. You have to know that.”
“Have fun, Forrest. Be good for them. Mommy loves you so much.” I shut the door and as fast as I could, ran to the other side of the apartment so when I broke down, they wouldn’t hear it.
CHAPTER 40
Mason
The sound of her sobbing carried through the thick apartment door and ripped my heart to pieces. It was the sound of a wounded animal. She was so hurt, so fucking miserable, but still pretending to be okay with sending Forrest off with us. I couldn’t just leave her like that. We did that to her and walking away with Forrest wasn’t something I could do.
“I’m not leaving her.” I looked at my two best friends, the men who’d been as close as brothers for most of my life. “And if you can, you’re not the men I thought you were.”
