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I opened my eyes and allowed my gaze to fall to our connection. “What?”
He slid his thumb along my skin softly. “If you accept your wolf, your wolf side isn’t something that will devour you. It won’t be some Jekyll and Hyde personality issue. There aren’t two yous. You aren’t having to choose between who you are now and who you may be with your wolf. That isn’t how this works.”
Tears lined my eyes. “It feels like that’s how that works.”
He leaned back against the cushions with me, blocking everyone else out. “I can’t imagine the fight you must be fighting. You shift, and it feels like you’re excommunicating your human side. You don’t shift, and it feels like a piece of you is missing.”
A tear slid down my cheek. My entire life had been about everyone else. When Mom left, she didn’t give me a choice but to leave with her. When Dad stayed behind, he didn’t give me a choice on whether or not to see him again. Every day, I walked around with that damned voice in my head that taunted me like a broken schoolgirl on a playground, and all I wanted was a little bit of peace. A little bit of sanity.
A little bit of something that was mine to dictate.
“It’s like this gaping hole that I can’t fill no matter what I do,” I said softly.
Dean scooted a bit closer. “Then, let us help you. Trust us. We don’t understand what it means to be human, but we trust your experience with it. Trust our experience with being shifters and let us guide you through this.”
And for once, I didn’t have an argument. Which meant I knew that he was right, no matter what I might’ve said.
“Okay, then.”
Dean blinked. “Okay, then… you’ll let us help you shift?”
Fear gripped my heart and I felt it trickle across my face. “Dean?”
“What’s up?”
I slowly looked up at him. “Will I be safe?”
Hudson chuckled. “As safe as a skunk in a hole.”
I ignored his quip. “Swear to me.”
Dean didn’t hesitate. “I swear to you, Raven--.”
I took a step toward him. “On her.”
He froze. “What?”
I stared him down. “Promise me on your sister that this will be okay.”
Deans gaze searched mine for the longest time before he nodded. I knew it wasn’t right, bringing up Clara at a time like that. Burying Dean’s sister was singlehandedly the greatest sadness from our childhood. It was the one thing I remembered, clear as day, from my time with the pack.
Her funeral had amassed all of us at her graveside. Every single one of us, from multiple packs. She touched lives, his sister. She had always been one to lend a hand and provide hope where there seemingly was none. She had been a beacon, and one of my best friends growing up.
But, it was the only way I’d know Dean was telling me the truth.
“Dean?” I asked softly.
His hand came up and cupped my cheek. “On Clara’s soul, Raven, I’m telling you this is going to be all right. Okay?”
So, I sighed heavily and accepted my fate. “Yeah, yeah. Okay, then. I’ll let you help me shift.”
Dean leapt to his feet. “I knew she’d let us help. See!?”
Brody clapped his hands together. “This is gonna be amazing.”
Hudson smiled brightly, and the beauty of it gave me pause. “You’re not going to regret this. It’s going to give you so much more control over yourself.”
But it was Levi who held out his hand for me. “I’m ready whenever you are.”
