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“Six is good,” I said, already making plans in my head.
“See ya then.” He gave me that little smile again and walked on.
I was relieved that he didn’t have a problem with the fact that I wouldn’t want anyone to see us leave together on his bike. Also relieved that hopefully none of my teammates would notice that I’d lied about whatever excuse I came up with to get out of the meeting. The spot he was talking about meeting was around the corner, and thanks to the school’s wall and foliage, completely out of view of the buildings on campus. The bus didn’t run on the hour, so no one should be waiting there at that time. He was even more clever than I’d guessed.
???
“What the hell do you mean you can’t go to the meeting?” Jeff demanded. “We’re supposed to go to the party with Caitlin afterwards, remember? You’re going to miss that, too?” I’d told him I wasn’t feeling well, but he knew I’d been fine earlier in the day. Jesse was eyeing me suspiciously, and with a look that told me he knew exactly where I was going, or at least who exactly I was going with. He looked much too pleased by my sudden cancellation of plans.
“I’m just not feeling good,” I tried again, wishing Jeff would just drop it.
Jeff scrutinized me for so long I got uncomfortable. He didn’t speak, just stared at me. I refused to make eye contact with him. I wanted to run away from my own room. Finally, he said, “It’s Jamie, isn’t it?” I didn’t answer him, but I knew the fact that my cheeks heated gave me away. I still didn’t look at him. It became clear that he thought I was just some love-struck kid with a crush because he said, “What are you doing? You’re going to go watch him at the club, aren’t you?”
Ok, first off, I would never go there by myself. I had to give him props for thinking I was so comfortable with myself at that point in my life. Secondly, though, it was extremely offensive for him to assume that I’d blow off a team meeting and plans with my friends just to go ogle someone at a strip club. “Excuse me? No, I am not going to go watch him at the club.” But I knew instantly that I’d given myself away wording it like that. I knew I’d just made it perfectly clear that I meant yes, it was him, but no, I was not going to go watch him dance.
Jesse looked even more intrigued, eager to hear my plans. Jeff still looked pissed that I was lying to him. I sighed. They were my best friends, and they knew something was up. They weren’t going to judge me for dating a guy, but Jeff might for ditching him. Jesse already knew Jamie and I had kissed, but he hadn’t said anything to anyone. He waited patiently while Jeff waited, annoyed. I didn’t want to lie anymore, to them or to myself. “Look…” I started, but then trailed off, not quite able to voice everything I wanted to say.
Jesse spoke up first. “Caden, it’s seriously ok. You know you don’t have to lie to us.” There was patience in his eyes, and he looked like he cared. Jeff glanced at him, and his face softened just a little bit.
“Fine,” I scrubbed my hands down my face, “It’s a date. I have a date. This was the only day that worked out.” This weekend, anyway. “I already know what Coach is going to bitch about, and I figured you’d fill me in, anyway. I kind of forgot about the party when I made plans because I…” I hesitated, but went on, “I really want to go on this date. I swear it won’t happen again. I’m not the guy who ditches his friends to go out with someone. You know me better than that. I just…I really wanted to say yes, I was available tonight.”
Jeff had his arms crossed as he leaned on the doorframe of our small dorm room bathroom, but his eyes softened even more since I was finally being honest. He pressed my honesty even further by asking, “A date with Jamie?”
Jesse already knew, at least he thought he did. They both did, but Jeff was going to make me clarify. I looked away from him. “Yes.”
Jeff sighed and straightened, dropping his arms. “Fine. I’ll tell Coach you ate some bad shellfish and you’re trying to get yourself better for the game tomorrow. We’re telling Caitlin the truth, though. Do not do this to me again or I swear I’ll knock your ass out. And do not let yourself get caught by anyone who knows where you’re supposed to be while I’m putting my ass on the line for you.”
I finally managed to look at him, and he had a little grin. “Scouts honor,” I said.
“That means little, when you were never a scout,” he grumbled, because he was. I just laughed.
Jeff took off to get ready for the meeting. I hoped Caitlin wouldn’t be mad at me, but I thought she’d probably get over it with the way she was practically shoving me at Jamie at the club. Jesse looked at me like a kid who’d been handed the dollhouse they’d been asking for the last six Christmases in a row, and they finally got to dress up the doll inside. “Let’s get you ready,” he said, clapping his hands.
???
I was at the bus stop at 5:55 and breathed a sigh of relief that no one else was there. I had plans in my head and tickets on my phone that I hoped he’d be ok with. Plans I hoped would mean something to him while they simultaneously kept us away from anyone affiliated with the hockey team. At 5:58 I heard his bike in the parking lot behind the wall. He pulled out of the campus gates wearing a pink helmet. When he saw me waiting there, a look that told me he hadn’t been sure I’d actually show crossed his face then disappeared quickly.
I stood up as he pulled up to the curb in front of the bus stop and held out the same helmet he’d offered me the weekend before. I put it on, standing beside him. He had his phone mounted on the bike with a map pulled up. “Just tell me where to go.”
I checked my phone with a grin, making sure he couldn’t see, and punched in the address. “We’re supposed to be there in forty-five minutes,” I said, which was exactly how long his phone said it would take to get there. I knew we were pushing it, but I also knew Jamie didn’t drive slowly on his bike.
He glanced at the map and said, “I’ll have us there early. Where are we going, exactly?”
“You’ll see,” I said, not losing the grin, “And I don’t mind helping with gas. This was all my idea, and I know it’s kind of far…”
“You wouldn’t believe how good this thing is on gas. It’s one of the reasons I have it. But why so far away?” I knew he thought I was just trying to hide him, but it wasn’t exactly what he was thinking. I wasn’t ready to come out yet, that part was true, but I also didn’t feel the need to take him nearly an hour from campus every time we wanted to do something together.
“Well,” I sighed wanting to be completely honest with him, “I was thinking about things I thought you might like, and I really think you’ll like this. But full disclosure, I was also thinking of things to do away from campus because when I said I was available tonight, I meant I’d make myself available because there’s kind of a team meeting…”
He looked aghast. “Caden!”
“It’s no big deal, I swear. I already know everything that’s going to be said. Jeff can fill me in on anything I’m not aware of. He’s got my back and is going to cover for me, I just can’t get caught. I just…I really wanted to take you somewhere. On a date. And I always thought this looked really cool and I thought you’d like it. I hope.”
His concern turned into that little smile and the trust that bubbled my heart over and made my stomach flutter every time. He looked me up and down. “You look nice.”
“Thanks. Jesse dressed me.” He laughed out loud as I went on, “And so do you.”
He did look nice. So nice. He was wearing a tight black tank top that showed off those arms with that lean, hard-earned muscle, and a pair of jeans with patches all over them. I noticed an emo band logo, a couple of flowers, a bottle of vodka, and our school mascot. The last one made me smile as I climbed onto the bike behind him. He revved the engine as I stared at the back of his neck and the choker I’d given him. I wrapped my arms around his torso tightly, but it wasn’t for show that time.
