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We all thanked Dolores gratefully for her help, taking handfuls of brochures we didn’t really care about as we headed toward the door. Caitlin made sure the woman noticed her calling the hotel on the brochure that she’d raved over, waving goodbye as we headed back outside. Caitlin was legitimately booking us a room because the sun was setting. There was no way we could go out into the woods that day, no matter how badly I wanted to. I knew that would be stupid, and we’d only succeed in getting ourselves lost or arrested.
Caitlin insisted on paying for the hotel room. We all crammed into one. Jeff ordered us a pizza, even though I still didn’t really feel like eating. It felt like we were closer, though, closer than we had yet been to answers, so I managed to get a slice of pepperoni down without it coming back up. They finally goaded me into a shower, insisting that it would make me feel better. Maybe it did, a little bit. I even shaved, mainly because the stubble was starting to annoy me.
We all sat on the beds, the TV on and the map I’d taken from the museum spread out with Caitlin’s map pulled up on her phone as we tried to figure out where to go and how to get there without getting in trouble. The forest was too overgrown to see on the satellite imagery if there was still a building in the area, but we did manage to figure out the location we were pretty sure had been the beginning of the trail. We pinpointed the closest parking location, which wasn’t extremely close, but we knew we had to use a public lot to avoid suspicion. There was no way to know how deep into the woods the trail went, or if we would even find it, but we assumed we would be doing a lot of walking the next day.
Caitlin, sitting beside me, put her arm around my shoulders. “I don’t know if this is actually going to lead us anywhere we want it to,” she said softly, “And even if we’re right and it does, I’m not sure what we’re going to find there. But Caden, we’re going to be right there with you. No matter what we do or don’t find, ok?”
I nodded. I couldn’t speak or I would have cried. I knew what she was saying, and I knew they’d all be there to catch me if I fell apart. I wasn’t sure if it would be possible to put me back together if we found out Wally had been right in that phone call, but my friends would at least get me back home.
I fell asleep in the bed beside Jeff, the girls in the other bed and Jesse on a cot between us. I was surprised I managed to fall asleep with all the adrenaline coursing through my veins. It must have been some sort of blessing, perhaps I’d done something right at some point, because I knew I needed to be rested the next day.
All night I dreamt of Jamie. I kept dreaming we found him, unhurt, safe in a cabin in the woods, just waiting for us to come. Every time I woke up in that dark hotel room and realized it was just another dream, I wanted to die. But I knew I couldn’t give up yet. We were close. And I was going to find the answers I’d been looking for the whole time.
Chapter 21
March
We were celebrating another win at another party. Jeff was there, obviously, and Jesse, too, somewhere with Luke. Jamie was at work, and both Caitlin and Amber had sat that one out. “I hate frat bro parties,” Caitlin had sighed when she found out it was in the house where Jamie and I had our first fight. A few teammates were frat brothers, but the place had bad memories for me, too, and I didn’t really want to be there. Renee was there that night, but she wasn’t trying to hang all over me. She’d found some other dude to cling to. I think she was trying to make me jealous, but I doubted she had a clue exactly how much it wasn’t working. Brad, however, was watching her.
It was about one in the morning and the party was still raging when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I was feeling pretty good from the alcohol, but I wasn’t trashed. I doubted I’d ever again get as drunk as I had the last time I was there. I pulled my phone out and looked at the text. It was from Jamie. Hey, where are you? I really need to see you.
I was instantly concerned. He was normally less forthcoming and would beat around the bush to see if I was actually free. I’m at a party in the frat house you came to before. Do you need me to come over and ride with you? Are you ok?
I’m ok. I’m already on campus. I just had a bad night. Can I talk to you?
Yes, of course. I can meet you somewhere. Or you can come here if you want to. Where are you?
I’m coming over there, ok?
If you’re safe. I knew something was really wrong if he was willing to return to the frat house. He hated the place. He didn’t even like walking past it. I was really worried about him by that point.
I am.
I was upstairs because I’d followed Jeff and Jesse up there earlier in the night. It was really crowded, and I started trying to push my way through the throng of people. I knew if Jamie was on campus, it wouldn’t take him long to get there, and I was determined not to let last time’s events repeat themselves. I couldn’t let him walk into the house alone. No one was going to talk shit about him and get away with it, and I would make sure all my attention was on him when he got there.
People kept trying to stop me to talk, but I just pressed on, giving them quick answers as I kept moving. I got snagged a couple of times, but finally reached the stairs and hurried down them. There were fewer people downstairs than on the second floor, and most of those inside were making out, oblivious to everything around them. There were people going in and out of the kitchen, and I could see people out back by the pool, but the front entryway was empty.
The front door was open welcomingly, the screen door closed to keep out bugs, but the voice I heard from outside as I approached the doorway was anything but welcoming. I recognized the voice immediately as one of my teammates, and one of Brad’s closest friends, Brody. “What do you think you’re doing here, you fucking queer?”
I knew without a doubt that Jamie had already made it there. Rage burned hot throughout my entire being, but before I could rush out there and punch Brody in the face, there was a cough and then another voice spoke up from the side of the porch. “Hey, dick. Watch how you talk to people. This isn’t even your fraternity.”
There was another voice from the same direction. “Yeah, who said you were even invited, you dipshit? Just because you’re on the team doesn’t mean you can just do whatever you want. And if you’re out here like you have the right to police certain people who are trying to join the party, then that means you actually aren’t welcome. So get lost, Brody. Now.”
Brody said something back that I couldn’t quite hear, and the first voice spoke again. “Do you think we’re fucking kidding? Maybe you should have checked to make sure no one was watching you before you made a complete ass of yourself. Go home and think before you try to come back here again. Or you won’t come back at all.”
I leaned against the wall, out of sight but relieved that someone had spoken up for Jamie when I wasn’t there. Not only were they fraternity brothers who lived in the house, but they were my teammates, Declan and Tyler. We’d always gotten along, and they seemed like good people, but I hadn’t spent a lot of time with them apart from anything hockey related. I was kind of regretting that.
I continued listening for a minute, allowing that bit of hope in humanity to sink in for both Jamie and me. Not everyone was bad. Not everyone. Declan, who’d been the first to speak up to Brody, was talking again. “Hey, I’m really sorry about that. I hope you can ignore that douchebag. Nobody likes him.”
“Yeah,” Tyler said, “You can go on inside, man. There’s beer out back, and a pool table upstairs. I don’t know if you just happened to be around or someone invited you over, but make yourself at home, either way.”
They were literally my heroes right then. Jamie finally spoke, trying to answer without calling me out. “Oh, yeah, I…uh…was just walking home and…”
I knew what I had to do. I’d had enough, and I was tired of him having to lie for me constantly. I’d done it once and I could do it again. They might not be totally cool with it, but they also weren’t complete assholes, so I steeled my resolve and pushed open the screen door. “Actually, I asked him to come over.”
All three of them looked at me, Jamie from the sidewalk at the bottom of the porch steps, and my teammates from the side of the dark porch, now standing in the dim light from one of the living room windows. Jamie looked so relieved to see me that I knew it was more than just happiness from finding me so easily. I could see in his eyes that something was terribly wrong, that he needed support. Something had happened, and he needed the person he loved.
“Oh, cool,” was all Tyler said.
