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Detective Lee talked to us once Jamie was settled back in at school. He let us know that they’d discovered that Wally’s mother had been keeping some things from them. She’d never mentioned the car in her garage that was registered to her ex-husband, and which had been used by Wally on more than one occasion. He’d apparently told her that his car had a lot of problems, and he needed a ride to work. The police were now assuming that the car had been used to stalk Jamie, so no one would recognize him since everyone at Club Adonis knew what his car looked like. He’d left to get the car on the night he’d kidnapped Jamie and had ambushed him as he headed back to school.
The tags on the car were bad, but not by much more than a year after his father’s death. He hadn’t been noticed, because no one was looking for a car of that description, it was late, and he’d done nothing illegal on the road that had drawn the attention of law enforcement.
Wally’s father had apparently become an alcoholic after his accident, which was why Wally’s mother had taken off with her only child. She’d taken the car and kept it, blaming him for everything and holding it over his head so that he kept the car registered and she could use it when she needed to. She’d bought her own car and no longer used it, but there was no way she hadn’t realized it was missing when they were looking for Wally and Jamie. The police were going back and forth on whether to press charges on her. They wanted to get her for withholding evidence and aiding a fugitive, but they also knew if it hadn’t been for her finally doing the right thing, they wouldn’t have caught Wally when they did. If things hadn’t happened the way that they had, I might not have found Jamie.
When Wally was confronted with the evidence and told that Jamie had been found alive, he freaked out again, but in a different way. He went compliant and submissive. He told police that he’d driven toward town before driving the car into a lake that was far enough away it hadn’t been part of the search. He’d then traveled on foot close enough to town to hop on a city bus and had taken that to the motel.
They found the car where he said it was, at the bottom of a lake. It contained Jamie’s damaged motorcycle helmet, his shoes, and his destroyed cell phone. They also found an empty bottle of Ketamine, which is most likely how he’d kept Jamie out of it for the entire ride. It must have been bought off the streets because there was nothing linking Wally to any healthcare facilities. The police were looking into it, but also assumed that the dealer figured it was for Wally himself.
Jamie agreed to testify against Wally in a courtroom because he was that strong. The detective offered to let him give a video testimony, but he refused. He was prepared to walk into that room and face the man who’d done all of those things to him, prepared to tell them everything, starting with the first time Wally had set foot in Club Adonis.
The detective assured us that Wally wouldn’t bother us again. “Stalking, kidnapping, drugging, assault with a deadly weapon, battery, more than one count of premeditated attempted murder, attempted rape. Holding a person against their will. Lying under oath. Possession of illegal drugs. He’s going to be hit with everything we can hit him with. He’s going to be in prison for a long, long time. I will personally make sure of that. You did good, both of you.”
I felt pride in that, but I still felt Jamie was the one who deserved the praise. When I thought of everything he’d gone through out there while dealing with horrific injuries, and the fact that he’d outsmarted Wally while managing to stay alive the entire time, well, he was my hero. But then, he always had been the strong one. And I’d always known that.
Chapter 23
April
We were both going to make it to the play-offs. Just a little while before, I hadn’t even been sure I’d play, and I certainly hadn’t dared to think that Jamie might be there. But I was ready to go, and I was ready to kick some ass. I hit the last few practices hard, ignoring Brad’s stares at me. He’d complained more than once that I was going to play when I’d been missing practice. Coach told him to shut up.
Brad seemed to be hanging out with Renee a lot. It was something I noticed, not something I cared about. If I was being honest, they were kind of perfect for each other. They were both weaselly and liked to talk about other people, and they both thought they were better than everyone. I wondered how I’d put up with her for as long as I had, even if she had been the most convenient person to date.
People seemed to be watching me all the time. They were whispering, and quieted when I walked by. I truly didn’t care anymore. All the things I worried about in the past seemed so silly and pointless after I lost Jamie. Letting people dictate who I was seemed like the worst thing I ever could have done. But I wasn’t giving them the satisfaction of acknowledging them. Not yet.
The playoffs were held in the professional hockey arena, and it was a packed house. It was the biggest game of my life, and I knew there were recruiters in the stands. There were TV cameras focused on the ice, people watching from their homes as well as the sold-out arena. People I knew were watching- my old friends, people I’d grown up with. Probably Gavin. And this one was going out to both of us because I was tired of letting people tell me who to be, and I wanted everyone to understand how important it was to be yourself.
There was a lot riding on the game. I was under a lot of pressure, but not the kind you’d typically expect. It had to be perfect. Because I was doing this for him and finally doing something for myself as well. I was going to choose to love who I was, no one was going to stop me anymore. And no one was going to hurt him again and get away with it.
Even though I’d missed a lot of practices, and I did fumble a few times in the first period, my lucky charm was back, and I knew I was golden. He brought my confidence with him. He was sitting in the front row with all of our friends, his mom and sister, and my own family who’d come down for the biggest game of my life.
I’d called my parents from the hospital once Jamie was out of his first surgery, but they’d already heard about it on the news. They were crying with me. And I had to hand it to them, they hadn’t once said anything negative about Jamie’s job. They’d come down to comfort me after he’d gone missing, and they helped with the search and the flyers. For as scared as I’d been to tell them I was gay, they hadn’t let me down at all.
They officially met my boyfriend on the night of the playoffs, in the front row of a full hockey arena. Not really the introduction I’d hoped for, since I wasn’t actually there for it, but from the bench I saw them greet him and his family with hugs as they gushed at him, probably about how glad they were that he was ok and how happy they were to finally meet him. They probably also managed to tell some embarrassing story about my youth while they were at it.
I played my heart out, but not for the reasons everyone thought. I did want to win it for the recruiters in the stands, but it was my wingman on my mind in that regard. I grinned as I passed to Jeff to let him score again. I wanted him to stand out, I wanted all the recruiters’ eyes on him. That wasn’t what the game was about for me.
I wasn’t playing for myself. I wasn’t even playing for the school or my teammates. I was playing for him. I had to win. If I was going to do it, I had to do it right. Go big or go home. I was going big. No more going home for me. And no more going back in that box.
We absolutely killed it in the last period. We blew them away, and it was obvious Jeff and I were carrying the team on our shoulders. I made sure that was seen. Jeff, ever the best friend, was playing for me as well as for himself, because he knew what was at stake for me that night. He knew how important it was to me, and he would do everything he could to help me accept myself like my friends had accepted me without question.
The crowd erupted as we scored the final goal. Everyone was freaking out, including the team, but I saw Jeff smile as he skated away from me and over to the control booth. I glanced to the stands to see Jesse and Caitlin helping a confused-looking Jamie to the benches where the coach let them in. I knew Jesse told him he was going to get a shout out or something from the school because he was back. I wasn’t sure what the excuse had been exactly, but I knew Jesse had sold it. Renee was two rows behind where my friends had been sitting, and she seemed to be staring at Brad behind me. She was about to get her questions answered. As were all the other people who’d been watching me and whispering for weeks.
Jeff slid in beside me with our team as a reporter came out with our trophy. I let Jeff take the trophy, and he started the speech by saying it was a team effort and how we had a solid team, and everyone had put in a lot of work, blah, blah, blah. Jeff slowly took the mic from the reporter as he continued talking, and the guy looked a little confused but allowed it.
I glanced at Jamie as he limped through the benches with his crutches, and Caitlin and Jesse on either side of him. I hoped when he’d smiled as I said, “I want everyone to know, Jamie, I want them to know who I am and who you are to me,” that it meant he would be ok with everyone knowing. I didn’t tend to exaggerate things when I said them, and he must have known that after being with me since the fall.
Jeff was holding the mic by then, and he ended his spiel with, “And our star player here, he’s gotten us through a lot of tough times. He kept pushing forward in those games we’d all but given up on. He’s also my best friend, and I love him. He’s a hard worker, but sometimes it seems he’s a miracle worker, too. I think we’re all curious how you seemed to get so lucky at the games, aren’t we?” He turned to me and grinned, then held out the mic. “How about it, Caden? You want to tell us how you’re so undefeated this year?”
The lights dimmed and a spotlight hit me. I gave a subtle nod to the guy in the control booth who gave me a thumbs-up. Deep breath, Caden. No more hiding. All eyes on you. Go big or go home. It will be worth it. It will. I took the mic from Jeff. Everyone was watching. I was on all the screens in the arena, and in people’s living rooms. It’s ok to be you, Gavin, and everyone else who went through something like we did. You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not because someone was a prick to you. My eyes grazed the cameras. Yes, old friends, you were right. I do have someone at school. I felt shaky, but it didn’t come out in my voice. “Full disclosure,” I said, grinning at Jeff, “It wasn’t really fair because I’ve had a lucky charm all year.” Jeff gave me a pat on the back, and I skated slowly toward the benches, noticing that the reporter took off after me since I had his microphone. I also had a head start.
The spotlight was following me, but I could still make out Jamie in the dim light, looking at me with wide eyes. “I’ve been pretty much undefeated this year, at least since I found my person. And so, I’m holding them accountable for my wins.” A ripple of laughter and murmuring went through the crowd. “I feel like I owe everything to the person I love, more than I could ever repay. I owe it all to the person I’ve loved more than life itself this whole year. The one who was there for me through thick and thin, no matter what kind of person I was being. The person who finally allowed me to be myself, and the person who let me hide them because I was scared of what would happen if everyone knew I loved them. The person I almost lost.”
I reached the wall and stopped, right in front of him at the door to the ice where my friends had strategically placed him. He looked so beautiful, wearing my jersey and a pair of sweatpants with one leg cut off at the knee for the cast. He had painted our school colors in glitter on his face again. All my friends had painted their faces with him, but he was the most amazing thing I’d ever seen.
Jesse and Caitlin had backed off so that only Jamie and I were in the spotlight. “Well, I’m not scared, anymore,” I said into the mic, to everyone. “I love you, Jamie Bryant. I love you more than anything in the world. When I thought I lost you, I didn’t think I’d be able to go on. I wasn’t even capable of giving up hope because it would have literally killed me. You’re my world, my everything. I’m done hiding who I really am. I want everyone to know it.”
I opened the door and reached for him. His eyes were still wide as he hopped to the edge of the ice. I was pretty sure he thought that after all that I was just going to give him a hug or something, but I scooped him up in my arms and spun once as he clung to my shoulders and wrapped his legs around my waist, in shock and maybe a little concerned that I would fall with him. But I wouldn’t.
