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The reporter had almost reached us, and I could see in my peripheral that he was shaking his head but grinning as he reached for the mic. I held the microphone out to him without taking my eyes off Jamie’s. Jamie was looking at me in amazement. I moved my face toward his, and he met me in a kiss that was probably the most uncertain he’d ever given me. More so than even our first kiss, but he didn’t let me down. No one else in that arena would be able to tell he was unsure. I knew why he was hesitant, but I wasn’t going to regret it. I was done hiding, and I was making sure of it.
The reporter took the microphone from me and said, “Well, there you go, folks. I guess now we know how number 12 has been winning all year.” He laughed. I grinned, but I still didn’t look away from Jamie.
The light was still on us as Jamie looked at me with a million questions in his eyes. The one he settled on was, “Caden, what the hell are you doing?” He gave a laugh that was mostly happy but also a little nervous.
“I’m crushing that damn box under my feet,” I replied, “I’m never getting back in it again.” Then I turned and skated toward the locker room still carrying him. His eyes widened again, and he held on tightly, looking back at Caitlin who was holding his crutches. She held them up and gave him a thumbs-up. I just laughed. He didn’t need them. I’d carry him everywhere.
I knew there was surprise out there, and I was sure there were people out there who didn’t like it and were disgusted and angry. But there were people cheering for us, too. I could hear them in the stands as I skated by. Most of them probably knew who Jamie was, since he’d been pretty popular on the news in recent weeks.
I noticed one particularly unhappy person in the crowd. Renee and her friends were standing up, and she caught my eye before rolling hers. She flipped her hair, and they all headed to the aisleway. She didn’t really look surprised, though. Just annoyed.
Brad stopped me right inside the locker room, his two buddies flanking him. I was ahead of the rest of the team, since the reporter was still speaking to them, and Jeff was carrying the trophy. “I knew you were a fucking fairy,” he spit, and Jamie looked ready to climb down and fight him on a broken leg. No way was I going to drop him on it, though. “Renee saw you on the back of his bike a long time ago, dumbass, and you weren’t just holding onto him for safety. We’ve just been trying to prove it, because she couldn’t get her phone out fast enough to take a picture.” That bitch. And she’d run to Brad with that information? That was why she’d looked so annoyed as she left the stands, and why she’d acted like she had at the party the night Jamie and I had fought. She had been looking at him on the couch that night. She was trying to get proof so they could out me because they knew I was hiding deep in the closet. And the trouble she caused between us was probably a huge bonus for her.
Brad went on, “Her dumb ass could never catch you with him again when the fruit mob wasn’t with you. She’s worthless in all regards but one. And I know that one as well as you, Conner. She fucked me while you two were dating. Sometimes she’d leave your room to come to mine. I guess you couldn’t satisfy her.” I wasn’t sure why he thought I’d care. She certainly couldn’t satisfy me, either. He seemed to think it would hurt me, though. “She was so pissed at you when you broke up with her for good right before she rushed that sorority. She needed to be dating the big hockey star, and apparently I wasn’t good enough. I was still good enough for a revenge fuck, but not good enough to get her into the sorority. It looked bad that you’d dumped her right then, she said. She never forgave you for that. Said you ruined her life.”
Well, the fact that I’d ruined her life was news to me. Apparently the whole reason she’d been upset I broke up with her was because the timing had been inconvenient for her. She obviously hadn’t cared as much as I thought she did, even back then. Caitlin had been right about all of it. Renee had been cheating on me and using me for my status. I would bet she faked everything I ever liked about her, which were things I was having trouble recalling. The fact that she’d blamed me instead of taking responsibility for herself really said it all. She’d never even wanted me back. She’d just been trying to get Jamie to react the entire time so she could prove we were dating and could announce it to the entire school before I was ready, effectively ruining my life like she thought I’d ruined hers.
I couldn’t be mad that she used me, and I didn’t really care that she cheated on me, even though, despite everything, that was something I’d never done to her. But I certainly hadn’t meant to ruin her life, and the thought that we’d spent so much time together and her end goal was to ruin mine, just because she hadn’t gotten into a sorority and I’d found true love, did sting a bit. I never would have wished pain on her. Wasn’t caring much right then, though.
Brad had never liked me. I didn’t back up his racism or homophobia, in fact, I called him out on it. I had the girl he wanted, the girl who made it clear he wasn’t as good for her status as I was. I had the adoration he wanted from the fans, the adoration I’d earned while he rode to wins on my coattails. The image I’d created for myself was the image he wanted. So they’d banded together to crush me. Except my life had suddenly been destroyed without their help. And when it finally got better, I did their job for them and outed myself to the world. That must’ve been really disappointing. It would have been laughable if I hadn’t been so pissed.
I was about to tear into him, and Jamie had turned in my arms and opened his mouth to speak as well, but before either of us could get a word out, Jeff, Declan, and Tyler surrounded us. A little to my surprise, other teammates noticed and joined my friends.
“Back the hell off, Brad,” Declan said, “If you can’t let the two of them be happy after everything they just went through, we’re going to take this outside.”
My teammate Riley spoke up behind me. “Yeah. All of us. What the fuck, man?”
“Caden just won us the playoffs,” Jeff snarled, even though he’d done most of the winning, “And Jamie just came back from the dead. If you don’t think you can let them enjoy their happiness without being a pain in the ass, I promise you, you’re going to be doing a whole lot of soul searching from a hospital bed while you recover from the beat-down you’re about to get from your entire team.”
“Not to mention,” Tyler put in, “I think I just heard a homophobic slur against your teammate. And I’m pretty sure you’re already on thin ice with the Coach for that very thing. This is something he needs to hear about. Things like that aren’t taken lightly here, and you know it.”
Another teammate, Devon, spoke up, “No one likes you, Brad. No one likes any of your little group. Get fucked.”
Tyler had already gone to find the coach, and Brad and his friends took off with one more dirty look at us. I carried Jamie over to the locker I was using and sat him down on the bench in front of it. “Sorry he ruined it,” I sighed, sitting down beside him to take off my skates.
He smiled. God, how I’d missed that smile. “Baby, nothing could ruin that awkward mess you just made for me out there.”
I laughed. “Hey! That wasn’t awkward! I thought it was pretty smooth.”
“I mean I know I was awkward.”
“You were surprised. That’s different.”
“Thank God I fixed my hair tonight.”
I burst out laughing as Jeff walked over to us. “You guys alright?” We both nodded. “Well, are you coming to the celebration? The coach is looking for Brad right now, so I’m pretty sure none of his little crew are going to be there.” The celebration would be at the bar near campus, even though I knew it wasn’t going to hold the crowd that was trying to be there.
“Yeah,” I replied, “I’m going to go tell my parents and sister goodnight before they head back to their hotel, and then we’ll go hang out for a bit. But tonight makes two wins, so if I do the math…” I looked at Jamie mischievously and he laughed.
Jeff rolled his eyes. “Oh, god, I don’t even want to know. See you at the bar.” And he walked off.
???
The bar was crowded. We tried to make our way through the crowd and Jamie’s crutches were making it harder to get through, but I didn’t care. I’d never felt so happy or so free. I got congratulated on my win, as well as congratulated for coming out. Jamie got congratulated on being back. We got some side-eyes. We got another dirty look from Renee, whom I proceeded to flip off right before giving Jamie a filthy kiss in her line of vision. We had our fill of socializing and left early. Jesse knew we were going back to the dorm, so he was planning on partying for the next few hours since he was having a good time with Luke, Jeff, Caitlin, and Amber, anyway. And that’s how I found myself completely naked and on all fours on my bed with Jamie behind me.
I really wanted it. I did. Even so, I was trembling, and I hated it because I was supposed to be brave and tough. That was three quarters of my reputation. We all knew who the tough one really was. He felt me shaking and ran a hand gently over my back. “Are you sure?” he asked me, “Because we don’t have to do this. I can spread these legs with a cast just as easily as I can top. I didn’t get less flexible, Caden.”
I burst out laughing. He always knew how to calm me down. I knew he was serious, though. If I changed my mind, he’d stop or switch roles. “I’m sure.”
