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“I’m fine.” I smile and watch the Titans huddle up. “Is it just me, or does something seem off today?”
“What do you mean?”
“Shawn doesn’t seem like himself. He’s pacing more than normal, and his shoulders are up by his ears. The Titans are winning, too. Usually when they’re up, he’s laughing and having a good time. That’s not the case today,” I say, and my smile melts into a frown. “I hope he’s okay.”
“Been keeping an eye on him?” Maggie jokes, and my cheeks turn pink.
Ihavebeen keeping an eye on him, but I won’t admit it to her. I always find him when he’s on the field. It’s like he’s a beacon of light and I can’t look away.
My frown deepens when he rubs his chest. It’s the third time he’s done it, and I know it’s not because he’s nervous. It’s different. Something new and something I haven’t seen before. I wish there was a way to ask him what’s going on; I’ve tried to get his attention, but every time he moves down the sidelines, he keeps his gaze on the field, not the stands, and it’s completely out of character.
I’m worried.
“Maybe he’s cold,” I say, even though it’s a lie. The man is a tattooed human furnace. “He should put his jacket on.”
“Men,” Maggie mumbles under his breath. “He won’t be having any fun if his fingers fall off.”
Neither will I,I think, and I bite back a grin.
“You know they—”
I stop talking when Shawn walks behind the Titans’ bench. He crouches down on the turf and pulls off his headset. His hands shake as he brings them to his forehead. I watch him rock back and forth, his shoulders curling in on themselves.
“What’s going on?” Maggie asks. “What’s wrong with Shawn?”
“I think—I think he might be having a panic attack,” I say, and my voice cracks. “I need to get down there.”
“What? I didn’t know he—oh my god, Lacey, is he okay?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if he’s okay, Maggie, but I need to get down there. Right now,” I say again, and I can hear my hysteria. “When Aiden gets here, will you—”
“Yes.Yes. How are you—the only way onto the field is through the tunnel.”
I stare at the metal railing in front of me with a determined glare. “No, it’s not.” I swing my legs over the ledge of the concrete block. A security guard standing on the field glances up at me, and his eyes widen. “Tell Aiden what’s going on.”
“Lacey.” Maggie reaches out and holds my shoulder. “He’s going to be okay.”
“I know.” I nod, but my eyes fill with tears. “I just don’t want him to be alone,” I whisper, and she nods. I take a deep breath and heave myself out of the stands and onto the field.
I land on my feet, and three security guards charge toward me.
“Ma’am, you’re not allowed down here,” one says.
“You are trespassing, and you will be ejected from the game,” another says, and I try to push past them.
“I have to see him. That’s my—he’s my—I need to make sure he’s okay,” I say. “Please, let me check on him.”
“We can’t do that. You don’t have the credentials to be down here,” the third says, and he pulls out a walkie talkie. “Step back. Now.”
“Fuck the credentials,” I yell as Jett leads Shawn to a tent on the sidelines. I can’t see him anymore, and my panic rises.“That is the man I care about and he isnot alright.Let me go, or I will get over there however I can.”
“Hey.” I hear a sharp voice, and I see Dallas running toward me. “She’s fine. Let her on.”
“We’re not—”
“I don’t give a fuck what you’re allowed to do,” he snaps. “That’s her boyfriend, and he needs her. You can take it up with him after the game if you want, and I’ll pay the fine. Let her through.”
My eyes sting with fresh tears, and I want to scream at the top of my lungs. The security guards step back, and I take off toward Shawn. Dallas touches my arm as I pass, and my bottom lip trembles as I look at him.
