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“A little,” I admitted. I glimpsed over at Elijah beside me who was watching me far too intently at the dinner table. “I never thought I’d have more than two.”
That was the truth. It was also true that I thought I’d grow old with Scott. A foolish dream. I wanted to go back in time and strangle myself for living inside a fantasy when in reality I had been so tired and stressed all the time. It was so obvious that I had been alone in that so-called relationship.
“Now you got to have more than two,” she chided me.
“Ma leave her be,” Elijah murmured quickly, taking a giant drink of his soda.
“I’m just saying I want more than two grandbabies.” She pinned him with a smirk. “Are you saying you don’t want any?”
I glanced at Elijah again who was sighing at his mom. “Of course I do.” He gave me a sidelong stare.
My face was suddenly a furnace.
Another truth—I always thought I would have kids with one man and one man alone. I knew it was the twenty-first century and things happened. Guys were crappy and sometimes it was the women, but I never thought that one day I’d consider a future with another man or having more children.
A lot of things weren’t what I thought they’d be.
I found myself overwhelmed, perhaps, because Elijah was an earthquake of a man, but definitely not against the idea of maybe. Correction. Not maybe, just one day.
One day he might live with us.
One day he might be our real family.
One day he might make me his wife.
Elijah’s my one day.
“Relax,” he whispered, reaching out and grabbing my hand. He placed it on his lap where he drew lazy circles with his thumb across my hand. “Baby steps.”
I still wasn’t convinced I could meet his eyes yet. My emotions needed an outlet, and that seemed to be him right now. I risked breaking if I stared for too long, but I snorted when he said that. I suddenly understood where his intensity came from—his mother. Both of them wouldn’t know subtle if it smacked them in the face. She obviously knew Elijah and I were seeing each other, and she wanted grandkids. No one would have ever guessed.
Still, I noticed the way they fussed over mine. Did I ever feel this comfortable with Scott’s family? Did they ever make me feel at home? I just met Hank. With the way he played with Lucy and Eli was like he’d been around them thousands of times.
I liked his mom and Hank. They were going the extra mile to make us feel comfortable. No, maybe that was just who they were, but I liked it.
Oh, fudge. This warm atmosphere was only getting to my already frazzled nerves. I knew what I needed, but it had to wait until I had Elijah alone. My heart had wanted it since I saw him step out onto his porch.
“Come on, Lucy.” Hank stood with Eli. “Let me show you his old room.”
“Let me hold him for a while.” Elijah’s mom finally got Eli.
Lucy followed Hank out of the dining room. I rose from my chair and picked up plates.
His mom saw me and sighed. “I’ll get it, honey, don’t worry about cleaning up.”
“I don’t mi—” I didn’t even finish what I was saying before a plate slipped through my hand and shattered on the ground. The blood drained from my face as I bent down. “I’m so, so sorry.” I apologized over and over, too mortified to look up.
“It’s okay. It was only a plate. I have about thirty more if you need some.” She was laughing at herself until she saw what I couldn’t keep at bay any longer. “Oh honey, why are you crying?”
“Hadley,” Elijah bent down and took the broken pieces out of my hands. “It’s only a plate. Look at me.”
I covered my eyes with my arm instead. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re killing me. Baby, you’re going to have to tell me what’s wrong before I find out and hurt someone.”
His words only made me cry harder for I was still waiting for what I needed from him.
“I’ll clean it up, Elijah. Take her on the porch if you need to.” He rose, pulling me up with him. His mother patted my back as he grabbed my wrists and led me forward. “It’s okay, honey.”
