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I was so embarrassed, but I couldn’t stop myself. Was this a mental breakdown? A panic attack? What was wrong with me, and why couldn’t I control it?
The screen door made a creaking sound as he pushed it open and led me outside. The second it slammed shut, he pulled me close, smashing my nose into his chest as he hugged me. I breathed him in, warming at the way one hand snaked around my back and the other rubbed the top of my hair. My arms were at my sides, and I just let him hold me—let him comfort me. It was the only thing I wanted since I saw him earlier. In his embrace, all the anxiety and hurt and troubles seeped out of me like he was channeling everything for me. The feeling was instant and so overwhelming that I was tired. And content. So very content.
The tears hadn’t stopped, and even though I felt like the world had slipped from my shoulders the moment I was in his arms, it didn’t change the fact that the problem was still there inside me. It only meant that I had wantedto rely on someone.
I was a mother of two at twenty-two. I worked a stable job, had my own bills, and responsibilities. I comforted my kids when they were hurting but in that moment, I knew I found someone to comfort me. Someone to take care of me when I needed it.
It was what I’d been waiting on, what I’d been wanting, and how I’d come to rely on Elijah. When did it start?
“Let’s grab Lucy and Eli and head to my place, all right? Whatever this is, you’re going to talk about it,” he whispered, rubbing my back.
My snot and everything was dripping on his shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind. “Scott came and picked them up today. Lucy hadn’t wanted to go, but he convinced her to when he came to get Eli,” my voice was gravelly since I was still bawling. “She ended up crying on him and his parents, Eli too, and they got so upset over it. The only time I have ever not let Scott see them when he asked was after that week when he threw a fit. I’ve always told him that his parents can come get the kids whenever they wanted. Elijah, they never call and want to see them but once in a blue moon. Then they get mad when Lucy and Eli cry on them… Eli doesn’t know them, and Lucy never hears from them!” I wiped my eyes. “Is it really my fault? Am I really to blame?”
“God no, Hadley.” He hugged me tighter. “You’re not responsible for grown folks getting to know their own grandchildren. If Scott or whoever doesn’t make the effort to get to know them, that’s on them, not you. No matter what shit they tell you.”
“I’m scared they’re going to give me crap.”
“Sounds like they already are, baby.” He was still rubbing my head soothingly. And it was honestly making me feel better. “That’s why you got to grow thicker skin. That shit won’t fly with me. I won’t let you get hurt by them anymore.”
“That’s Lucy and Eli’s family,” I whispered.
“That doesn’t give them the right to be so fucking hateful when it’s their fault to begin with. Stop trying and see how much they do. If they want to be in your kids’ lives, that’s good, but if they don’t…” He held me at arm’s length and reached for my hand, bringing it to his chest. “They have me. Whatever I can be, I’ll be for those two. I love all your pieces, especially the ones that call you mom. I hope one day they’ll come to me instead of just you when they need something because I’ll be here.”
“Elijah…” I mumbled right before throwing my arms around his neck.
