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CHAPTER 10
NOAH
Gripping the steering wheel as tight as I can, my hackles raise at the sight of Chase leaving his home, looking fucking hot, like he’s going on a date. Which isn’t fucking happening.
I follow him into town, where he parks on a back street, gets out of his car, and starts walking towards Main Street. I quickly catch up with him and am grateful for the broken street lights that provide extra cover. I’m dying to get closer to him, to inhale him until he fills my lungs. I pull up my hood and zip up my jacket so it covers the lower half of my face.
As we walk down the dark street, his pace increases, like he’s sensed me. My man is perceptive. I keep to the darkest points of the sidewalk where he won't be able to see me. His fear as I watch the puffs of misty clouds leave his mouth into the icy air from his rapid breathing, makes me ache with lust. He frequently looks over his shoulder. I can’t resist taunting him, increasing my footsteps in time with his own. Enjoying this little chase in the dark, one he escapes when he turns onto Main Street. Chase takes a moment first, quickly checking behind him before he relaxes and walks with determination.
I peer around the corner to see where he’s going. The annoyance and anger that he may be meeting someone has made my heart beat so fast, like an animal trying to escape my chest. I pull my hood further up over my head and continue to follow him until he stops outside some eatery, where a rugged man and petite woman greet him. My insides start to relax. These may be friends. I’m not sure how to read that hug, but I’d guess it was friendly, which is confirmed when the rugged guy places a kiss on the woman's lips as Chase smiles and looks on.
When they go inside, I cross to the other side of the street, stand under one of the closed shop alcoves, and watch. I light a cigarette, and with every inhale, I relax more as I watch the trio enjoy their meal. Chase looks more smiley than I’ve seen him. That strain on his face that has been present with the slumping shoulders has disappeared completely. Does he look happy? It's a gorgeous vision that only captures my interest more. His face is so expressive, making me want to learn more about him. I think I would like to be the one responsible for his smiles. And his cries.
Chase sits alone on his side of the table as his friends chat with him, and I picture myself in that empty seat. Holding onto his thigh, squeezing the firm muscle to remind him that he’s mine. I don’t think I would even mind sitting with his friends, as long as they don’t expect me to talk. They don’t seem like a threat, which reassures my bloodthirsty side that the risk of them taking Chase away is low. Let’s hope for their sake that’s true.
Chase’s attention moves to the large plate of food in front of him, and he lifts one of the BBQ ribs to his mouth. He starts to chew and suck on the bone as he removes the meat with his perfectly straight teeth, licking his fingers, tasting the sticky sauce, and my dick awakens like it's been called into military action. Eating ribs shouldn’t be so fucking hot, but it is when Ipicture my cock in its place. I’d even let him nibble on it, too. I enjoy a bite of pain. That’s why I’m addicted to tattoos. It releases the tension in me when I’m frustrated or just bored. It prevents me from going full raging psychopath.
After a few uncomfortable minutes of my dick straining in the confines of my jeans, Chase finishes his meal and finishes off his drink. From here, I can just about make out his prominent Adam’s apple, which moves with each swallow. I want to mark him there, leave my fingerprints around his neck. I want to leave him with that sore ache every time he swallows or touches his throat, reminding him over and over who left those marks and who he belongs to.
As the night progresses, the cold air becomes freezing. We’re on the other side of winter, about to get into spring. It's cold enough to freeze my ass off, but nothing will make me move. I don’t want to lose sight of him for a second. It’ll be three sleeps until my next appointment, where I can sit freely in front of him, not hiding in the dark. The urge is building like a tornado in my stomach. I need him to see me again so he doesn’t forget me. I think a coincidental “bumping into him” on the street is in order, just to make sure I’m on his mind before he falls asleep tonight.
Another forty-five minutes or so pass before the rugged guy pays the bill, and they make their way to the door. I walk back to the side street where we are parked and lay in wait for him to return, intending to bump into him, maybe even scare him a little in the dark. No doubt he’ll be wary walking down here again. But I’ll be there to protect him.
CHAPTER 11
CHASE
Walking out of the restaurant, we’re greeted by the cold air that sends a sharp tingle from my fingers to my cheeks. Shit, it's cold.
“Hey, you wanna come back to ours for a while?” Liam asks with a bundled-up Jane tucked under his arm.
“Thanks, but I’m just gonna head home where my bed is calling for me,” I say as I move in to peck Jane goodnight on the cheek and give Liam a warm embrace.
Tonight has been exactly what I needed. I laughed and chatted about anything and everything. It was healing to reconnect with the two most important people in my life besides my brother. And while it's been fun, I’m exhausted. This past week has been a rollercoaster of emotions and trials, but I just want the peace of my home and enjoy the quiet that my brain has become.
“You take care. We love you,” Jane says as they turn in the other direction.
“You too. Night,” I say and smile, watching as they walk away wrapped up in each other's arms. I’m so relieved Jane is doing well and that they can just enjoy their lives. I don’t missthe slight ache in my chest, and it's not jealousy. It's longing. Longing for someone to want me and for me to be enough. Christ, if I’m not careful, I’ll be able to hold an elaborate pity party.
Stuffing my hands in my jacket while I curse myself for leaving my gloves at home, I start walking towards my car and pray that nobody is hanging around ready to follow me again. I hesitantly turn onto the back street I’m parked on, where I stop, plucking up the courage to walk further. Just as I start to move, and leave the light of the town, a tall, dark figure emerges from the shadows, heading towards me, and I’m hit with recognition of the large frame, leather jacket, and ringed fingers highlighted by the street lights behind me. Is that Noah?
As he gets closer, he looks up, and our eyes meet. I shit you not, but that look alone feels like the whole town has been obliterated, leaving only us behind. The heat of his stare makes me want to cringe but also step closer to him. I just want to know more about him. I only drank soda tonight, so I can’t even blame alcohol. What is the ethical code for patients and therapists? Do I speak to him? Ignore him?
“Noah?” I ask, my mouth speaking before my brain can catch up, my feet abruptly stopping in front of him. Noah watches me closely, his eyes roving around my whole face like he’s documenting every line, every imperfection. This is not the norm for social interaction, but I find myself not caring. It should make me uncomfortable, but he fascinates me too much to question it further. We remain rooted to the spot, wholly engrossed by one another.
“Chase,” he says, and fuck me, does it sound sexy. His voice is husky and deep, like liquid velvet, smooth and sensual. I’m so entranced by him that I didn’t notice how much closer he is to me. Close enough to touch but not intimately so. The crisp air creates a smoke effect from his mouth every time he breathes,and it's so alluring. It makes me want to reach out and touch it like it would connect me to him. This is so fucking weird.
Clearing my throat, I break our “who will speak first” stand-off. “Are you out with friends tonight?” I ask in a painful attempt at small talk.
He does that slight lift of his upper lip, which is in between a smirk and a smile. It makes me vibrate to the core. This underlying danger radiates off him, and instead of repelling me, I want to move in closer. But I force my instincts aside. This is my patient, who would not be the best decision for multiple reasons.
“No,” he says. One-word response, just like in our sessions, but I know there is more to that answer. It's a weird feeling. I can sense what he wants to say. There’s a crackling connection buzzing between us. Like he sees the needy part of me that is desperate to let go of all control, and like I see his intense obsession with craving the control. To own. We’re like two exposed live wires that have the potential to cause a lot of damage if we allow them to connect.
“Okay, well, I’m on my way home. Have a good night, Noah,” I say and smile as I walk past him, breathing in his signature cigarette and sandalwood scent, which has imprinted on me. It's so ingrained that I even smell it in my home. My brain has clung to it, and I wonder if it's a comfort blanket to which my subconscious has attached itself.
While he has a hazard warning blazing across his forehead, I weirdly find comfort in his presence. Maybe I’m projecting. All of this obsessing over Noah and charging through with a life plan only highlights the absolute truth. I’m fucking lonely. I hate living in that house by myself, nobody to talk to, nobody to touch me and take on the burden of life. Fucking hell, just a hug from a romantic interest would suffice. This must be why I feel this connection with Noah. I think we are both missing thatanchor in our lives, so the pull between us maybe burns brighter than it would’ve if the circumstances and timing of our meeting had been different. Shit. For a therapist, I’m unable to apply any of my knowledge to my own life. If this isn’t the definition of “practice what you preach”, I don’t know what it is.
Slowly, I walk past him, finding myself unable to look back. My body refuses to let me for fear of what I’ll see, but damn, I want to look. I can feel his eyes on me, laser-focused into the back of my head, and it makes my mind fuzzy.Fuck. I’m dreading our session next week. This whole situation is ridiculous, and I need to get laid. It's been so long that I’ve forgotten how my dick works. A couple of decent orgasms should be enough to reboot my brain back into normal Chase mode.
