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Noah pulls me close and rubs my back with his hands, a move that I’ve become quickly fond of as it rids my body of all worry, engulfing me only in safety. That makes me smile to myself, remembering how he told me I was safe with him.
“I want him to leave me alone.”
‘Don’t look worried, baby. I’ve got this,” Noah says as he holds me in a tight grip and kisses me like he has been away for months, rather than an hour.
“What do you mean you’ve got this?”
“Look at me, Chase. Who will always protect you and make the bad go away?”
I lose myself in his eyes, the rawness of his honesty shreds all decency left in me. Wade is determined to make my life miserable and I’m tired of it. Noah’s answer to problems is not a solution, but I can’t lie and say the lengths that he would go to for me doesn’t stir my ego.
“You. But you don’t need to hurt people to do that.”
“Like how they hurt you? Eye for an eye, baby. People like your parents and Wade won’t ever learn. It’s not how they work.They only care about themselves. Look at what they did to you. Abandoned you, treated you like shit, cheated, bullied.”
“Why are you saying this? Are you trying to hurt me?”
“No. I’m being honest. Look around those people in your life who pushed you down. It’s not your fault that you’re so starved for touch and attention that you went full in with me. It’s because you see me. You see nothing but truth in me. I’m a bad man who does bad things. There’s no limit for what I would do to keep you, baby. But I’d never hurt you like those fuckers.”
My eyes fill with emotion. What he says makes sense but I can’t help how pathetic it makes me feel. The good and the bad guy on each shoulder hardly fight now as the bad guy drowns out the noise of the good guy. What has being a good person ever done for me? Only ever brought me pain and heartache. And because apparently I’m a horrible person who has lost his moral compass, I hand myself over to Noah fully with a soul destroying kiss that’s both warm and toxic, a deadly combo.
CHAPTER 31
NOAH
The following morning, I go back to my apartment after dropping Chase off at work. While he seems to have come around more to what being with me entails, I still check the tracking app on his phone so I can make sure that I know where he is when I’m not around. I’m shocked he didn't have a little meltdown when he found out.
I’m bringing him back to my apartment after work. I want to have him in my space, to have his sweet scent embedded in each room. I order some groceries and some food that we can heat up later. I want to make sure there are no interruptions so that I can give him all my attention.
A timid knock at my door has me scowling at it. You have to be buzzed into this building, so I’m now on full alert unless it's one of the annoying neighbors. Looking through the peephole, I’m shocked to see my mother standing on the other side.
This is new. I don’t believe she has ever visited me.
I open the door and look at the woman who birthed me. Her hair is as dark as mine, but she has brown eyes and pale skin. She’s tall and slender, dressed in a designer woolen dress that sits below her knee, with black calf boots and a long cream coatwith a matching handbag. She looks as she always does, the stepford wife who has walked out of a fashion magazine.
“It's rude to leave a guest on your doorstep, Noah,” she says in her uppity voice.
“I didn’t invite you, so you’re not a guest. What do you want?”
“Let me in. I won’t be staying long.”
I move to the side as she gracefully dances in like she belongs here. Whenever I see her, I’m always fascinated that she gave birth to me. We have zero connection or love for each other, it's surreal to me that we share blood.
“Is it true?” she asks while looking out the large windows in the living room to the busy streets below.
“Is what true?”
“That your father is on the verge of losing all of our money?” She turns her muddy brown eyes on me. She’s as dead as I am on the inside.
“Yes.”
“I’m leaving town. Leaving your father. Fortunately, I was sensible enough to siphon a little slice of money each month in case he fucked up as he does with most things. You won’t be able to contact me. I doubt I will see you again.”
I don’t give a shit.
“Cool.”
Turning to face me she gives a curt nod and walks back to the door, with her hand on the doorknob she casts a glance at me over her shoulder.
