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“I’m askingyouto marryme, but I’ve got conditions.” Ian snapped the box shut and set it down out of Alek’s reach. “And there’s something I have to tell you first because I haven’t been completely honest with you and you deserve to know everything before you answer.”
Alek traced his fingers over the heart on his cast. “Maybe I love you enough to answer without knowing everything because what I know is enough. If you’re trying to teach me a lesson, I don’t want to be condescended to.”
“No. That’s not what I mean.” Ian cleared his throat. “If we want this to work, we have to be honest. We have to choose to trust each other until we build up enough trust that we actually do.”
Alek focused his sage green eyes on him. “Tell me.”
In slow, even words, Ian said, “Right before you fell, I said you were a burden, and that I wished I never met you.” Ian cringed. “I sort of equated you to a malignant tumor.”
“Malignant tumor?” Alek raised his brows like Ian was a child trying to pass an impossible story off as fact.
The words had come out easily in the heat of the moment, but taking them back, repeating them, watching the subtle changes in Alek’s body language as he closed himself off; the way his spine straightened to make the most of his height, how the muscles in his forearm flexed as his good hand clenched into a fist—it wasn’t easy.
“I just meant that even if I tried to leave you, I couldn’t, because you’ll always be inside of me. I can’t cut you out without destroying myself. See? It doesn’t even make sense.”
Alek said nothing. The silence was suffocating.
“I regretted it as soon as I said it. I was angry. I didn’t mean it. I?—”
“You meant it. You just wish you didn’t.”
“Alek—”
“What are the terms of our engagement? You said there were conditions.”
Ian blinked. He should have known Alek would respond with apathy.
“That’s it? You’re okay with what I said?”
Alek shrugged. “You said I was inside you, which is something I will never take issue with, and I quite like the idea that you can’t leave me completely, even if you wanted to.”
“Alek,” Ian leaned closer and cupped his cheek. “You can be mad at me. You can show me that I hurt you. You can be honest with me.”
Alek waved his hand cavalierly. “You take yourself so seriously. It’s fine.”
It wasn’t, but if Ian pushed any further he’d only push Alek away. “Okay, so my conditions…” He held up a finger. “You have to tell me everything. Not all at once, but as extra motivation not to drag your feet, I’ll only marry you when I’ve heard it all.”
Alek shook his head. “If you can’t have me with my secrets, then you can’t have me at all.”
“Is that the brooding bad boy version ofif you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best?”
“Yesterday you said you would marry me even if I never told you about my past. Now you’ll only marry me if I tell you everything?” Alek tried to cross his arms and sighed petulantly when his cast got in the way.
“It’s not about your secrets; it’s about trust. I don’t trust you to tell the truth. I don’t trust you not to hurt me. You don’t trust me enough to tell me anything except what you absolutely have to. You don’t trust that I’ll stay. We need to start over and build this thing right because if we don’t,” Ian gestured back and forth between the two of them, “none of this is going to work, and I need us to work, Alek. I can’t go through what I went through when I thought I lost you forever.”
Alek looked away, his hand balling into a fist. Ian took Alek’s hand, unclenched his fingers, and kissed his palm.
“How about we play another game?” Ian asked.
Alek looked back at him with wary, guarded eyes.
“I get to ask you two questions every day; one about your past and one about us, and no matter what the answer is, as long as it’s the truth, I will forgive you.” He paused, worrying his lip between his teeth. Alek was like a genie in a bottle. The rules needed to be specific. No loopholes. “You have to answer more than yes or no. I think you owe me that. With two questions a day, I might actually get to know you in a year or so. Would you like to play?”
Alek grumbled, “What choice do I have?”
Ian smiled. “That was hardly the acceptance of a marriage proposal I was hoping for.”
“Now you know how it feels. What’s the other rule? You said there were two.”
