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Alek licked his lips again. Ian knew what he was doing. Taunting him. Tempting him. It was Alek’s oldest trick, well-worn to the point that Ian would be more surprised if he didn’t lean on sex for control, especially now that he’d lost so much of it.
Ian waited. He let the silence draw out between them. Alek’s eyes darkened.
“The sounds you made,” Alek said, somberly, like he knew it would never sound that way again. “Your voice, the scratch of your palm against the scruff of your five o’clock shadow. It made the prettiest pictures in my brain. And the way you smelled? It was like the forest in summer. I could see the entire thing if I closed my eyes and inhaled. I hadn’t thought about anyone except myself since my uncle died.”
If Alek noticed what he revealed, he didn’t acknowledge it.
“I thought about you. Incessantly. What’s Ian doing? Why hasn’t he called me? Why won’t he write back? What sound would he make when he buried his dick inside me? What would that feel like?”
Ian’s stomach dropped. “Wait. That was your first time bottoming?”
Alek nodded.
After that first fuck, Alek and Ian had swapped topping each other, taking turns relinquishing control before stealing it back. They both liked it that way, or at least Ian thought they did.
Ian asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you’d never bottomed before?”
“It was impromptu sex against a door. We barely knew each other. Why would I have told you?”
“That’s fair, but what about since then? You never thoughtI’d like to know? Do you even want me to top you? Have you just been tolerating it to keep me here with you?”
“I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t like it.”
“Ejaculation is a physical response. I want to hear the truth.”
“I never let anyone top me before because I never had the desire to. Maybe I didn’t trust you enough to tell you, but I’ve always trusted you enough to top me. If you’re worried I didn’t want it. Don’t. If you knew how many times I fantasized about it… I promise. I’m very satisfied with our current arrangement.”
They were only words. Ian didn’t want to believe them, but that was the deal, right? Alek was supposed to trust Ian with the answers to his questions, and Ian was supposed to trust his answers were the truth.
“Did I hurt you?” Ian asked.
Alek looked at Ian under his eyelashes in much the same way he did when he sucked his dick. “Only in the best way.”
“I’m serious. Stop fucking me with your eyes.”
Alek’s face sobered. “No, Ian. You didn’t hurt me. I still jack off to that memory. It was so good I'm surprised I don’t get hard whenever I open a door. Can I have that bath now?”
Ian exhaled his relief, but as he went to fill the water basin, he started to worry that maybe Alek was right.
What if his lies were too much?
The next day,Ian took Alek to a park bench in the hospital’s courtyard. The trip over had left Alek fatigued. A fine mist of sweat gathered on his forehead and the back of his neck.
Ian readjusted the ice pack he held to Alek’s hand. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back to your room?”
Alek shook his head. “Ask me your questions.”
Ian took a deep breath and asked, “How did your uncle die?”
Alek narrowed his eyes. “I never told you my uncle died. I won’t fall for your bluff again.”
Gently, Ian replied, “I’m not bluffing. You mentioned it yesterday.”
Alek’s forehead wrinkled.
“You were really tired,” Ian said.
Alek dropped his gaze and kicked the bottom of his shoes over the pebble rocks that lined the path. “He drowned.”
