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Isn’t that the question of the year? “I… I don’t know… I have a lot of conflicting feelings about it, and I’m just not sure.”
Payton nods slowly. “That makes sense.”
Does it, though? I take a step closer and hold out my arms. My heart hammers in my chest when Payton accepts my hug and holds me tightly in return. She has to feel my heart beating. There’s no way she doesn’t. We stay like this for a long time. Longer than is probably normal, but I don’t care. I don’t want to let go. I don’t ever want to let go.
Eventually, Payton does, so I have no choice. I mutter another thank you before hopping off her porch and heading toward my car. After a few steps, I turn around to sneak one more peek at her. Payton is already staring at me and when our eyes meet, the cutest smile spreads across her face. I smile back, and when I turn around, there’s an extra skip in my step.
Best. Night. Ever.
Chapter 27
*Love Interest*
“I should tell her, right? I definitely need to tell her now?” I ask Bug and Delilah as I lean up against my locker.
They don’t answer because they are too busy reading the note from Marjorie, so I push off the lockers and stand behind them to read it once again myself
Hey, you! First of all, I wanted to tell you I loved the last chapter you gave me. Mark my words: This book is going to be a best seller someday. There’s something else I need to talk to you about though. I need to be honest. Somewhere in the span of sending these notes, I’ve developed a pretty substantial crush on you. The problem is I’ve developed a big crush on someone else as well. Someone who doesn’t only exist in a fantasy world. I’m not sure what to do because I love this world we’ve created with each other, but it’s also not real life. I want to keep talking, but I also need to be honest and open with you about everything. I don’t even know for sure if this other girl likes me, but there’s a definite connection there, so I have to imagine she feels it too. I don’t know what this means for us, but I do know that I don’t want to lose you. I’m sorry. I’m not sure what else to say or do. Maybe you’ll have some grand idea. You’re amazing like that <3
“So, I need to tell her, right?” I ask once again.
“You definitely need to tell her,” Delilah says as she hands the note back to me.
“Yeah. You needed to be honest like… yesterday,” Bug adds.
I roll my eyes at him. “You don’t have to be rude. She said she didn’t want to know. What was I supposed to do?” I look between him and Delilah. “How pissed do you think she’s going to be?”
Delilah shrugs. “I think as long as she hears it from you, she’ll be fine.”
“You have to tell her for multiple reasons. One is that she clearly likes you, like real-life you, not just the girl writing the letters. Second, if you tell her, you guys can start texting each other all your sweet nothings and that gets me off the hook.” He laughs so I know he’s kidding, but the comment still earns him a shove.
“You act like it’s so hard to deliver a few notes.”
“It is when I have to be all incognito.”
“Excuse me,” a voice says. All three of us look over to where Mrs. Fairfield is standing. Her arms are crossed over her chest, but she’s luckily smiling. “I hate to break up this little locker powwow, but it’s the first day of spring and it’s unseasonably warm out, so I need all hands on deck from my after-school crew.” She looks at me and Bug. “You two will be on the outside window to start.” Then she turns her attention to Delilah. “And you’ll be inside. Marjorie should be in soon to join you.”
I grab my visor from my work locker and put Marjorie’s note inside of it. We are super busy, so I don’t have any more time to think about the Marjorie situation. After about an hour, a car pulls into the parking lot that I unfortunately recognize. I wish I didn’t know what car he drives. I wish I didn’t know any of it. But I do, and now I can’t breathe. I want to run in the back and hide, but Eli is busy making milkshakes so I have to stay at the window. I watch him get closer and closer, his whole stupid perfect family right there with him. I pray that Eli gets back over here before they make it to the window, but he doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t, because that’s just my luck.
He walks up to the window, and I wonder what he’s going to say. What does a man say to the child he simply gave up?
“I’ll take two small vanilla cones, a medium chocolate milkshake, and a large twist in a cup.”
Apparently, that’s what he says. He gives his fucking ice cream order as if he’s not staring his daughter straight in the eye. I watch him, completely dumbfounded, hoping if he doesn’t acknowledge me that he at least moves off to the side so I don’t have to see his stupid face with the stupid eyes he gave me. He doesn’t do that, so I turn around to prepare his order.
The problem is, my hands are shaking, I’m having trouble breathing, and I can barely see. Sweat gathers on my face and hands. My vision is completely blurry now, and I realize it’s because I have tears in my eyes.
“Payton? Payton, are you okay?”
It’s Marjorie’s voice, but I can’t figure out where it’s coming from. I’m having a full-blown panic attack now. It’s like I’m hearing everything from under water, but I can make out Bug explaining that my dad is here. Then, I hear some commotion, and I can’t be sure, but I think I hear Marjorie say something like, “We don’t need your business, asshole. Get out of here.”
Mr. and Mrs. Fairfield are now speaking with stern voices, but I don’t hear any expletives. I really hope Marjorie isn’t getting in trouble, especially since it’s all my fault.
A warm, comforting hand lands on my arm. “I’m going to get you out of here,” Marjorie whispers in my ear.
I nod my head, but I still can’t comprehend what’s happening. Soon we’re in a car and my head is down between my legs as I try to catch my breath. There’s a hand rubbing circles on my back, and it’s calming me down. I can finally breathe again.
The car comes to a stop and my head feels too heavy to lift up. “Where are we?”
