AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He braked so suddenly that I flew forward in the seat, the seat belt locking across my chest.
“Shit. I’m sorry,” he growled. “Are you okay? I wasn’t paying attention to the lights.”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I told him, hating how awkward we were being with each other.
“But it’s not like that. Not at all. I didn’t move on. I—I was trying to forget the biggest mistake I’d ever made in my life. How I’d ruined the best thing that I’d ever had.”
I bit down on my lip, watching his profile as the street lights reflected across his gorgeous face.
“After we left, I went a little crazy. I had to get black-out drunk to sleep, and then I’d walk around all day with a hangover, barely able to put two steps together. I got into fights. Carter and Sebastian had to drag me out of bars because I’d either get into brawls or I’d be passed out at the counter. Which obviously wasn’t fair to them because they were hurting just as much as I was.” He shook his head, his fingers digging into the steering wheel like he was about to rip it from the dash. “I was just trying to forget,” he whispered. “That’s all I was trying to do...forget your face. And the sound of your voice. And the fact that I saw you in my head every second. I would dream about how you felt, and your laugh...and everything…” A broken sob came out of his mouth, and I flinched, unable to do anything but stare at him as I listened to his pain.
For the first time I wondered if they’d gotten the worse end of the deal after all. Because if they loved me, like I was thinking they did...then they’d been stuck all those years remembering everything that had made us...us. While I hadn’t remembered anything at all.
“I almost killed myself the first time I went to a girl’s apartment. I took a bunch of pills she had and then took a few shots, and when I woke up there was puke all over the bed and the floor and I’d been asleep for over a day.”
A tear slid down my cheek, and as if he could hear it, he looked at me for the first time. “Don’t cry for me. I don’t deserve it,” he whispered.
“That girl at the bar—did you really not remember who she was?”
He shrugged. “I can’t remember anyone but you.”
I huffed at that, but he didn’t smile. I guess that hadn’t been a joke.
We pulled into the parking garage, and I debated bringing up the question I had about what the girl had said in the bathroom.
I let the silence linger as we got out of the truck and into the elevator, and as we started to ascend.
It was only when we’d stepped into the darkness of the penthouse that I let the words come.
“I got upset because those girls were talking about you when I was in the bathroom. They didn’t know I was in there—or maybe they did and they just didn’t care—but regardless...one of the girls…” My voice faded away, because I didn’t like anything about this conversation.
“What did they say?” he asked.
“They were talking about how I wasn’t going to be able to handle you guys. That your sex drives, so to speak, would be too much for me. And that I’d never be able to satisfy you?—
“That’s fucking ridiculous—” he began...his voice fading away as I shook my head and held up my hand for him to stop.
“She talked specifically aboutyou. How you—you like certain things in bed and that I wouldn’t be able to keep you happy.”
Jack’s face was torn, his forehead scrunched up. His lips pursed in displeasure.
“She said you like to be in control,” I whispered.
There was a tic in Jack’s cheek as he studied me, his eyes glittering in the dim light.
“What did she mean by that?”
“It’s not a big deal,” he said after what felt like an enormously long pause. “Having sex with you is a dream. The best thing I’ve ever experienced. I couldn’t ask for more.”
“But you do likemore,” I pressed.
He tore his gaze away and studied the floor.
“Jack—” I said softly. “Please, tell me.”
“I couldn’t stand for them to touch me. I would throw up when they did. So, I figured out the best way to get the distraction I needed...was to prevent them from doing that. Iwould tie them up, so they couldn’t touch me at all..." His words faded away.
“And you ended up liking it,” I finished for him.
