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"I wanted to check in on you," he says. "Hayley's been worried about you too."
"I'm doing okay," I assure him. "You and your wife are sweet for asking."
"That's good, sweetheart," he says with a smile.
I have a feeling that he's not only asking for his wife. "Where is he, Wrath?"
He sighs. "He's gone back to New York. He'll be back soon."
I blink, surprised by his answer. "Oh," I say, feeling a little uneasy. "I hadn't realized he was going back."
Did he go to New York because of me? Is he really coming back or is this it?
"He'll be back, Ailbhe. I can promise you that. He'll be back."
I don't believe him. I don't know why, but there's a part of me that thinks he's just saying that Preacher will be home when he's not actually going to.
"Thanks for telling me," I say. "I'll see you later."
He nods. "If you ever need anythin', just let me know."
I flash him another smile. "I appreciate that, Wrath. Thank you."
I turn and walk to my car, my heart racing. I'm sad Preacher's gone. I can't help but feel as though he's gone because of me. Because of the baby. Had I not gotten pregnant, would he have gone back to the States?
God, why is everything so fucked up? I had hoped it would have been plain sailing from here on out, but things never go to plan.
I need to finally realize that my baby only has me. Preacher's never going to come around and be a father. He's run as far as he can, and I don't think he'll ever be back.
CHAPTER20
PREACHER
I'm a fucking coward. That's exactly what the fuck I am. When the going gets tough, I run.
When Abel committed suicide and died, I ran and never came back. Granted it was going to happen anyway as I was already leaving, but he hung himself, and instead of staying and saying my goodbyes, I left and never looked back. When that shit went down with Reaper going to prison, instead of running somewhere, I found my escape at the bottom of a bottle. Then Tyson happened and I couldn't cope, so I ran, and I also drank as much as I could. Now here I am again, doing everything but facing the challenges ahead of me.
The ride from the airport to the clubhouse is quiet. One of the new prospects have come and collected me. Something I'm extremely grateful for. I didn't want to have the small chit-chat with anyone else. It's fucked up enough that I'm even here. I should be in Ireland sorting my shit out, but instead, I need my brother to kick my ass and help me clear my fucking head.
I called Reaper last night. It was the fourth time in a year that I've spoken to him. That's beyond fucking crazy. The guy has always been at my side and I fucking left and never looked back. Yet again, I called him, telling him that I needed him, and he didn't even hesitate. He told me he'd be waiting for me. That's true brotherhood. Utter loyalty. I don't know what I'd do without him. Even after a year has passed and with an ocean between us, it hasn't changed how he views me. I'm still his brother.
If only I was able to deal with my shit the way he is. Instead, I bottle everything up until I can't handle it any longer and then I need to escape. It's fucking crazy how I handle shit.
The New York scenery hasn't changed. It's just the same as I left. A few more high rises but nothing has drastically changed. "Preacher," the prospect says. "We're arriving now."
I nod my head in thanks. The dude's telling me something I already know.
"Oh, Preach," I hear the soft sound of Esme's voice and my heart races as I glance at her. She's pregnant, noticeably pregnant. She moves toward me, a little hesitant, and I fucking hate that. This woman is my brother's old lady. I'd lay my life down on the line for her. I open my arms and she rushes into them, crashing into me and holding on tight. "It's so good to see you," she tells me. "I'm so glad you're here."
How the fuck do I tell her that I'm not sure how long I'm here for? I shouldn't even have come.
"Is Reaper here?" I ask, my voice terse.
She shakes her head. "He's on his way with Ace. The other guys are here. They're waiting to see you."
My jaw clenches. Fuck, I don't want to see them. I only came to see Reaper, Ace, and Stag. Those men I trust. Those are the ones that I know without a doubt wouldn't judge me for the shit that's gone down. "Don't want to see them right now, Es."
She looks up at me, her cheeks red and her eyes wide. "Oh, um, of course. How about you wait in Ace's office while he and Grayson are on their way?" I nod and she leads the way.
