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Her eyes cut to the side, where one of the guard’s Q insisted on sending with us stands only ten feet away, his back to the front door. There’s another guard at the rear exit, as well. Can’t be too careful.
She tips her head to the side, and I follow the direction until we are a little further away from any third parties who don’t need to hear the details. “Honestly, I feel terrible. I’m tired all the time, and I’m starting to get really big. I might have to get shoes I don’t have to tie, since it’s getting harder to reach my feet. I’m dreading having to get up at night and pee all the time, too. That should start happening soon.”
But even as she says it, it’s obvious she’s thrilled out of her mind. She went through a lot before this pregnancy came along—she and Q both did. They deserve their happiness.
So why does my heart hurt so bad? Why don’t I get to have that same happiness? I want to tear through the store and make up a registry like a woman is doing right now, wandering around with her husband or boyfriend or whoever, aiming her little scanner gun at one thing after another while they glow with joy. I hate them.
“Hey. Are you okay?” Aspen touches a hand to my back, leaning in like she’s concerned. “I’m sorry. With everything you’re going through, you don’t need to hear about my?—”
“No, no. Don’t even think that,” I insist. “I am not going to be one of those people who won’t let anybody be happy around them. And Ren is going to get better. It’ll be okay.”
So why did my voice break just then? Why does it sound so much like I’m going to cry? Hormones, I guess.
“You know, it’s all right for you to not be okay,” she whispers while her hand moves in circles over my back. “Nobody’s going to judge you. You’ve been so strong. Sometimes, you have to take it easy on yourself and not expect so much after you’ve been through something difficult.”
“I know. You’re right. Really, though. I’ll be fine.”
“Tell that to the tear that just rolled down your cheek.” She pulls me in for a hug, which is a little awkward now that she’s getting so big, but I appreciate the gesture.
I also feel like a complete asshole for ruining the mood. Swiping a hand under my eyes, I mumble, “This is supposed to be about you, not me.”
She clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes once she lets me go. “Please. I’m not some heartless monster. You’re obviously going through it. I want to be here for you.”
She does, too. No matter what she’s been through, she is always loving and kind. It’s easy to see why Quinton fell for her.
Can I trust her? She’s never given me any reason not to, but then I’ve never told her anything this enormous. There are a lot of implications in something like this.
“I have to tell you something.” Now my heart is racing and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be sick, but at the same time, I don’t want to stop. I want to tell her. I can’t go through all of this on my own.
“You can tell me anything.” I notice the way she looks around to make sure neither of the guards has gotten any closer.
“I think… I think I might be pregnant, too.”
Her eyes fly open wide, and her mouth falls open before she catches herself. “Oh. Wow. Really? That’s… great?” She winces, gritting her teeth. “Sorry. I don’t know how you feel about it. How do you feel about it? I should’ve asked you that first.”
“It’s okay. I’m… I mean, I want to be happy, but…”
“I get it. Believe me.” She’s chewing her lip and there’s concern in her eyes as they search my face. “Your dad and your brother will have some pretty strong feelings about it.”
“I know, I know.” I roll my eyes and blow out a frustrated sigh. “Which is why I haven’t said anything yet.”
“How far along are you? Do you know?”
“I really don’t. I only know I’m super late. I was late even back at the cabin before I came home. And Ren didn’t use protection, so…” I can only shrug since it seems pretty obvious to me.
I can almost hear the plan click together in her head, while a look of determination hardens her features. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do.” If anything, I’m glad to hand the reins over to somebody else, so I don’t have to be the one thinking about things for once. “We’re going to have the driver take us to the pharmacy so you can get a test and make sure. I mean, you need to start taking vitamins and all that. The sooner, the better. We don’t want to lose any more time, right?”
Now, I’m so glad I told her. She has the luxury of seeing all of this from the outside, so she can think clearer than I can. “I’m in your hands.”
“Leave it to me.” Even though we haven’t bought anything, she links her arm with mine and leads me out of the store with the guards on our heels. Once we’re inside the car, she says, “Take us to the nearest drugstore, please.”
He looks at us in the rearview mirror. “That wasn’t planned on.”
“Well, sometimes lady problems aren’t planned on, you know?” Somehow, she manages to keep a straight face while he goes beet red in the mirror before starting the engine.
The closest store is only a few blocks away, as it turns out. She comes in with me but the bodyguards stand outside—-turns out even big, tough bodyguards don’t want to be around when lady problems are mentioned. I would laugh if I had it in me. Right now, I’m a little too nervous. I feel like there’s a spotlight on me as we walk down the aisle and come to a stop in front of a shelf full of various tests.
“Which one do I even take?” I can’t stop looking around, expecting somebody to discover us.
