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Now his gaze does flick over to meet mine. He studies me. “No other guys?”
I shake my head. “No other guys.”
Just you.
“Why would I want another guy when I have a hot hockey player in my bed? I’m not an idiot,” I add, wanting to keep things light so he doesn’t freak out and think I’m rushing him.
“Good,” he says, gruffly. “Because last night I was jealous when I thought you might be with a guy.”
“Really?” I can’t quite keep the glee out of my voice.
He nods. “Yes. It’s how I knew for sure what was what.” He frowns. “Don’t fucking gloat.”
I try to wipe the smile off my face, but I don’t succeed. “Sorry. Not sorry.”
Alexsei gives me a shove that makes me laugh. “You’re an asshole.”
“It’s one of my many charms.”
“Hardly.”
“So you just put up with me? Is that what you’re saying?” I ask.
“Something like that.” But he pulls up onto his elbow and studies me. “Why didn’t you say anything? About how you felt?”
My throat constricts again. “I didn’t want to risk losing our friendship. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“So you just slid in when you could?” Alexsei makes a face. “Jesus. I don’t mean that literally.”
I laugh and reach forward and kiss him. He’s adorable when he’s awkward. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you were with women with me, so you could be with me.”
I nod. “The first time wasn’t intentional. You know that. But then, I liked you and you seemed to like it. Then you told me it wasn’t serious, it was just sex, so I accepted that. Better to share you than not have you at all.”
“It might have started out that way for me, not serious, but somewhere along the way it changed without me knowing it. But you know I haven’t even dated anyone without you.”
“To be clear, I didn’t want to date women without you ever, but they do add to the fun. I was attracted to how attracted to you they were.” It’s probably more complicated than that, but I just choose to let it be what it was. “And like you, I liked some of those women more than others. I really did like Sara as a person.”
“What about Luna?”
That makes me shake my head, genuinely bewildered. “She’s different. I am honestly attracted to her. I want to shake her and fuck her all at the same time. She’s something special, she really is.”
“So you want to keep seeing her?” He rubs his mouth. “Because I don’t think I can quit her.”
“I don’t want you to quit seeing her. I know you have feelings for her. Strong feelings for her.” He actually loves her. I can see it in the way he looks at her and I’m always going to be happy that he’s happy. “Like I said, Luna is different. I like her, too.”
“Good. We’ll just feel our way through this?”
“I’m definitely going to do a lot of feeling my way through this. And I do mean that literally.”
He snorts. “That was bad.”
I don’t even try to deny it. But I’m feeling uncharacteristically goofy right now. I’m not even sure who the fuck I am right now, because I’m so damn happy I could easily be jump-on-the-bed guy in about two seconds.
Then Alexsei drops down on the mattress and rolls on his side. His rough, masculine hand lands on my stomach, which makes my muscles tense. “So, how long have you been in love with me?”
I turn and take in the sharp angles of his jaw, his long nose, those eyelashes that would make a woman jealous. The little scar above his brow that he told me was from falling off his bike as a toddler. “Not that long. Just since the first day I met you.”
