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Petros had warned me not to touch Alfie again, and I’d stuck by it, touching myself instead to the sound of Petros’ headboard in the depths of the night. Shame fuelled my lust even as I wallowed in my hatred of Alfie.
I couldn’t bring myself to hate Petros, no matter how hard I tried. He’d suffered, at my side as much as anywhere else. I’d looked past him, forever expecting him to remain by my side. To be there when I was ready.
But could I ever be ready to give him what Alfie did? To open up to him and let him in?
Not when I knew I didn’t deserve his adoration. That I used it to spur me on, but I knew I didn’t deserve it.
I could take no more.
I stood in front of Petros’ door and rapped against it with a tight fist.
He pulled it open a few moments later, looking more relaxed than I’d ever seen him. The tension across his jaw was gone, and he leaned against the door frame looking at me.
‘Yes?’
How times had so quickly changed. Pre-Alfie, he would have been ready to follow me at the drop of a hat.
‘We need to go to Rosenhall. Alfie is well enough by the sounds of it.’
Alfie relaxed back against the headboard, his tattooed chest bare, and Petros’ jogging bottoms bunched around his hips.
‘Have you been listening to us, Harriet?’
A white-hot flash of anger flared, and I fought to keep it at bay, ignoring his remark entirely.
‘I’m serious. I’m done waiting. If you guys aren’t ready to leave your cum hole then I’ll go myself.’
I turned to leave, but Petros’ warm hand reached out and took my arm gently. The tender touch almost broke me.
‘Wait. You’re right. We can’t keep putting it off,’ Petros said.
Snatching my arm away like he’d scalded me, I turned to face them.
‘What day is it?’ Alfie asked, standing up from the bed and making the sweatpants sink dangerously low on his hips. Each step made them slip a little further. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. His stomach and chest were still littered with fresh red scars. I didn’t know what affected me more—lust or guilt.
‘It’s Monday, why?’
‘The staff usually have the day off on Tuesdays. Grieves will be there, but if you want the best chance of sneaking in without being apprehended, it’s then.’
‘Will this Grieves call the police?’ It won’t be a problem to silence him.
‘No. I don’t think so. He’s the one who practically raised me. I trust him more than anyone else. Pretty much.’ He took a quick glance at Petros before a pink tinged his cheeks.
Fucking barf.
‘I sure hope you’re right. I won’t have anyone sabotage this. Not you and your lying tongue, and not some aged butler either.’
‘It’ll be okay,’ Petros said. He looked like he was about to reach out and pull me into his arms like he used to. I used to hate it. The pity drove me insane. But now, I craved his strong arms reassuring me more than ever. His arm froze in hesitation before dropping back to his side. Another dagger to my heart.
He’d found someone more worthy of his love than me.
Who could blame him?
‘Tomorrow evening, then,’ I said before leaving them to their happiness. Needing to get into Rosenhall was the only thing stopping me from sneaking in and cutting their miserable cocks off in the night.
TWENTY-SEVEN
PETROS
