AllFreeNovel
Share Us
ROWAN
After speaking with the staff at the assisted living facility about Aunt Jenny’s move, I went to her room.
I noticed immediately that she was distant, lost somewhere between the cracks of this horrible, horrible disease.
I pull a chair next to her bed, where she lies on her back, relaxed against stacked pillows. Her hands are folded over her stomach. I notice her bare fourth finger and a deep sadness comes over me. Aunt Jenny’s ex-husband and estranged son care so little about her that they are unwilling to come to her aid during the final phase of her life. Jenny will die all alone, no soulmate, life-partner, to hold her hand.
“Good morning, Aunt Jenny,” I say gently.
When I receive no response, I settle into the chair and quietly watch the shallow rise and fall of her chest as our last conversation about my marriage trickles through my memory.
“Aunt Jenny, Shepherd said you snapped at him this morning.”
“I don’t remember.”
“Well please try to remember that’s it hard for him to have someone else living in the house now.”
“It’s hard for me to see you with him.”
“Jenny, that’s not nice.”
“He’s no good for you, Rowan.”
“Why do you say that?”
“He is your everything, but you are not his. It’s always been that way. From the first day I met Shepherd, I noticed how you tended to his every need, from refilling his drink to clearing his plate after lunch. All these years later, you still do that, but never once have I seen him do that for you.” A moment passed. “It was exactly like this with your mother and father.”
I bristled, but fought the defensiveness that shot up my spine the moment she mentioned my parents. The doctor warned us that aggression and mood changes were a common side effect of Alzheimer’s. His advice? Ride it out.
“Your mother, my sister, was always so insecure,” she continued. “Always dependent on others for her self-worth. She married your dad two days after she turned eighteen, despite our parents’ protest. She stayed with him no matter what he did. I remember one time, at two in the morning, she called me, begging for bail to get him out of jail. She was completely inconsolable, completely out of her head with worry for him. She could not live a single day without him. He was her entire purpose for life.”
“And I, her child, was not.”
“That’s correct. And I see her in you, Rowan.”
“That’s why I’m not having kids, Aunt Jenny.”
“No, you aren’t hearing me. Your marriage is uneven.”
“Shep is looking for a job. He’ll get back to work soon.”
“I’m not only speaking financially. I’m talking abut emotionally. There is no empathy in that man, whatsoever. It’s odd. You bend over backward for him but there is no return in favor.”
I looked down, took a deep breath.
“At the end of the day, Rowan, someone has to break the cycle. Someone has to stand up and say, this is not good for me…”
Jenny’s eyes open. She turns her head to me, her gaze intense as if she can hear my thoughts.
There is no well, hello, or, good to see you. Instead:
“What’s wrong, Rowan?”
To my complete shock, a flood of emotions rushes through my chest. Tears fill my eyes, a knot grabs my throat.
“Jenny,” I say, all but choking on the words. “Things aren’t okay.”
“I know, Rowan.”
