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“Hey, you’re here now. It’s gonna be okay. Can I come closer? I won’t hurt you. I know I look different but I would never hurt you, Evie.”
I swiped at my tears and forced myself out from behind the car. I believed his words. I believed he wouldn’t hurt me. I moved shakily towards him as he slowly came down the steps. His eyes never left mine, and I realized he was watching my reaction, in case I freaked out as he got closer.
“I forgot how tiny you are,” he laughed as he stopped just a few feet before me. I laughed through my tears as memories of all the short jokes, which he used to playfully taunt me with when we were together, flashed through my head.
“I am not short!” I cried, just as I had each and every time he called me short so many years ago. “Five and a h-half feet is average height f-for a woman,” I sniffled as I looked up at him. His eyes were jade green, just as I remembered, but they didn’t seem to sparkle the way they used to. Lines were visible on his brow, and now I was close I could see the scars on his chin ran under his shirt collar and down his neck. They looked like a mix of burns and cuts. I instantly realized they were likely the result of an explosion.
“It’s still me,” he said, startling me. “I know I look fucked up, but I’m still me, sweetheart.”
“You do not look fucked up. Don’t say that!” I snapped angrily, feeling a small spark of old Evie for the first time in so long. I just hated him talking about himself that way.
“There she is,” he chuckled as a tiny smile graced his face.
“You…erm, did get a whole lot bigger. What do you do to work out? Bench press this huge ass house?” I waved my hand to the house behind him, and he smiled even wider.
I shivered as the wind picked up around us, whipping at me through the thins sweater I had changed into that morning.
“Come on. Come inside and get warm, then you can tell me what’s going on and why your brothers haven’t handled it already.” He held his arm out, but didn’t wrap it around me as I thought he was going to, instead he held it out, ushering me towards the door.
I nodded and walked ahead of him up the steps and in through the huge open doorway. Harris followed me in and closed the door loudly, startling me so badly a small squeak escaped me. I jumped around on instinct and found Harris staring at me with concern.
“Sorry,” he whispered, almost like he dare not make another sound.
“No…it’s me. Sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say so instead I busied myself pulling off my sneakers.
“You can keep your shoes on,” Harris laughed.
“No way. My mom….she’d kill me if she knew I didn’t take my shoes off in someone’s home,” I gasped.
“That’s right. She was a stickler for that rule. How is she?” he asked as he too, toed off his boots, then walked past me and into a wide open plan living space that was stunning.
I looked to Harris and fought not to cry again at the realization I couldn’t answer that question. I didn’t know how my mom was, but I was sure she was freaking out not knowing where I was for months and months. Harris looked horrified when the emotion became too much and my lip started to tremble as tears ran free.
“I’m sorry,” I squeaked as I fought to hold it all in.
“Fuck Evie,” Harris sighed as he moved closer to me like he wanted to hold me, but he stopped himself. “What’s going on, sweetheart? Talk to me.”
Instead I took the last step into him and wrapped my arms as far as I could around his waist, clinging to him and burying my face in his shirt as I just sobbed hard. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I just needed to feel touch. I needed to remember what it was to be comforted. It had been months since I had that, and those months had felt like years.
Harris wrapped his arms around me and the scent of his familiar cologne, still the same as he had worn when I knew him before, surrounded me, along with all of his strength and heat and I just fell apart right there in his arms. He may not look like the kid I dated so many years before, anymore, but he still hugged like him.
That familiarity was enough to have me falling apart. I had barely cried since I got away from Soloman, terrified if I opened the floodgates, I would never get them closed again, but it was all coming out now.
After a few minutes, and when my sobs showed no sign of slowing, Harris picked me up. I didn’t know where we were going, but we ended up on a sofa and I found myself on his lap, his arms tight around me. He held me tightly and didn’t say a word. He just let me cry. And I did. I cried buckets because for the first time since I was taken from that parking lot I actually felt safe enough to let go for a little while.
I don’t know how long I just sat there, curled into my ex-boyfriend who I hadn’t seen for almost a decade, sobbing my heart out, but it went on for some time as all of the emotion I had been fighting to hold in, came flooding out. But Harris didn’t question me, or even try to get me to calm down. He just held me tightly and let me have the time I needed
Eventually the tears dried up, or at least I was too exhausted to keep on going. Thankfully, something triggered me to get it together and when I eventually lifted my head and met Harris’s face, I was filled with embarrassment for the way I had behaved.
“God, I’m s-so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” I told him, my throat hoarse and voice raspy. I jumped up off of his lap and backed away a few steps, swiping the last of the tears from my face as I did. “I…I didn’t mean to. I just…seeing you…” I didn’t even know how to end that rambled statement.
“Ev, it’s okay. I mean, sure, I’m shocked as hell that you’re here after all of these years, but none of that matters. You need me, I’ll always be here for you. I never stopped caring about you.”
“Same,” I replied as I looked to him with a soft smile. “I missed you.” He returned my smile with one of his own. It wasn’t the beaming grin I remembered of him, more just the hint of a smile, but it reassured me.
“Come sit back down. Do you want something to drink, or eat? Have you eaten today?” he asked as he patted the seat beside him.
“Coffee would be good, if you have some?” I took a seat on the soft leather sectional beside him and wiped at my face again. I was sure I looked a state. Thankfully I didn’t have any make-up on to run down my face, but I was not a pretty crier and I knew my face would be all red and blotchy and my eyes puffy and red too.
