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I turned to face her and leaned on the vanity where you applied your makeup.
“So you know everything about how I’m feeling? It would have been nice had you told me.”
“You wouldn’t have believed me. Elias needed to show you that you were still very much in love with him. I don’t blame you. He’s always been a catch and treated you like gold.”
“Except after he moved to London.”
“I mean, he was just trying to make something of himself. He wasn’t born like you, Capri.”
I grabbed my chest. “I didn’t meet my dad until I was nine. You don’t think that fucked with me?”
“It doesn’t change the fact that your mom made sure you had the love of both parents and gave you everything you ever wanted.”
“I know, but that doesn’t change the pain I went through before I had him in my life.”
“You’ve never said anything about it. Not even to me.”
“What was I supposed to say?”
“Exactly what you are right now.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t want to seem ungrateful for the life my mother provided for me before he came into our lives.”
“Does your dad know about this?”
“Absolutely not, and he’s not going to.”
“You don’t think he deserves to know?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because he didn’t know about me.”
“Does that mean you’re mad at your mom for keeping you a secret from him?”
“No…”
“No?” Her eyebrows pinched together. “I’m not a therapist by any means, but I don’t think it takes one to figure out that you’re scared of him choosing his career over you again because if you think about it… your dad kind of did something similar to your mom. And then when you add in your mom keeping you a secret from your father for her own gain, it kind of leads you to believe that you’ve always been second place to the people you love.”
I jerked back. “She had a right to do that after what he did to her.”
“I know that, but again, that doesn’t change that they all put their own needs before yours, and that’s going to fuck you up.”
I had to sit down from the impact of her theory. “Wow.”
“What can I say?” She shrugged in her defense. “I was a psych major.”
“Okay, psych major, what’s your treatment plan?”
“I think you have to share this with your parents and Elias. I think it would help you heal.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to hurt them.”
“Well, all you’re doing in the meantime is hurting yourself.”
I swallowed hard.
