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“By the look of things, that backfired on you,” I reply, unable to hide my sarcastic tone.
“Yeah. After I told her I just wanted to be friends, that’s when she told me she could change my mind, and then she kissed me. You walked in right at that moment. I didn’t kiss her, Holland.” He drags a hand through his dark hair. “Fuck, I didn’t see her put that stupid hair thingy on the door, either. It’s all just so fucked up.”
“You’re right about that.”
“I’m sorry.” Eli gives the sleeve of my shirt a gentle tug. “Tonight was just fucking weird. But I had to find you and let you know what was up. Even if you don’t believe that I would have asked you to dance, I still meant every word of what I said to you. It wasn’t pity. And I had no plans to bang Mandi in your room. Trust me, okay?”
I shake my head. “Those are two little words that people use far too carelessly, in my opinion. Trust has to be earned.”
Eli studies me for a moment, then nods. “Yeah, you’re right. I have no right to ask you to trust me. But will you forgive me?”
I flip my hoodie up to cover my hair, then give him a sideways glance. “Why do you need me to forgive you? Why do you even care?”
“Because you’re the only person in this whole fucking school that always tells me the truth, whether I want to hear it or not. And whether you believemeor not, I value that. You don’t know how much.”
From the way he’s looking at me—his expression serious, his gaze direct—I can’t help but believe him.
And maybe I shouldn’t, but I want to forgive him. I don’t like being angry with him. It makes me feel weirdly unsettled and off-balance.
“I forgive you,” I say quietly.
“Thank you.” He closes his eyes and lets out a breath. “I really mean that.”
Exhaustion suddenly hits me full on and seeps into my bones. The emotional weight of this day has made me weary as hell.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure,” I murmur.
“Earlier tonight, you said that I was just like the rest of them. Who did you mean by ‘them?’ Linc and Chase?”
“Really?” I raise an eyebrow. “That’swhat you remembered from that conversation?”
“Other than the fact that seeing you cry broke my fucking heart, yeah.”
His words take me by complete surprise, but I don’t want him to see that it’s affected me, so I keep my expression neutral. “Huh. And here I thought you would remember the ‘total fucking jerk’ part.”
The corner of his mouth kicks up. “Well, I didn’t exactly forget that part.”
Biting down on my lip, I contemplate if I’m ready to divulge this information to him. I’ve already been ripped apart emotionally tonight, and I feel raw. Stripping myself down further... I’m not sure it’s a good idea.
“I just got the feeling ‘them’ was meant for something bigger than Linc or Chase,” he says, studying me.
“Not many guys would pick up on that,” I reply, hugging my knees to my chest. “But yeah, you’re right.”
We sit silently for a few moments, and he gives me the space I need to mentally prepare myself. He doesn’t push me to tell my story, and I appreciate that.
So eventually, I start talking.
“When I was in my junior year of high school, I had a huge crush on this football player, Clay, who was in my third-year Spanish class. Other than exchanging a few words in class here and there, we didn’t really talk. We were at opposite ends of the high school social system. Clay was popular, good-looking, and an athlete. I was one of the smart kids. I didn’t have a lot of friends, and the ones I did have... well, they were just like me. I kept my head down and studied in school. I worked on the yearbook committee. You get the picture.”
Eli nods.
Dipping my hand into the fountain, I make circles in the water with my fingers, not caring that it is ice-cold. The shock of the temperature pulls me out of my exhausted state.
“Clay started falling behind, and he asked if I’d tutor him. As I’m sure you know, athletes have to keep up their grades or get kicked off the team.
“Of course, I was thrilled he’d asked me, and I agreed. Three times a week, I went over to his house and helped him do his homework, review vocabulary words, and prepare for tests. He paid me well, but that was just a nice bonus. I wanted to be around him because I really liked him. He’d always seemed like a really nice guy.”
