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“I see what you’re trying to do here, but I was never unfaithful to you while we were together.”

“But you’ve been unfaithful since then.”

I shook my head. “Whatever. You’re right. I’ve been cheating on you since we broke up.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s not funny.”

“It is from where I’m standing.”

“Here’s what I propose-”

“That you leave and don’t come back?”

“No.” She took a deep breath through her nose. “That we call it even and start again with a clean slate.”

I put my hands on her shoulders. “It means a lot to me that you want to give this another chance. Unfortunately I don’t.”

“But-”

“Remember the last time we talked? How you said I was too nice? That it was so easy to cheat on me? Do you really think I should give you another chance after you said that stuff?”

“But I love you.”

“Well, if I thought your words meant something, I’d be flattered. Now if you would kindly give me my key and my shirt.”

“Will you at least think about it?”

“No.”

“I’m going to take that as a maybe.”

“Don’t.”

“Say maybe or I won’t leave.”

“Maybe,” I said.

She smiled, held up my key, and put it on the counter.

I snatched it and finished my thought. “Maybe I’ll have amnesia and forget what a selfish, unfeeling bitch you are. Then maybe I’ll take you back.”

Her jaw dropped.

“But don’t count on it.”

She crossed her arms and fumed as I walked to the door and opened it.

“Hey close that! I’m not even dressed!”

I closed it and started to count. “10…9…8…”

She took my shirt off, threw it over the chair, and walked over to her crumpled dress on the couch.

“7…6…5…”

She slipped it over her head, smoothed it down, and grabbed her purse.

“4…3…2…”

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