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“Oh, that’s not for her. It’s for me,” Trevor replied as his cheeks blazed crimson.
“Okayyy. Guess that’s what I get for asking,” I chuckled.
Savannah let out a squeal from across the store. Trevor and I raced over to see what she’d found.
“This is it!” Sanna exclaimed. Struggling, she picked up the biggest butt plug I had ever seen. Its base was at least twenty inches in diameter and the tapered tip was as big as a soda can. The damn thing was heavy as hell from the way she strained to hold it in both arms.
“You’re kidding, right?” I gasped. “That thing’s big enough for an elephant.”
“Lord, sister. I’m scared.” Trevor’s eyes were wide with fear. “If Daddy brought that mother home, I wouldn’t even pack my bags. I’d just run out the door like the hounds of hell were nippin’ at my heels.”
“Why on earth would you want to buy her that?” I asked in disbelief.
“It’s an inside joke. Trust me, she’ll get it.” Savannah winked.
“This can’t be. No way is this thing made for human consumption. I mean, there’s not an asshole on the planet that could stretch that much and still work the way it’s supposed to. I’m just sayin’.” Trevor shuddered.
“Hey, did you find the lube?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “But if you insist on buying her that terrifying monster, she’s going to need more, a lot more. Like a cement mixer of lube.”
“She’s not going to use it,” Savannah laughed.
“No shit!” Trevor barked, still gazing at the plug in a combination of terror and shock.
“I think it’ll make the perfect centerpiece for the party, don’t you?” Savannah preened.
“Centerpiece? Oh, now I understand. You scared me,” Trevor sighed in relief before a mischievous twinkle danced in his eyes. “I think we should shove a sparkler in the tip and light that sucker up!”
“That’s a perfect idea,” Sanna squealed.
“I found the penis sippers,” Julianna sang out as she hurried toward us waving a handful of plastic cock-tipped straws in the air. “Oh, and I also found this lovely, albeit tacky, bridal veil. It’s got a real imitation rhinestone tiara. She’ll be so excited. Plus, get this. The veil lights up with flashing neon dicks. They’ll see her coming a mile away.”
“Oh, I want one of those,” Trevor giggled.
“Two rows over on the left,” Julianna pointed with a chuckle. Blinking, she stared slack-jawed at the massive plug.
“It’s the centerpiece,” I laughed.
“I’m speechless,” Julianna gulped.
After doing damage to our credit cards at the toy store, we stopped for lunch at a Mexican restaurant. I suggested a pitcher of margaritas and was adamantly shot down. Not only was Julianna breastfeeding, but I learned my sister, Trevor, and Leagh had recently spent a memorable afternoon at Maurizio’s consuming copious amounts of wine. Evidently, the three got so wasted their Doms had to fetch them from the ladies’ room. I’d have paid money to be a fly on the wall that night.
Savannah wrinkled her nose. “It wasn’t pretty.”
After lunch, we decided to go window-shopping—which of course, turned into power shopping—and I soon discovered my sister had grown into quite the shoe whore. I had no room to talk, especially after finding a pair of sinfully sexy red satin designer stilettos. Perfect for the red backless gown I intended to wear to Joshua Lars’ gala the following night.
Julianna was first to throw in the towel, not because she was tired of shopping, but Mika had called her cell phone. Once she heard her baby squalling in the background, motherhood superseded shopping.
“Tristan won’t have a thing to do with the bottle of breast milk I left. I swear it’s like I’ve given birth to a clone of Mika. Neither one of them are truly satisfied unless they’ve got my tit in their mouth,” she laughed.
We quickly said our goodbyes and drove home, then Savannah and I spent the rest of the day wrapping Leagh’s gifts. When our task was done, we sat out on the deck sipping wine while Dylan and Nick prepared dinner.
“Mel, do you ever think about living somewhere besides Phoenix?”
“Sometimes, but not often,” I replied. “Why?”
“I just wish you lived closer. I know the winters here scare you. After Mom and Dad’s accident, I understand you wanting to move someplace without ice and snow. It’s just that the fear doesn’t have to control you. You can grow past it. I did. I know you can too. Besides, I know it’s selfish, but I miss you. I mean, all the time.”
