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Guilt tingled at the tips of my toes and crawled up my body like a cold, slippery eel. I’d used the death of our parents to spin a web of lies, concocting an excuse of being afraid of ice and snow to run away like a spineless wimp.
“My first winter here, the three of us went out to dinner, but before we could get back home, the weather turned horrible. The road was a sheet of ice. It took all the strength I had not to have a full-blown panic attack. I told them I was scared, and do you know what they did?”
I shook my head, still unable to look her in the eyes.
“They comforted me…reassured me. They actually talked me off the ledge, and ever since that day, I’ve been fine. They helped me conquer my fear. I don’t have a phobia about dying the way Mom and Dad did anymore.”
Sweet Savannah, trying so hard to sort out my life. What would she do…what would she say if she ever found out I’d lied to her? I’d kept my dirty, little secret from the one person on the planet who I loved more than life. If I ripped open the lid and spilled my guts, it would scald her to the core, but dammit, I couldn’t keep hurting her this way. I had to tell her the truth.
“That’s not the reason I left Kansas City,” I mumbled.
Sanna set her glass down and stared at me with a shocked expression. Her gaze all but burned my skin. “Then why did you leave?”
“I had to get away from someone.”
“Me?” she whispered, her words slathered in rejection.
“Hell, no!” I shook my head as her words stabbed my heart. Did she honestly think I left because of her? “No! No! Not you. It was because of a guy.”
“Who?” she gasped. “Did someone hurt you?”
“Physically? No. Emotionally? He crushed me,” I confessed on a shameful whisper.
“Tell me who, Mel. Tell me right now,” Savannah demanded.
“You don’t know him. He was a Dom I met at a club in Kansas City. He called himself ‘Chain Master’,” I scoffed derisively. “He was my Master for nine months.”
“What did he do to you?” Her voice quivered, and tears filled her eyes.
“Why are you crying?” I asked, choking back the emotion clogging my throat.
“Because whatever he did must have been horrific and vile if it made you leave your home and me.”
My walls within crumbled, and tears spilled down my cheeks. Savannah knelt in front of my chair and held me as I sobbed. “I’m so sorry. I had no business leaving you alone when you were so young. You must think I’m the most selfish bitch on the planet.”
“No. I don’t think that at all. Stop that. I turned out just fine,” Sanna declared as she held me tight, rocking me in her arms. “You’re scaring me, Mel. Please tell me what happened.”
I didn’t know where to start, but as the memories flooded through me, along with the slick, ugly revulsion I fought for months after, I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes. “I met Davis right before your senior year of high school. I found the club not long after I moved back home, after Mom and Dad…anyway, Master walked in one night and swept me off my feet. He was suave and sophisticated; well, he wore the persona. Supposedly, he’d been a well-respected member of a club on the east coast.”
“Didn’t anyone do a background check on him?” Sanna asked.
“Oh, I’m sure he was vetted like everyone else. He was liked by many in the club. I thought he was the real deal until he uncollared me like he did.”
Pausing for a moment, I stared at my sister. Worry etched her face and her eyes brimmed with anguish. I didn’t want to tell her the gory details, but I’d opened the lid on the keg of shit. I couldn’t close it again until I’d confessed everything. Staring off at the horizon, the fateful night came rushing back in full living color. Every sight, sound, and smell filled my brain.
“I walked into the club one night, anxious to see him. He sat at a small table in the back of the social area with a young redheaded girl. She was giggling and batting her big blue eyes at him like he was a damn god or something. A hush fell over the crowd, and everyone stared as if they knew something I didn’t. It’s funny, I always thought they were my friends, but no one ever pulled me aside to tell me what my Master had really been up to.”
“What had he been doing, Mel?”
“He’d been scening with her, dominating and fucking her behind my back.” I shrugged. “I know a Dom playing with another sub isn’t a big deal, but the fact that he never told me about her…wasn’t honest with me was like a knife to the heart. I trusted him, believed in him…in us. I should have known something was up; things between us had started getting strained. I’d chalked it up to him being stressed out about work, so I just focused more on pampering him and trying to make him happy. I was such an idiot.”
“Stop saying that. It’s not your fault the bastard lied to you and your so-called friends didn’t bother to tell you what he’d been up to, either. How the hell were you supposed to know?”
“I shouldn’t have ever trusted him, but hindsight is always twenty-twenty, right?” I scoffed. “Anyway, I walked up to the table. He looked up at me like he’d seen a ghost. His shock turned to anger instantly, and he looked down at his watch and started barking questions at me. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to the club early, bunny? You’re supposed to tell me where you’re at and what you’re doing. Or did my rules escape your tiny little brain? I don’t appreciate you sneaking in and checking up on me, slut. That shows a real lack of trust on your part.’
“We both knew I’d busted him, but he tried to gaslight me and blame me, to save face look like some bad-ass Dom in front of his fuck toy and the other members. He totally stunned me. I had no idea what to say to him, because he’d never verbally berated me before. The whole room was thick with tension, and that’s when the redhead asked if she could leave the table. She actually asked his permission,” I scoffed. “I wanted to knock her teeth straight down her throat.”
“You should have, Mel. Dammit,” Sanna groused.
