Page 63 of Arouse Me


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“You’ve never experienced two lovers at once?”

“No, Sir.”

“Tell me your feelings about it.”

My mind zipped back to the night of his opening and the comments his friend Ian had made. “The idea both arouses and intrigues me, but…”

“Continue.” His face was unreadable. His eyes like placid pools of ocean water. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and I didn’t like it. “It is something you fantasize about?”

“Yes, Sir,” I whispered and cast my eyes toward the floor.

“That’s nothing to be embarrassed about, little one.”

“I can’t help it, Sir. I’ve not shared my fantasies before. It’s…awkward.”

“I understand, but you’re doing fine. I’m extremely grateful for your honesty.”

“You’ve shared women before, haven’t you?”

“Yes. I have. It’s a remarkable experience.”

“With Ian?”

“Lately, yes.” He pondered for a moment. “Answer me honestly, Mellie. How would you feel if I wanted to share you with Ian?”

Heat flooded my face. My body screamed, ‘fan-fucking-tastic’. His friend was hands-down hot. But my brain flipped into hyper-analytical-overdrive, and a tide of insecurities swamped me.

“I’m torn, Sir. I think the bodily experience would be, like you said, incredible. But the emotional side of it…I’m not sure. I don’t have sex with someone I don’t feel a connect—”

I stopped in mid-sentence. Feel a connection with. From the very start, I’d tried to convince myself that Joshua was nothing more than a scratch to my itch. Nothing more than a one-night stand. Though I’d only had one in my life, the guilt after made me feel dirty and cheap. But that hadn’t happened with Joshua. Puzzled that remorse hadn’t swallowed me whole, I’d convinced myself that obsessing over him so fiercely was the reason the ugly self-reproach had never materialized.

It hadn’t been his dominant nature that scared the crap out of me that first night. He’d connected with me, touched something deep inside that I’d never realized. He’d somehow linked with me on some strange and primitive level I didn’t understand. It hadn’t been about bedding the famous artist, or flirting with the fringes of submission. No, it ran much deeper, and subconsciously, I knew. That’s why I ran.

Keeping men an arm’s length away, I never had to worry about giving them a piece of my heart. The notion that Joshua had chipped off a fragment of mine, without my knowledge—like a thief in the night—sent panic slamming through me with a red-hot shot of adrenaline.

“I’ve got to go.” Launching up from the floor like a rocket, Joshua reared back. The look of shock and confusion on his face surely mirrored my own.

“Whoa. Hold on,” he declared as he grabbed my arm and spun me to face him. “Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and focus on my voice. You’ve hit an internal trigger, and from the looks of it, a big one.”

Panting as panic consumed me, I shook my head. “I can’t.”

In a voice so calm I wanted to scream, Joshua placed his hand over my eyes and pulled me against his naked body. His turgid cock throbbed against my belly, and his arm banded around my waist scorched me. “Breathe with me, Mellie. Nice and slow. Breath in, now let it out. Again. In and out.”

Keeping time with his steady rhythm, I wrestled the bristling barbs of fear biting within.

“It’s okay. Everything is fine. I’ve got you.” The deep timber of his soothing voice sent a shiver down my spine. “It’s this crazy connection we share, right?”

How the fuck did he know that? Maybe he was a freaking psychic.

I nodded slightly as panic and confusion took on a whole new meaning. Sliding his hand from my eyes, his features were drawn in concern. He seemed as unhinged about it as me, and for that, I was grateful. I didn’t want to be the only one spazzing out over this weird vibe we shared.

“I feel it too, that incredible draw, like a fiber that’s connecting us to each other. I felt it the first time I saw you at the gallery and how emotional you got staring at the sculpture I gave you. In some bizarre way, she’s you. Or the embodiment of you. I know that sounds totally insane, but I swear, I’m not crazy. Whatever this is…whatever it means, we’ll sort it out. But running away from it and from me? That isn’t an option. I won’t allow it, Mellie.”

He’d actually felt it. What did it mean?

“Look, I’m sorry I panicked. I’m confused. I think you’ve ruined me.”

“Ruined you? How?” He blinked, shocked by my claim.

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