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“After that first night with Scott, I didn’t understand how…Oh hell, I’m screwing this all up.”
“You were with Scotty? Scotty from Maurizio’s?”
“Yes…I mean, no. I didn’t want to be with him…he wanted…”
A knowing grin tugged the corners of his mouth. “You did what I did, didn’t you?”
All the tension fell from my face. “I don’t know. What did you do?”
“Last night, I was supposed to be with the guys at Tony’s bachelor party, but I bowed out. You knocked me clean off plumb the night before. I’d been seeing someone for a few weeks, so I called her. I thought I could…” He gave a sheepish shrug. “Fuck you out of my system.”
Boy, that sounded familiar.
“But sitting with her at dinner, I couldn’t stop comparing her to you. The shape of her face wasn’t right. Her eyes were the wrong color. Her laugh sounded like fighting chickens. I faked a headache and cut the night short. When I got home, I lay in bed—the bed we’d shared—and relived every single second I’d had you with me.”
“But you knew who I was. You knew how to find me. Why didn’t you just come to the house?”
“For the same reason you ran away from me, Mellie. You scared the shit out of me.” His face fell; he looked lost. “What happened with Scotty?”
“Nothing. I didn’t try to have sex with him,” I assured. “He kissed me at the bachelorette party, and it felt so wrong I wanted to gag. I shoved him off me and told him no. He wasn’t being a jerk or anything. In fact, he apologized. It didn’t make sense. I mean, you’d done something to me. Okay, look, I met Scotty the night before and, I can’t lie. I probably would have gone to bed with him eventually. But after being with you, I couldn’t stand the thought of being with him. What the hell did you do to me? None of this makes sense.”
Joshua chuckled. “No, it doesn’t. It’s a strange and wonderful feeling, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but…” A sense of foreboding landed in my gut. “But you and me…it’s never going to work. You know that, right?”
He didn’t answer, just clenched his jaw.
“It can’t, Joshua. I live in Phoenix. I have a company to run. I can’t just close up shop and shuck off my responsibilities for some crazy-assed connection we don’t even understand. Seriously, it might just be the right combination of hormones and pheromones.”
“I know.” He nodded. Disappointment flickered in his eyes. I felt the same hollow ache inside. “After what you said at the wedding reception, I tried to rationalize away my attraction to you. But when I’m with you, all rationale goes straight out the window. I want you, Mellie…want you for as many days as I can have you.”
“I want you too,” I sighed. “I haven’t felt this ridiculous since high school.”
“Look. We don’t have to figure this out right now. Not tomorrow or the next day. Things happen for a reason, and while we don’t know what that reason is yet, let’s just relax and let it happen. It’ll reveal itself in time.”
“And you don’t think all this is a little insane?” I asked, arching a brow at his passive acceptance.
“Oh, it’s as crazy as a shithouse rat, but…” He shrugged. “Instead of trying to analyze the piss out of it, let’s just see where it takes us.”
“Where it takes us?” I gasped. “I feel like I bought a one-way ticket on a runaway freight train. I know where it’s going to take us.”
“No, you suspect. Look, instead of freaking out, try to take comfort in the fact that I’m on the damn thing too. If it goes down in flames, I’ll be right there beside you, okay?”
The inevitable end to this surreal bliss plowed through me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on. Willingly jumping on board, I knew I was in for a hell of a ride. I just hoped in the end it would all be worth it.
Without a word, Joshua picked me up and carried me to his bed. I tried to sort out my stormy emotions as he silently held me in his arms. I’d only known the man a few short days, but the instant attraction we shared was outrageous.
Trying to pacify all the riotous emotions, I worked on convincing myself that once I returned home and settled into a regular routine, the craziness would pass. But all that did was bring a stab to my heart with a well-honed blade. I didn’t want this to end. I wanted what I couldn’t have…Joshua.
The day had been a rollercoaster of emotions, but in a way, our conversation felt cathartic. At least we shared the same mystified emotions, and lying in Joshua’s arms as he threaded his fingers through my hair felt better than right. It felt like perfection.
The fringes of sleep tried to pull me under, but Joshua’s soft lips drew me back to the surface.
“Make love to me,” I whispered on a wistful sigh.
“How could I refuse such a lovely request?” he murmured.
Inching his lean body over mine, I moaned at the feel of his hot, soft skin. Our bodies meshed together, and strangely, it felt more profound than the first time. His kisses were slower, more passionate; his touches teemed in adoration. The methodical way he unraveled me was the complete opposite from our rush to rut a few short days ago.
