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At least with my sister, my footing was sure and sturdy. I didn’t have to worry about falling through the cracks and landing on my ass.
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I’d like it if you stayed. I know I’ve treated you poorly and made you uncomfortable, but if you can find it in your heart, I’d like the chance to redeem myself.”
“I’d like to, but I’m afraid if I stay, you won’t be able to sort out the things you need to.”
“Probably not, but the distraction would be a welcome relief from the…” He scrubbed a hand through his hair and let out a soft sigh. “Stay, Mellie.”
He wasn’t asking me to help him sort his emotions. No, this was a cry for help. He wanted me to stay and chase away the demons so he wouldn’t spend the rest of the night reliving the past. I recognized the underlying anguish in his request. Sanna and I had shared the same unspoken language for years. We could talk for hours about surface things; it comforted and kept us from delving too deeply into grief. But every once in a while, the darkness descended and having someone beside you brought the light you desperately needed.
“Okay,” I whispered.
A broad smile spread over his lips and my heart did a little flip-flop in my chest. Joshua ordered a pizza, and we sat on his bed, drinking soda and watching a rom-com. The movie was about a girl who lost her memory every night, and a man determined to make her fall back in love with him every day.
I almost envied her. What a blessing it would be to wake up each morning alone without retaining a single memory of the incredible time I spent with Joshua. Even the couple bumps in the road we’d encountered didn’t take the happiness we’d shared away. But movies weren’t real life. No, real life came with laughter, love, and whole lot of heartbreak. Joshua would leave my heart deeply scored, it was inevitable. But I wasn’t going to dwell on the end. I wanted to enjoy what time we had left.
After the pizza had been devoured and the movie ended, Joshua turned to me. A hint of apprehension marred his expression. “Can we try this again, little one?”
“Try what?”
“The shower?”
I smiled and nodded. “I’d like that. Yes.”
He stood and held out his hand. That familiar calm, reassurance emanated from him, and I knew the tormented Joshua had retreated.
The bathroom filled with steam as he shucked off his pants. Standing behind me, he loosened the ties of the corset as he trailed endearing kisses over my shoulder. I closed my eyes and lolled my head to the side. Reaching back, I cupped his nape, drifting away on wings of delight. Once inside the small enclosure, he pulled me beneath the spray and pressed his lips to mine. It was the start of a slow, languid seduction.
Sliding his soap-slick hands over my entire body, he cupped my cheeks. In his eyes, I saw regret and shame. “I never want to hurt you again, little one.”
I pressed my finger against his lips. “Let’s not make promises we can’t keep. We need to stay in the here and now.”
“Don’t fool yourself, little one. We both know it’ll never be enough,” he whispered, then kissed me.
I met his passion with a burst of my own. Joshua pressed inside me with tender indulgence. Never before had a more heart-melting or benevolent lover carried me away. The tempo of his gliding cock never altered, the intensity of his kiss never lessened, and beneath the compelling rhythm of his thrusts, and the fiery stroke of his tongue, I shattered. There was no Dominance, no submission, only the muffled cries of a woman and man lost in splendor.
Joshua’s body tensed as he followed me over on a groan. Held tight in his arms, I let the spray fall on my face. We’d never have forever. But this was one moment I’d never forget. I hoped as time passed, and his taste faded from my lips, he’d remember this solitary moment of perfection, too.
Long minutes later, Joshua raised his head and inched back. “Mellie, we didn’t use…”
“I know. I’m clean, and I’m on the pill.”
He nodded soberly. “I’ve never forgotten to glove up before.”
“I’m glad you did. Feeling your release was beautiful,” I shyly confessed.
A wicked smile curved his lips. “Beautiful can’t even come close to describing the way you felt. I might have to forget to use them again, and again, and…”
“Hold up, there. I might have to rest a bit in between. I’m not as young as I used to be,” I teased.
“That’s my line, girl,” he laughed, then kissed me again.
Joshua turned off the water. Drying me first and then himself, he led me back to bed. Just as he reached up to turn off the light, a light knock came at his door. With a curse, he climbed out of bed, slipped his sweatpants back on, and opened it.
James bit back a grin as he spied me in Joshua’s bed. “I need to talk to you for a minute,” James said as he nodded toward the hall.
“I’ll be right back,” Joshua promised before stepping out and closing the door.
After twenty minutes, I realized Joshua’s perception of ‘be right back’ and mine were on different time zones. The longer I waited, the more curious I became. Climbing from the bed, I rifled through his closet and found a black silk robe. Cinching the belt around my waist, I tiptoed to the door and pressed my ear against the wood. Nothing but silence greeted me.
