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“I’m sure it has been.”I issued a wary glance at Tony.
“Good.You won’t be surprised when I finally pick the lock on it, will you?”A devilish grin crawled across his face.“But I digress.You’ve told me how you feel about Paula and George.Now, tell me how Leagh feels.”
I scoffed.“You’d make a great shrink, you know that?”I grinned as Tony threw his head back and laughed.
“So I’ve been told.Stop evading my question, angel.”
“I’m not.I was just making an observation.Besides, you’ll think I’m crazy.”
“I deal with crazy people all day.You won’t shock me.Now go on,” Tony prompted.
“Mixed in with all the anger and pity, there’s this bizarre sense of satisfaction.I know I brought a little ray of light into George’s unhappy life.And while it would be easy to sit here and feel like he played me, the truth is he made me feel more accepted and cared for than any man in my life ever has.And for that, I’m grateful.Sounds crazy, right?”
“No, it doesn’t sound crazy.It sounds like you’ve been let down by a shit load of unworthy men all your life, sweetheart,” Tony replied with a sad frown.
“Don’t.I can’t stand to be pitied.”I shook my head.“Remember in Mika’s office when Reed told me that George loved me very much?”
“Yes.”
“I think he did…in his own way.But the love I want in a relationship is the forever after kind.I didn’t want to see it before now, but George and I never had that kind of depth.I just needed to believe that we did.”
“And?”Tony prompted.
I pondered silently, trying to figure out if there was more to say.I remembered when Tony had calmed me and showed me how to pluck each emotion as it whizzed by.
“I don’t want to waste time beating myself up for something that wasn’t real.I want to learn from my gigantic mistake and never give myself to a man who doesn’t love me back with his whole heart.I know that might be nothing more than a pipe dream, but I’m not going to settle for less than a man whose heart I can own.”I softly laughed and shook my head.
“What was that chuckle for?”
“Owning a man’s heart doesn’t sound very submissive, does it?”
“It’s not about submission, Leagh.It’s about finding the yin to your yang.There’s not a thing wrong with wanting to own a man’s heart and soul.Just make sure the next man who owns yours treasures and protects it as if it were his own.”
“Yeah, well, I doubt Prince Charming is going to come galloping down the halls of the club on a white stallion,” I replied with a hint of sarcasm.
“You never know.He might be here already,” Tony cryptically offered.
Was he referring to himself?Was there a possibility that the sultry fantasies I’d dreamt of might come true?Hope fluttered, and right on its heels, a tiny voice inside my head pelted it away.Tony’s wired for a woman more intense than you could ever dream of being.Mentally shaking the lofty fantasy from my brain, reality left me irritated with myself for harboring such ridiculous notions.
“I think you’ve dissected all of this in a very healthy way, Leagh.I’m proud of you.”
Tony leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss on the top of my head.Neither of us said anything for a long time.Wrapped in his warmth, I closed my eyes and internally said goodbye to George once and for all.
Several days later, I sat propped up in bed reading a romance novel.Boredom had taken a heavy toll.I was antsy to get out of my small room and dosomething.Glancing at the clock, I sighed, discovering it was only two in the afternoon.Tony wouldn’t be back for hours.My cell phone rang as if someone knew I needed a lifeline to the outside world.
I smiled as I checked the caller ID.“Hello, Trevor.”
“She’s on her way to the hospital,” Trevor squealed.“It’s baby time!”
“Really?”I screamed.“How long ago did they leave?”
“Mika just called Daddy from his car as they were heading to the hospital.Daddy was at the bank and called me,” Trevor giggled.“Between the two of them, I’m not sure which one is spazzing out more.I think they’re both ready for a guest shot on ‘Wild Kingdom.’Anyway, I told him I was gonna call Savannah, and that I’d get a ride with her.We’re all going to meet up at the hospital.If Daddy and Mika don’t stroke out before they get there.”
“Call me as soon as you hear something!”I demanded with a wide grin.
“I will.Savannah’s on her way over to pick me up now.Hey, do you want to go to the hospital with us?She’s got Nick’s monster truck.We’ll hoist your ass up into the backseat?”
“Damn, Trev, I’m not a fucking cow.You don’t have to hoist me anywhere, just help me into the truck.But hey, thanks for the warm and fuzzy love, you little shit,” I laughed.“If you’re sure she won’t mind stopping by to pick me up.I’m going stark raving mad here today.”
