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We stared at each other, her smiling, and I gave myself up for lost. Fuck it. I knew what I wanted. Her. I wanted her.
“Do you want to go out some night?” I asked out of nowhere.
She blinked. “What do you mean?”
“I mean like a date. Would you go out with me?”
For a second she didn’t say anything. But then she slapped my arm, something she seemed to enjoy doing. “Yes. I will, you silly man.”
The excitement that shot through me was more than a little embarrassing. I tried to play it cool. “Great. Awesome. We’re both off Sunday, how about then?”
She nodded. “Sure.” She made a gesture with her hand. “Call me.”
“I will.” Then because I clearly have zero impulse control, I cupped her cheeks and gave her a hard, quick kiss.
“Oh geez.” She gave a nervous laugh and glanced around. “Slow down there.”
But I didn’t even care. I strutted back to that bar like I owned it. I felt like I owned the entire fucking world.
I didn’t care when Thomas said, “I’m writing you up formally for that, Jordan.”
Grinning at him, I said, “It was worth it.”
—
The last time I had really studied myself in the mirror had been on my wedding day, when I had looked in the mirror and seen nothing but fear on my face. I had the trappings of a bride, but I hadn’t been an eager one. Now when I put on my makeup and fussed with my hair for my date with Christian, I felt eager. Running my hand over my flat stomach, I tried to see outward changes that I was pregnant. But honestly, the only evidence was the serenity on my face.
Kennedy thought I was insane because I was actually happy the test was positive. My only worry had been how Christian would feel, and that was still a huge concern, but it was very encouraging that he had asked me out.
I had given Christian my address, and when he rang the doorbell I went to let him in, eager both to see him and to show him my house. “Hi,” I said, swinging the door open wide. “Thanks for picking me up.”
“It wouldn’t be a real date if I met you somewhere.” He reached out and gave me a soft kiss.
It made my insides flutter and my heart swell. I couldn’t believe he had asked me out. But being in his proximity had definitely worked in my favor. Every night his stare had seemed to grow a little more intense. It was very satisfying.
“Want to see the house?” I asked, gesturing for him to come inside.
“I’d love to. I can’t believe you got that prick to cough up a house for you. I’m proud of you for being such a tough negotiator. And remind me to never piss you off. Not that I have anything you can take, but still.” He grinned.
I laughed. “Yeah, remember that.”
I was wearing a sundress because I was starting to spill out of my tighter-fitting shorts and tank tops. I really needed to lay off the fatty food. But I was pretty sure the boobs were all from the pregnancy. Even in this dress, they weren’t well contained, and my laugh brought Christian’s attention to them. They had a bounce I just wasn’t used to. It seemed like the girls were constantly fighting to jump out of my clothes. Christian was eyeing them now with naked interest. Wait until he saw them in all their bare, bouncy glory, assuming we got to that point. I felt very porn star with them and was looking forward to showing off this rounder me.
Ironic that I had spent a decade trying to be as skinny as possible, and now being even a little bit curvy made me feel so much more like a woman. Maybe that was just the pregnancy though. Knowing I had a baby growing automatically made me feel like a member of a new group of women.
“But I mean, really, I don’t think it was that much to ask,” I said. “This house was a third of the cost of Bradley’s condo in Boston. It was the least he could do. And now it’s all mine. Forever.” I led him into the cozy living room.
“Waiting on a furniture delivery?” he asked as he eyed the room devoid of all furniture except for my lawn chairs. “Or is your style minimalism?”
I shook my head. “I’m not worried about it right now. It’s a work in progress. I’ll probably buy a sofa and that’s it for a little while. I don’t want to blow through my savings.”
He seemed surprised by that. I knew what he was thinking—my dad was loaded. But I was an adult. I didn’t ask my father to buy me things. Aside from an insanely expensive wedding that I now deeply regretted. “It’s my house,” I added, trying to get the point across without having to spell it out.
“And it’s a really cool house. I like all the Craftsman details. That fireplace is amazing.”
“Right?” I beamed, pleased he knew something about architecture. “You have to see the garden. It’s one of the best things about this house.” I had already been picturing playing with our child in this garden. Our daughter. I was convinced it was a girl.
After much soul-searching, I had decided to wait until Christian and I were on better terms to tell him about the pregnancy. I already thought we were managing well despite a rocky ending to our physical relationship. We’d been working together almost five weeks now and had definitely moved past the awkward stage. When he had asked me out, I had been shocked but happy. I wanted the opportunity to really get to know Christian.
