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Some are deeper than others, but they all look like they need proper care, or they risk getting infected. She needs more help than I can give her, and I think she already knows that, which is why she didn’t want me to see.
Lilly quickly lowers her shirt, her movements slow as she lets out a shaky breath. Her hands are trembling, no doubt from the sheer pain she’s enduring just by moving.
“Lil, these need to be looked at and cleaned properly,” I explain.
She ignores me like I didn’t even speak, and instead, starts to pull clothes out of the bag she brought in with her. She hands me a thong and a matching lace bra, turning her back so I can change.
After a few minutes of deafening silence, she finally speaks, sounding more defeated than I’ve ever heard her before. “It’s part of the punishment. He’s showing me that nobody cares enough to help me, so why should I help others? It’s his way of showing he’s the only one who truly cares about me, who looks after me. He will make me suffer, until it gets to the point when I beg him for help, and that’s when he will get them looked at for me, or give me some painkillers. Until then, he wants me to isolate myself.”
“What a load of fucking bullshit!” I snap. “If I could get you a doctor, I would. If I could get you out of here, I would, and I know most of the girls in here feel the same. You need painkillers and a doctor, and the longer he keeps them from you—it’s torture. He’s a controlling asshole, and no matter how much he tries to make you think you need him, you don’t.”
My voice gets louder the more worked up I get. Even as I slide into the lingerie Lilly gave me, I can’t contain my rage. Lilly turns to me, a genuine smile on her face this time. She lays her hand against my cheek.
“I know all this. I know you’d save me if you could, as I would you. I’m very aware of the games he’s playing. The good thing is, he’s not aware of the ones we’re playing,” she says with a little laugh.
Before I’m able to say anything more, the door bursts open, and the guard strolls in. I don’t even bother trying to cover myself, as he’s not looking at me. His gaze is straight ahead, like he’s looking right through me. “Your hour is up,” he snaps, in a very monotone voice.
“We just have her dress to go. Two minutes, please?” Lilly says, in the sickly sweet voice she uses on the men when she wants to get her way.
Even though he doesn’t appear to be moved by her, he turns around. “One minute.”
Without saying anything more, Lilly quickly pulls the very thin silk dress over my head. It’s bright red, and definitely not the size I’d normally wear. Even though I’ve lost weight whilst here, I’ve still managed to maintain some of my curves. The silky material clings to my body, pulling tight across my hips, ass, and tits, stopping mid-thigh.
It’s a beautiful dress, but all I can imagine is the look on my mum’s face if she ever saw me in a dress like this. I can hear her now, telling me it looks like I’m wearing sexy lingerie, and that I clearly forgot to put on proper clothes.
She’d then go into a long lecture about how it's better to leave some things to a man’s imagination. If they can see everything, and know exactly what they’re going to get, there’s no mystery. She always told me to leave them guessing, and to only show my assets to guys who work hard to see them.
A sense of shame and guilt floods through me as I think of Mum. She’d hate this life I’ve gotten myself caught up in, and I know she’d blame herself. But the thing is, I’d do this all over again, a million times over, if it meant I could get her the help she needed.
My only regret is not asking for Desmond’s help sooner. If I’d put my stubborn pride to the side earlier, I might have been able to get Mum to the US, and into the trial. Instead, she’s gone,and I’m stuck in a hell I can’t ever escape from. I don’t regret borrowing the money, or the life I’m trapped in, I just regret not doing it sooner—to give her a real chance.
Before the darkness is able to descend, and I get lost in thoughts of my mum, Lilly pulls me towards the door, where the guard is making it clear we’ve kept him waiting long enough. Lilly drags me through the dark corridors, and I keep my eyes fixed on the ground the way I’ve been taught.
I learnt very early on that if you make eye contact with any of the guards, that’s permission for them to interact with you, and not in a good way. I’ve taken so many beatings for making eye contact, I don’t even bother anymore.
At first I saw it as defiance, my little way of fighting back, but I quickly learnt there’s no point fighting back if it doesn’t get you anywhere. Now I only rebel if I’m going to achieve something—like setting the girls free. Or the one time I was able to get in such a hard kick to the balls, the guy actually lost a testicle. That was really fucking worth it.
It’s not long until we’re standing outside the door I know leads into The Sheriff's office. There’s already one guard standing outside, and the one with us goes to stand on his other side. Lilly takes a deep breath as she stands up taller, no doubt trying to pull on as much strength as she can muster.
Her hand that is still linked with mine begins to tremble, and her eyes close for just a moment as she raises her closed fist to knock. I can’t even imagine the horrors she’s endured behind this door, yet she pulls on every ounce of strength she has, so that when she opens the door and strides inside, none of her fear or anxiety can be seen. She plasters a fake smile on her face, pushes her tits out, and sways her hips as she saunters in.
She drags me behind her until we’re both standing in front of The Sheriff’s desk. I keep my eyes lowered as much as I can, though the urge to look up and face him thrums in my veins.
“Sir, I hope she meets your expectations,” Lilly sings, as she begins pushing at me, twirling me, so that he can assess all of me.
I feel her cold fingers under my chin as she pushes upwards, forcing me to look up at the leering gaze of the man I hate. I look at a blank spot on the wall behind him, making sure to keep my expression as vacant as I can.
“Very good, my whore,” he replies to Lilly, before his gaze on her narrows. “I hope this little task hasn’t made you forget your place in this room.”
His voice is thick and menacing, and Lilly’s eyes widen as she takes in the threat. Her eyes flick between me and him, and a look that can only be shame descends over her as she seems to deflate.
Dropping her gaze to the floor, turning herself slightly away from me to face him, she lets out an almost inaudible sigh, as she pulls the black T-shirt she’s wearing over her head first, before moving to her denim skirt.
She tries not to look at me, and so I do my best to try and look away, to give her the privacy it’s clear she wants, but I know if I close my eyes, I will be punished. I try to focus on the section of wall again, but it’s no use. Every movement she makes confuses me more, and I have to know what she’s doing.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I notice that once she’s removed her clothes, she gently lays them on the chair in front of her before she kneels on the floor. Completely naked, her skin is even more pale than I thought, and my breath hitches as the light hits all the myriad of colours that litter her skin.
Some of the scars are translucent or flesh-coloured, suggesting they’re old and healed. Some have a red, pinkish edge, showing they’re healing, but are not quite there yet. Some are angry and raised, red and purple in colour, obviously not having had a chance to heal yet.
