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Introductions and nice-to-meet-yous handled, Micah suggested they find someplace to eat before they do anything else. A short walk later, they were inside the Chelsea Market, and it was obvious to Jake that Alex was completely head-over-heels for Robin. If they weren’t holding hands, Alex had his arm around her. They kept smiling at each other and were practically finishing each other’s sentences, for crying out loud.
They were so in sync, Jake was a bit surprised when Robin and Alex didn’t want the same type of food, although the choices were plentiful and no one wanted the same thing. They agreed to split up and meet back at one of the table areas. Alex surprised Jake by coming with him, saying he knew Jake was heading for the burgers, which was right next to the Mediterranean place where he intended to get a gyro. When Alex and Robin kissed again, this time like they weren’t going to see each other for years, Jake caught sight of Micah rolling his eyes and grimaced. Micah returned the expression, but Jake could also see the longing in his eyes as he watched his best friend kissing his new girlfriend.
It confirmed what Jake already knew. Micah wanted a relationship like this. He’d known even back at Stanford, when he’d seen Micah at that bar, and yet he’d gone after Micah when he disappeared at the cast party. That night, he hadn’t been sure why finding Micah was so important, just knew he had to do it. He also didn’t understand why one time with Micah hadn’t been enough, when it always had been before. For the first couple of weeks of his visit, every morning after he left Micah’s bed and headed back to Alex’s, he told himself to stop. He wasn’t what Micah wanted. He was going to end up hurting Micah. He knew it. Alex knew it. And yet, here they were. Jake had less than a week before he returned home, less than a week before he was going to break Micah’s heart because he had no idea how to be in any relationship, let alone a long-distance one.
The storm cloud over his head grew even darker as he watched Micah watch Alex and Robin with envy and longing written all over his gorgeous face.
“Come on, you two, knock it off before you get arrested,” Jake growled before turning on his heel and walking in the direction of the burger place.
Alex caught up with him a minute later and bumped his shoulder. “What do you think?”
“I think I’m gonna have a single this year.”
“Come on. It’s not like that.” When Jake rolled his eyes, Alex shrugged. “No. I’m serious. It really isn’t like that at all.”
“Then it doesn’t really matter what I think, does it?”
“Not really. But Robin’s great, isn’t she? I mean, I know she’s great, and I— What?”
Jake shook his head. “Just invite me to the wedding, okay?”
It didn’t surprise Jake at all when Alex, instead of denying the possibility, just grinned, his eyes taking on a dreamy look that made Jake’s insides squirm. “Deal,” he said.
* * * * *
By the time his food was ready, the others were back at the table, and Jake paused while he was still far enough away that he could observe them without being noticed. Alex and Robin were practically wrapped around each other as they ate, heads touching, quick kisses, a private conversation even though Micah was sitting at the same table. While Jake thought Alex and Robin were ridiculous—he’d seen couples act this way before, and he just didn’t get the need to be in each other’s space that way—it was the expression on Micah’s face that just about did him in. It was hunger and longing and hope. It told him how much Micah wanted to have a relationship like that. And, when Micah caught sight of Jake and all that angst transformed into a glorious smile, Jake knew Micah wanted to have that relationship with him.
Jake’s insides squirmed as he sat down at the table. Micah slid close enough, Jake could feel the heat of him even though they weren’t touching. The duo across from them didn’t even look up. Alex was caressing Robin’s face, and she was nuzzling his neck, and Jake wanted to make a retching sound like a five-year-old who still thought girls had cooties. He offered Micah a smile and an eye roll, and Micah smiled back at him. The smile dimmed almost as soon as it formed, and Micah focused on picking pieces of sausage off the slice of pizza he’d gotten for lunch.
Taking a bite of his burger, Jake watched Micah watch Alex and Robin. He didn’t have to see the couple to know when they touched or kissed because, every time they did, Micah’s breath hitched, or he flinched and looked down at the table. A couple of times, Micah glanced his way, moved closer, or shifted his hand on the tabletop so it was right next to Jake’s, and Jake wondered if Micah expected him to reciprocate in some way—touch Micah or lean against him or tuck the hair brushing the top of his ear back into place like Alex had just done for Robin. Jake had no idea what he was supposed to do, how he was supposed to act. If they’d been on their own, Jake would make some kind of sexual overture—run his fingers up the inside of Micah’s thigh, trace Micah’s lips with his thumb—all precursors to going somewhere to fuck, but he couldn’t do that here.
Alex whispered something to Robin, and she giggled, murmured something back. Alex kissed the tip of her nose.
Beside him, Micah sighed and looked at Jake as if he wanted Jake to do something similar. He felt a sudden surge of irritation that Micah seemed to expect something like that from him and was frustrated at how much hurt he saw on Micah’s face the longer Jake didn’t reach out for him.
Part of the reason he held back was because they were gay. PDA was risky because he never knew if someone was going to take offense at two guys showing affection for each other. Assholes looked like everyone else until they punched you in the face, and that was as true in San Francisco and New York as anywhere else. So Jake wasn’t in a hurry to put himself or Micah, especially Micah, at risk by reaching over and entwining their fingers.
The larger part of it, though, was how confused he was about his feelings for Micah. He liked Micah. He liked talking to Micah, cuddling with him while they watched a movie, doing just about anything with him. Although sex with Micah was better than with anyone else, Jake’s desire to be with Micah wasn’t only about that. And that, right there, was what set Jake’s head spinning.
As much as he wished Alex a thousand deaths for coming home a day early, he also wanted to go back to Alex’s and have some space without Micah in it so he could figure out what the hell was going on in his head. If he left Micah’s house, though, it meant giving up his last few chances to be with Micah, and that didn’t thrill him at all.
He turned his attention back to Alex and Robin, who currently had their foreheads pressed together and were talking in whispers, completely wrapped up in each other. Without thinking, Jake reached over and snagged a chip off Micah’s plate. When he realized what he’d done, he looked at Micah, about to apologize, but stopped when he saw the huge smile on Micah’s face. Like I’ve made his fucking day.
“I’m gonna go find a restroom,” Jake said and stood up. Without waiting for a response— not that he was going to get one from Alex—he took off down the corridor toward the closest men’s room.
The Market was built to resemble an open-air bazaar, with short, meandering passageways lined with shops. The floor was sometimes cobble, sometimes smooth, and the restaurants and stores alternated between open facades and ones designed to look like they were storefronts on a street, complete with full-paned windows, front doors, and flower boxes. It took a bit of wandering to find the sign for the restroom.
“Jake!”
He stopped and turned, waiting until Micah caught up to him. Despite his foul mood and confusion, the sight of Micah walking toward him, all grace and beauty, was something Jake knew he would never get tired of. Add in the concern in those incredible blue eyes and, yeah, he might not be interested in the lovey-dovey routine, but he couldn’t deny how much he was pissed off that Alex had ruined their final day together. And how much better he felt knowing Micah cared enough to come after him.
“What’s going on? And don’t tell me it’s because you’re hungry.”
“I was going to the bathroom.”
Micah searched his face. “Remember that first day on the boat? After the cast party? Remember the mood I was in?” When Jake nodded, Micah grinned. “Pot meet kettle. Don’t try to bullshit me. You don’t want to be here.” His expression turned uncertain. “Or maybe not with Alex and Robin.”
Jake shoved his hands in his front pockets. “Yeah.” He shrugged. “They’re a bit much.”
