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“Excuse me” is all the warning I give. The two girls have turned into statues while I fiddle with my T-shirt until I’m grabbing it by the neck. I pull it over Tinker Bell’s head.
She makes that sound when a lot of words want to tumble out at the same time but her mouth can’t keep up. Her protests are weak, and I manage to pull her arms through and lower the garment all the way. Looking down at herself makes her stagger.
I grab her by the shoulders. Moisture is already seeping through the fabric. But other than dark splotches, no one will see what they shouldn’t.
Her friend clears her throat. “Uh…”
“You’re naked,” Tinker Bell says to my stomach.
“Technically,” I say, not even trying to mask my amusement, “I’m only half-naked.”
For a second, I fear she’s about to lurch forward and puke her guts up. I brace, but all she does is squint at my abs.
“Damn, how many of you are there?”
Her friend bursts out laughing. “Oh, this is amazing.”
“I think you should go home, Tinker Bell. You’re very drunk.”
“I am not.” Her eyebrows crash, her nose wrinkles, and her bottom lip juts out.
I have to look away, because I’m this close to biting it.
“Er, anyway. Can you take her?”
“So you’re willing to stay at this party looking like this?” The more sober girl draws a line up and down in the air with her finger.
This entire night hasn’t been my best idea. I knew it was a dick move to play this game with a girl, but I didn’t want to watch her take on Boucher. That wouldn’t have gone well. Or it’d have gone even worse than this.
“I mean, what other choice do I have?”
“You could…” We both observe the other girl as she makes a too-long pause. “Take her home?”
“But it’s so early!” Tinker Bell tries to shake her shoulders. All it accomplishes is that she crashes face first against my chest.
I freeze, hands up in the air.
Her friend gives me a condescending smile. “Tag, you’re it.”
Through gritted teeth, I say, “You do know I’m a virtual stranger, right?”
She shrugs. “You’ve already shown more chivalry than any other guy here. Besides, if something happens to her, I know exactly where to find you.”
“Do you seriously think your captain would be happy with this?”
“Fine. I still think Luz could knee you in the cojones if you tried anything. Right, Captain?”
Tinker Bell hiccups. “Absolutely.”
Doubt it, especially because she looks like she’d be trying to aim at two sets of cojones instead of one.
“Stay still,” I order. She sways even more. While holding one of her arms, I turn around and pull her against me. It takes another try until she’s positioned so I can pick her up. With one little bounce, I manage to tuck my hands under her thighs.
“I’ll lead the way out,” the other girl says. As if that were the toughest job.
But she opens the bathroom door, and the crunch does prove it a tough task. Progress is very slow through the house when we keep getting blocked by people who want to leer or make fun of us. Someone tries to take a picture, and I have to pause the trek to swipe their phone and delete it.
At last, we make it outside and I can breathe easier.
