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My sister shot the head of the Bratva Wolves to save me. There was more than Kay’s testimony that sent me away. Because that night I took the gun from my sister and put my fingerprints on it. I spread my blood on the murder weapon. There was absolutely no way I would ever let it be linked back to her.
But the Wolves had a different idea of justice. A few months later, they took her, and before I could find her, I was arrested.
She shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I never… I was never awake when they moved me. The compound where I was held…it was destroyed.”
“Enough.” Sam puts his gigantic body between my sister and me. “You are not bringing back traumatic memories. Not when they are useless and even less when your sister worked so hard at getting better. I’m putting a stop to this for the night.”
He turns to the two women behind him. “We’re going home.”
“I’m sorry,” Rose repeats, and I can see how bad she feels. It’s written all over her face.
“It’s okay, Ozy.”
But when I turn to leave the room, fire spreads throughout my veins. It’s destructive, and unable to stop myself, I act on it.
Before I know what’s happening, everything that was on the kitchen island is wiped away, thrown to the floor. And in less than a minute, my kitchen is destroyed, plates shattered, the oven door broken, appliances wrecked.
There’s chaos in my head, and all that roars out of my mouth are the same three words.
“Where is she?” Something else is destroyed, but all I see is Kayla’s body being used by other men. Men who want to break her. All I hear are her cries of pain.
“Where is she?!” I scream again. Something isn’t right inside. It hurts. My heart is hardening, so stiff I wonder how it can even beat.
“…stop.” I can barely hear her voice. My sister. She’s trying to reach through the fury. “Please, breathe.”
It’s her hands flat on my cheeks that start to bring me back. I don’t want to hurt her. She forces me to look at her, her eyes digging into mine. “We’ll find her.” I try to shrug her away, but she keeps me still with a soft hold.
“We’ll find her,” she repeats. “Nate, if I survived the Wolves for two years, Kayla King can too. She’s as tough as they come. They won’t break her. They can’t.”
I grunt something that sounds like an agreement through my panting breaths.
“We’ll find her.”
My shoulders sag. “I can’t name it,” I croak. “It fucking hurts.”
Her eyes bounce between mine. “Name what?”
Kay would get it. My little sunflower would look at me, unimpressed, annoyed that I’m such a lost cause. And then she would help me. She would help me name it so I can process it.
What do I feel, little sunflower? Name it.
Helpless, my sun.
45
NATHAN
Woke Up A Rebel - Reuben And The Dark
“Daddy, I want Mommy’s waffles. The waffles. I don’t like, Daddy.”
I sip on my coffee, taking my time before talking to my daughter. I’m leaning on the counter with Livie in my arms while Lia plays around with the food on her plate. She loves my pancakes, but when I make waffles, she prefers Kay’s.
Because she associates waffles with her mom, and she misses her mom. So they’re not good enough.
“Daddy, where’s Mommy?”
Every morning, Lia asks me the same question. She asks for waffles, tells me she prefers her mom’s, and then uses the occasion to ask where she is. And every day, I tell her the same lie.
