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We chat for a while longer over tapas, catching up and swapping stories from our time apart. The alcohol helps dull my nerves and I start to relax into the familiar comfort of Diane’s company. When our plates are cleared, Diane grabs my hand. “Come on, let’s dance! I didn’t come all the way down here to sit around talking.”
I let her pull me onto the dance floor. The pounding beat of the music vibrates in my chest. We dance and laugh together, spinning under the flashing lights. For a few songs, I forget my worries and give in to the music. Then a man slides up behind me, pressing close as he moves to the rhythm of the song. Diane glances over my shoulder and grins at him, giving me a wink. My heart leaps into my throat.
“Hey there,” he says with a dazzling smile. “I couldn’t help but notice two beautiful women over here having way too much fun without me.”
Diane laughs, but I stare at the man in mute panic. What if Diane thinks I want this? She’s bound to find out about me and Brian eventually. I have to get rid of him.
“Sorry, we’re just here to dance with each other tonight,” I say quickly. I grab Diane’s hand, pulling us away from the man. “Come on, let’s go get another drink.”
Diane shoots me a confused look but follows me off the dance floor without argument. We head to the bar, and I order two shots of tequila, passing one to Diane. She eyes me curiously.
“What was that about?” she asks. “We were just having fun!”
I knock back my shot, wincing at the burn, and signal the bartender for another. “I just didn’t feel like dancing with some random guy,” I say. “I came here to spend time with you.”
It’s not a complete lie. I did come here to see Diane—I just didn’t plan on spending the whole night worried she might discover my secret. The tequila dulls my anxiety, but not enough. This is going to be a long night.
Diane frowns, clearly not buying my excuse. She knows me too well to believe I’d turn down a handsome man for no reason. But she doesn’t press the issue and instead orders a second shot for herself.
We move to a corner table to continue our conversation. The alcohol helps me relax, and soon we’re chatting and laughing like old times. It’s easy to forget my worries when I’m with Diane. She’s always known how to cheer me up. A couple hours pass in a blur of drinks and dancing. Diane points out a few more guys she thinks I should talk to, but I make more excuses. My willpower’s fading, and if I’m not careful, I might let something slip about Brian.
As last call approaches, Diane grabs my hands. “Please tell me what’s going on,” she says. “You’ve been acting weird all night. Did I do something to upset you?”
Panic rises in my chest. I can’t tell her the truth, but I hate lying to my best friend.
“It’s nothing,” I say. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.”
“Tanya, come on,” Diane presses. “We’ve always been able to tell each other anything. You can trust me.”
Her words pierce me with guilt. She’s right—we have no secrets between us. Except for this one.
I look away, tears pricking at my eyes. How did I get into this mess? “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “There are some things I can’t share, even with you.”
Diane stares at me, shock and hurt etched into her features. I’ve never kept anything from her before. But telling the truth could destroy both our friendship and my relationship with Brian. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. Even if it means losing Diane’s trust, she can never know the truth about me and Brian. No matter the cost.
The club is closing. The strobe lights flicker off and the music fades away. Diane and I walk out into the cool night air, an awkward silence between us. I don’t know how to fix the rift I’ve caused, and I dread what might come next. Diane hails a cab. She gets in and holds the door open, waiting for me to follow her. For a moment, I hesitate, wondering if she really wants me to join her or if she’s just being polite.
“Well? Are you coming or what?”
Relief washes over me. Our friendship isn’t over yet. I slide into the cab beside her, the familiar scent of her perfume enveloping me in comfort. We have a long history together, and our bond is hard to break. On the ride back to our neighborhood, Diane just stares out the window. I study her profile, noticing the tightness around her eyes and mouth. She’s still upset with me, and I can’t blame her. When the cab pulls up in front of her house, Diane turns to me. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I’m here if you ever want to talk.” Her expression is guarded, but there’s warmth in her tone.
“Thank you,” I say softly. “Our friendship means the world to me. I’m sorry for being so distant.”
“Yeah, well.” Diane shrugs. “Just don’t shut me out again.”
“I won’t. Promise.”
She nods and squeezes my hand before climbing out of the cab. I watch until she’s safely inside, then direct the driver to my own house. The lies weigh heavily on my conscience, but protecting my secret is the only way to keep everything I hold dear. As long as Diane remains in the dark, I can have my cake and eat it too. I’m just worried that the guilt might eat me alive.
I wake slowly the next morning, my head pounding. Sunlight streams through the blinds, and for a moment I’m disoriented. Then the memories of last night come flooding back.
Diane; the club; all the worries and tension, followed by letting loose on the dance floor. We laughed and danced like we were teenagers again, without a care in the world. It felt so good to reconnect with my best friend, even if I did have to hide the truth from her.
A wave of guilt washes over me as I think of Brian. We’ve been hooking up for a while now, keeping our relationship hidden from everyone who knows us. He’s been patient, but I can tell it’s becoming increasingly difficult for him. With a sigh, I drag myself out of bed and into the shower. The hot water soothes my aching head, and I stand there for a long time, lost in my thoughts. I need to decide, once and for all, whether coming clean to Diane is worth the risk. If she were to find out about Brian and me from someone else, it would destroy her trust in me completely. At the same time, if Brian discovers that I’m friends with his daughter, I can’t even fathom how he’d react. Continuing to lie and sneak around is tearing me apart. I just don’t know what to do.
Chapter fourteen
Tough as Nails
