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He blew out a sigh. There was no point in trying to lie to Dimitri about identities. Dimitri knew Felinus as his nickname on sight and it didn’t take a genius to figure out how he might have gotten Issac’s missing ID after Issac confirmed he’d had a one-night stand. He rejected another call. “Yes, same guy. No, I didn’t know I was going to see him again. I honestly had no intention of seeing him again.”
Dimitri’s face scrunched up for a moment. “So… wh- what did you guys end up doing?”
Issac studied Dimitri, letting his face go still. He had a few ways to answer that question but he wasn’t sure if he wanted Dimitri to know Issac knew who his brother was and the men who followed him around or if he wanted to make Dimitri give up more information. “We had dinner,” he said finally, his tone even, “and he took me shopping. He’s interested in my future career.”
“You know I would have done that years ago,” Dimitri said, his eyes darting to the phone as it vibrated again. “I want to see you succeed! All you would have had to do is ask and I’d have done the same thing!”
Issac’s jaw tightened. He did know that, but he also knew that everything came with a string attached.
For Felinus, he thought he had an idea of what those strings were. The Cat was hardly subtle about his present interest and constant touching, not to mention his misplaced concern for the health and welfare of a stranger, but he was also buying Issac’s favor and ear for future pull. There was no real telling where Issac would end up after college but it didn’t really matter. The Family thrived by spreading their nets wide and far. Whether Issac stayed in the lower rungs or rose to the top, Felinus might have a need for him to help the Family’s interest and he was paying ahead on that phone call.
Dimitri wasn’t so clear. He thought, maybe, Dimitri himself didn’t realize how many strings came with an offer like that; that the big Russian really did think that he could just offer money even knowing where it came from and nothing would be expected in return. Despite what he had told Felinus last night, Issac knew Dimitri wasn’t just friendly. He knew Dimitri wanted to be Issac’s friend and perhaps more one day, but it wasn’t something Issac was willing to risk; not knowing what Dimitri was.
He rejected another call. “I know you would have,” he said, keeping his voice even. “But I didn’t want it. I don’t want anyone’s pity or charity or however you want to phrase it. I didn’t ask for anyone’s help or attention. I don’t want anyone’s help. I’ve been just fine on my own.”
“Then why let him do it,” Dimitri snapped, rage filling his face. “Why go with him instead of coming to me? Why let him suck on your neck like a common-” His eyes went wide as he slammed his mouth shut.
Issac felt himself go cold as he stared at Dimitri. “Like a common what, Dimitri?” he asked softly, suddenly feeling all the whispers pressing in all around him.
“Nothing,” Dimitri said quickly, still very wide-eyed. “Issac, I didn’t-”
The phone vibrated again and Issac launched himself into motion, picking up the two bags in one hand and snatching the phone away with the other.
“Issac,” Dimitri said, grabbing for his wrist.
Issac jerked away before Dimitri could touch him and glared down at him for the first time, letting him see the rage that lived in Issac, feeling a twisted satisfaction as the larger man shrank back. “It’s good to know what you really think of me, Volkov,” he said, letting every word come out as pure venom that was always meant for someone else. “Perhaps you’d be better off sitting with Busch and his friends. Don’t darken my shadow again.” He didn’t wait for him to react, instead storming out of the library without a glance back as Dimitri called his name again.
The cold air hit him in the face with the same force as a punch to the gut and Issac let out a gasp in the growing darkness. For a moment, he struggled to breathe as he put one foot in front of the other to keep moving out of the light from the library doors. The phone vibrated in his hand and he looked down at the cat patiently licking its paw then wiping it across his ear. Pressing the green button, he brought it to his ear.
Felinus was swearing in Italian and English as the call connected. “Never hang up on me or reject my calls again,” he snarled into Issac’s ear. “Do it again and I’ll find you and super glue the phone to your hand! Do you hear me, Issac?”
“Yes,” Issac agreed, sounding hollow even to his own ears as he stared at the middle distance ahead of him, unable it seemed to get his legs moving and wondering when he had stopped.
There was a pause then the crackled of a car door like someone getting out. “What’s wrong, baby boy?” Felinus asked, all the anger suddenly gone from his voice, replaced by what sounded like genuine concern. “What’s happened?”
Issac took a breath and it shuddered, hurting in his lungs like he was seconds away from drowning. You don’t care, he told himself. You don’t care about the rumors and the whispers and what anyone else thinks. You don’t CARE! He did care. Of course, he fucking cared. The closest person he had ever allowed to be a friend in the last fifteen years just agreed with every rumor that had been following him for the last six. “I hate this,” he said, his voice cracking as his vision blurred. “I hate it. Mist,” he swore, his chest aching in pain, “just when I think it can’t get any worse, it does and I’m sick of it.”
There was a dark form jogging towards him and he blinked, feeling the cold air sting at the wet skin as Felinus came into focus. There was a moment where Felinus seemed to falter, then he was taking the phone from Issac’s hand and his warm woolen coat scratched at Issac’s face as he pulled Issac into his chest, chasing away the cold with gentle fingers. “I’m sorry, baby boy,” he said softly, his fingers pulling the scarf he had put around Issac’s neck that morning higher to protect him. “It’s alright. It’s going to be okay.”
Issac didn’t hug Felinus back as those warm arms held him, even as he leaned into his chest and tried to pull himself back together only to feel himself lose it all over again at those soft empty reassurances.
The fingers tightened for a moment and Issac thought he heard retreating footsteps behind them. “Come on, baby boy,” Felinus said softly, tugging at Issac gently to put him into motion. “Let’s go home.”
* * *
Dimitri let himself drop to the ground as pain went from his burned and bruised fingers up his shoulder after hitting the steel door of the outside-facing classroom, cursing himself the entire way. How could he say those things to Issac? He knew- knew- the things people had been saying to him all day. He had seen that mask of calm indifference flickering with each prying question and text message all day. All he had to do was act like a normal fucking person and things would have been fine. Issac had said exactly what Adrian said he needed to hear to intervene with the Cat’s plans. If he had just held his tongue and told Issac that he just needed to repeat what he said about not wanting the Cat around to his brother, then everything could go back to how it was and the Cat wouldn’t bother Issac anymore.
And then he went and opened his big, fat mouth and let his anger speak for him. He nearly- no, he did call Issac a whore. He might not have gotten the word out but he didn’t need to. They both knew how that sentence ended and they both knew the history and rumors that wouldn’t leave Issac alone, even five years after Dimitri had scared off the men who hurt Issac in that bathroom.
He closed his eyes and sucked cold air through his teeth, feeling it coat his tongue, seeing the look Issac gave him as he told Dimitri to stay away from him like it was burnt permanently into his memory. Adrian and Papa were frightening when angered, both of them could silence Dimitri with a look or a strike to a table even though neither had ever laid hands on him. That look was something else. It was like murder without remorse and he quivered at the memory of it, wanting to run and hide like a child to escape it.
He deserved that. Issac needed a friend and Dimitri cut him instead. He deserved it if Issac never spoke to him again.
He opened his eyes as he tried to steel his heart. Issac could hate him and never forgive him for what he said, but that wouldn’t stop Dimitri from helping him. Pulling out his phone he looked at the missed call from the number Issac was now using then the phone unlocked as it recognized his face and he pressed the speed dial.
* * *
Felinus had a mind to carry Issac to the car after Little Volkov ran into the darkness. He would have if the backpack and lunch bag hadn’t complicated it. Thankfully Issac was just as easy to put into motion in this broken state as he was any other time Felinus had to get him moving.
